


Diamonds in the Rough

by benchofindigo



Series: Diamonds [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Changing POV, Fighting and violence, Multi, PTSD, Post TLJ, Torture, injuries, mental manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-06-17 12:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 69,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15461238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benchofindigo/pseuds/benchofindigo
Summary: Things are dire after Crait, but hope is not lost.Aid comes from the most unexpected of places and long lost connections are found.But that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. Especially when our heroes are not only battling the First Order, but also themselves.





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Plan on updating every Friday.
> 
> Please let me know if I've written anything offensive or harmful and I will do my best to change it!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

Something isn’t right.

That is the first thought that runs through her mind. The room is dark and cold and she doesn’t know where she is. The smell of death lingers in the air.

She steps further into the room, hand going to the lightsaber at her side. She stops short when she realizes that she is not the only person in the room. How has she not noticed that before? She feels it now, this terrible, great power looming behind her.

She whirls around, lightsaber in her hand ready to ignite, but then she freezes. She can’t move. Why can’t she move?

The person is standing in the shadows too dark a form to make out, but they are stepping forwards, taking their sweet time about it. Then…

Kylo Ren steps into the dim light. He looks put together — clothing immaculate and perfectly pressed, not a hair out of place and a calm, focused expression on his face. His eyes slowly flick over her body as if he’s analyzing a particularly interesting object.

It irritates her. The palms of her hands start to sweat and her heart beats rapidly in her chest, but for whatever reason she can not move. Anger and panic course through her body and yet she can do nothing about it.

“You know your place is by my side. Come back to me,” Kylo Ren says. His voice is soft and inviting. Saying the words as if he is stating a fact. It is jarring really. So unlike the violent temperament that she is accustomed to.

“No,” she says. At least her voice works.

A flicker of annoyance crosses Kylo Ren’s face before it turns back into the perfectly blank expression it was before. “I have sensed the dark side in you. Join me — you will experience power like you never have before.”

She claws down deep inside of her, pulling at all the power she knows she possesses to break free of whatever curse is holding her still. “Stop,” she says and by some blessed miracle manages to activate her lightsaber.

She stumbles backwards a few steps as her regained ability to move has thrown her off kilter, but she quickly regains her balance.

Kylo Ren watches all of this with an amused look. He chuckles as he pulls out his own lightsaber and activates it. “I know you want to.”

The gall of the man! Daring to pretend that he knows what she wants. She leaps forward, swinging her lightsaber down towards her biggest nemesis. Kylo Ren easily blocks it, and then to her utmost horror manages to knock her lightsaber away from her. She doesn’t know how that happened.

Kylo Ren sneers at her as he slowly saunters forward. It is like he is toying with her. He holds out his lightsaber, point going right under her chin; one small movement and her neck will be sliced open. “Can’t you see? If you continue like this all the people you care about will die.”

She is suddenly bombarded with images. Children screaming for help, mothers being beaten to death, fathers being shot in the back. The Resistance crumbling, Finn dying…

Rey wakes up with a gasp, sweat covering her face and her breathing erratic. As her breathing slowly comes under control an immense wave of relief washes over her as she realizes that it had just been a dream. Still, she can’t seem to get the images out of her head — how Kylo Ren had been so in control, all those people dying, everything. Can it be a warning of the future? Are they all truly doomed?

Her skin feels prickly and uncomfortable and she knows she won’t be able to get back to sleep so she quickly gets up and leaves the little room she made for herself in the Falcon. With what is left of the Resistance on board with her there isn’t a lot of space, but Rey has never needed much space to begin with.

She wanders down the Falcon’s halls until she makes it to a section that has a window where she can see out into space. The cold, dark, ever vast emptiness stretching out before her endlessly. She doesn’t know if it calms her down or just makes her detach from everything else, but its better than constantly running that dream over and over again in her mind.

She sits down and stares out the window, wishing not for the first time that she wasn’t so alone.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Rey looks up and sees Finn standing at the end of the hall in a cream coloured top. He looks exhausted, but smiles gently as he comes over and sits down beside her. He looks her over once then puts his arm around her pulling her close to his side. The familiarity of it all soothes her and for the first time in awhile she feels safe. She’s missed this.

As they sit for awhile the horrible, wicked thoughts start entering her mind again. Not even Finn can hold them at bay, though it would be unfair to expect him to be able to. However, she feels like she needs to confess. She’s held it all in for the sake of the Resistance and their battered remnants. Who cares about the mistakes that she made when so many others are dead? To them, she saved them all, that should be enough. But it isn’t, and she knows it.

“I messed up.”

Finn, beautiful, kind Finn shakes his head. “That’s impossible.”

Rey, however, can’t let this slide. She needs to get it out, at least some of it. Someone needs to understand. “I thought I could do it. Thought that if I could just remind Ben of who he was, then he would… stop.”

Ben. Kylo Ren isn’t Ben anymore, hasn’t been for a long while. She can see now that she never got to meet Ben. It is Kylo Ren who she has a cursed Force connection with and he is long past redemption, she had just been blinded by that for whatever reason.

“Yeah, even I could have told you that wouldn’t work.”

Despite everything that has happened Rey can’t help but laugh. Of course Finn would be able to see the humour in all of this. She turns and punches him lightly on the arm.

“Ow!” Finn mock whimpers clutching his arm in an over exaggerated fashion.

Rey laughs again. Oh, how dearly she has missed her friend; the only person who has ever looked at her with kindness and respect without demanding anything in return. The thought turns her somber again. “I just… he made me face that I was nobody. My parents really did sell me and left me on Jakku. I always thought there had to be more than that.”

A frown mares Finn’s face as he turns to face Rey. “Hey, you’re not no one. You’re fearless, amazing Rey — scavenger, pilot, mechanic, and jedi all wrapped up in one. Don’t listen to a word that evil psychopath says.”

She smiles, a warmth filling her chest. “Thanks Finn. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

His words fill her with a sudden bout of guilt. It was she who had left him when he was still in a coma, uncertain whether he would ever wake up again, and yet since they’ve been reunited she has not once asked how he’s been doing. They have all been terribly busy, and Finn has spent most of his time looking after Rose who still hasn’t woken up, but still those are all such meek excuses.

“How’s your back?” Rey asks, for it’s the easiest question to ask.

Finn hesitates and Rey knows that there is something wrong, but Finn deflects and Rey doesn’t have the strength at the moment to push. “It’s… okay. Thanks for saving my life by the way.”

“You saved mine first, I just had to even the scales.”

“Oh I see how it is!”

They both chuckle and it's easy, this simple banter. It’s nice. But the question that has been nagging on Rey’s mind ever since she reunited with the Resistance is bothering her too much for her to keep quiet. So, she ruins the moment.

“So, who’s Rose?”

Like expected, Finn’s face falls and he gets a far away look in his eye. She knows he’s thinking back to the young woman unconscious in a little room on the Falcon with inadequate medical equipment barely keeping her alive.

“She’s a maintenance worker. She helped me with the tracking device.”

Rey at least knows about the tracking device. She received a quick rundown of all that happened from General Organa, but she still feels like she is missing out on some details. But still, from what Rey has gathered Finn woke up while the First Order was pursuing the Resistance, and from the rumours she has heard it seems that Finn and Rose had become a couple during that short time, and Finn’s constant place at Rose’s bedside would indicate as such.

She’s not jealous per say. She loves Finn, and she’s certain that Finn loves her in return, but not in a romantic way. It’s just… she’s not certain how Rose will fit in and that’s concerning, especially seeing as Rey has not been able to have a proper talk with Finn till this very moment. “Are you two together?”

Finn looks panicked and guilty and also very confused. He thinks it over carefully, which leads Rey to believe the situation is not as black and white as she was led to believe. When he responds, he does so carefully, as if he wants to make sure each word is said without causing offense. “I care about her, but… I don’t think I love her.”

Interesting. But Rey can see that Finn is unsettled by that and she wants to help him. “That’s fine.”

Those words seem to unlock something in Finn. “But she said that she loves me! And I keep going over and over it in my mind, and I don’t really see how, you know?”

Finn looks at her incredulously, but Rey can only shake her head. Finn continues. “And well, I started thinking, and I’m starting to realize there are things that I missed out on growing up. Like what does love even mean?”

Rey feels like laughing but manages to hold it in knowing it would cause more harm than good in this conversation. Love is not a subject she is well versed in. “Beats me. I grew up alone my whole life.” She pauses and thinks it over, desperately searching for something that might help. “Though, I do remember an old man saying that when you’re in love with someone they are the person you want to be with most… if that helps?”

Finn looks at her blankly. “No.”

That causes them to both crack up. Rey then tries a different approach.

“Okay, well if you don’t like her I’m pretty sure that’s okay. Just tell her when she wakes up.” The moment those words come out she wishes she can take them back. Finn’s face falls and he looks so upset that Rey’s heart breaks a little bit.

“I don’t even know if she’s going to wake up.”

And it’s true. With all the Resistance doctors now dead and without the medical equipment it seems hopeless and there aren’t many places that will be willing to help their little band of rebels anymore. Still, she knows that they are doing everything they can to get help. Poe is running through all his resources and communications to find a way to save Rose’s life. And she’s seen Poe at work. If there ever is a man who will do anything for Finn, it’s Poe. Watching Poe she starts to understand what it means when a person loves another. She doesn’t tell Finn though, partly because she hasn’t had time to, but also because she thinks this is something Finn should figure out on his own. She wonders how he’ll react when he does.

For now, she deals with the matter at hand. “Finn, she’ll be fine. I can already tell that she’s a fighter, and we’re going to PeitMet to find a doctor who can help her.” One of Poe’s resources has finally come through, and though PeitMet is said to be more leaning towards the First Order they are getting desperate at this point. The least they can do is check it out. Rey isn’t so optimistic that they are actually going to get help, but she keeps those thoughts to herself. There is always room for a miracle. “And once she wakes up, just talk to her. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Finn looks down at his hands for a moment before looking up with a small smile. “Yeah, you’re right. What would I do without you?”

Rey smirks. “Who knows?” She then pauses and truly looks Finn over. She can see the tension in his body and knows that Rose isn’t his only problem. “But really, how are you feeling?”

Finn is quiet for several moments then gets up and approaches the window. He seems almost angry as he looks out at it. “I’m useless.”

“What?” Rey asks, alarmed.

“Everything I do leads to disaster.”

“What are you talking about?” Rey asks growing more and more concerned.

“When I woke up I tried to go and find you, but then I was stopped. I tried to stop the tracker to give the Resistance a chance to escape, but then I was stopped again. I stupidly parked the escape pod in an illegal area and was put in jail because of it. I tried to stop the battering ram from blasting open the door and I couldn’t even do that. Everything I do ends in disaster. I should have just remained a Stormtrooper, would have been more useful there.” The words just keep pouring out of Finn and Rey stares at him in shock. This can’t really be how he feels about himself, right? He keeps talking. “Wait, no, guess what? I wasn’t even that good of a Stormtrooper either. Do you want to know why?”

Rey shakes her head.

“Because I was too empathetic!” he yells. “What use is an empathetic Stormtrooper?”

Rey has to stop this, so she stands up and approaches him calmly placing a hand on his arm. “Finn, you are not a Stormtrooper. And you are definitely not useless.”

“I can’t do anything right.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

They stare at each other, and Rey hopes, prays that her belief and love for Finn shines through her eyes as much as it fills her body. She herself looks into the eyes of a young, lost man who has only known pain and suffering, and she hopes, oh how she hopes, that one day she’ll look into his eyes and see something else, something happier because that is what he deserves.

…

Kylo Ren looks over the new developments for his upcoming weapon. There are many faults to it… too many faults. It is taking too long to complete and the thought spoils Kylo Ren’s mood.

Pushing the documents away he sits back in his chair and glares out the window. As become a habit of his, he reaches out through his Force bond to try and connect with Rey. He is desperate to see her again, to hear her.

As always, he is met with nothing. Ever since she had closed the Falcon door on him he has not been able to contact her. It infuriates him to no end.

He stops trying knowing it will just continue to drive him insane. Instead he just stares out the window contemplating the vastness of space.

“Where are you Rey?” he asks.

The space has no answer.

…

Poe stares ahead at PietMet, the planet drawing ever nearer. He prays that this is the place where they will be able to find medical help, or at least better supplies. Judging by C3PO’s analysis Rose won’t last much longer without proper help. He can’t let that happen.

Leia enters the cockpit and Chewie quickly gets up offering her the co-pilot’s seat, and she sits down gratefully. Poe keeps his attention out the window despite feeling her stare. He knows he won’t like the conversation they are about to have.

“I still think this is a bad idea.”

Poe grits his teeth, but manages to swallow down the retort that is quick to come to his mind. “I know, but-”

“But,” Leia interrupts, “you are right, we need to do this.”

Poe looks at her in surprise.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Leia scoffs, “I know what it feels like to do reckless things for love.”

Poe swallows uncomfortably hating how transparent he is.

“Besides,” Leia continues, “with the Resistance as it is we’ll need people like Rose.”

“I agree,” Poe says, “that’s why I’m doing this.”

Leia gives him one of her patented looks, and Poe knows that there is no fooling her. “Convince yourself all you want, but you have always been like a son to me, and you can’t fool a mother.”

Poe feels a lump grow in his throat. He feels the same way about Leia too and it feels nice to be able to know that the sentiment is mutual.

They enter PietMet’s atmosphere and Poe returns his attention back to the controls. With careful maneuvering he lands the Falcon on one of the many landing docks that line the capital. “Right, well if all things go well I’ll see you in a bit,” Poe says as he gets out of his chair and pulls on his leather jacket. BB8 rolls over beeping, excited to be able to get out of the ship once again. They had been in it for far too long now.

Leia just hmms in response, frowning down at a data pad. Poe tries not to feel a bit hurt by that as he coms the others to meet him at the ship’s entrance. As he is about to leave, Leia calls out to him.

“Poe, I love you, be careful.”

Poe turns around and smiles fondly at her. “Don’t worry, I always am! Love you too.”

They share a smile, though Poe is a bit concerned to see the tightness around her eyes, as if she knows something that he does not and it saddens her, but Poe pushes such thoughts from his mind. She is just worried, and not without good reason — they are going on a mission to find a doctor on a planet practically in the pocket of the First Order. If any mission is going to spell disaster it’s this one.

Poe quickly jogs down the hallways with BB8 at his heels and meets up with the others. Both Rey and Kaydel are dressed in protective rain gear, but Finn just has on his same cream coloured shirt. C3PO opens the door and one glance outside reveals the horrible weather — rain pouring down like it hasn’t rained in months. It’s quite a mess.

Without saying a word, he pulls off his leather jacket and hands it to Finn.

“You don’t have to do that,” Finn says.

“It’s okay buddy, I’ve got more.” It’s not exactly a lie. Back on Yavin 4, he does have a couple extra jackets, but the one he’s giving to Finn now is the last that he’s got with him. Finn doesn’t need to know that though.

Finn takes the jacket, albeit somewhat reluctantly and Poe flashes him a wide smile before getting down to business. “Okay, so as we know this planet, especially the capital, is known for their medical facilities. That being said, last year the government made a deal with the First Order, so they won’t exactly be the most welcoming of hosts. However, I made contact with an old friend of mine and they assured me that they can find someone who will help us. If luck is on our side, it should be a quick in and out.”

“How do we know they won’t be First Order spies?” Kaydel asks.

“We just have to hope they aren’t,” Poe says, and he knows it doesn’t sound very convincing, but they are running out of time. Rose needs medical help and fast. He looks over at Finn, and Finn of course understands.

“We have to try,” Finn says.

Rey shrugs her shoulders, her staff strapped to her back. “Let’s do this.”

“Alright,” Poe says and hurries out into the rain.

Within seconds he is soaked through and almost regrets giving Finn his jacket. Almost. He’s been through worse.

The streets are empty, most likely due to the weather and only covered land transporters race on overhead. There are, however, a huge amount of camera droids slinking around the city which is cause for concern. He keeps his head down and picks up his pace. A look back at the others shows that they are doing the same.

They arrive at the meeting spot without any holdups except for being drenched and Poe is thankful to see that someone is already waiting for them there.

It is a man with greying hair and well-dressed clothes. When he spots them he walks over, a droid following behind him to keep him from getting wet. Poe is immediately on the alert. Something isn’t right.

Poe comes to a stop, causing the rest to stop behind him. The man approaches, looking them over with a detached expression.

“You with the Resistance?” he asks.

“Who are you?” Poe counters.

“I am Doctor Knot, I’ve heard you need medical assistance,” he says.

“From who?”

Doctor Knot’s eyes narrow. “From your contact.”

“Which is?”

Behind him he hears Rey whisper: “We have to get out of here.”

“We have to get a doctor,” Finn responds.

“We’re not going to find one here,” Rey retorts and sadly Poe is of the same mindset. This was not how this meeting was supposed to take place.

“Guys!” Kaydel warns.

Poe glances over at her to find her staring up at the sky. A quick glance up reveals Four First Order ships arriving just outside of the atmosphere. Great.

“Back to the ship,” he shouts, already turning around, but then freezes when he sees Doctor Knot drawing out a blaster and pointing it at Poe.

“I don’t think so,” he says and Poe wants to curse. Couldn’t just this one thing go right just this once? Couldn’t it?

Out of the corner of his eye he can see four others come out from the shadows, each holding out a blaster. They are trapped.

“You contacted the First Order?” Poe snaps at Doctor Knot, if he even is a doctor. Who knows what this man did for a living.

“There is quite a prize for your heads,” the man sneers, and of course there is. At this point Poe pretty much loses it.

“So it’s all about money for you huh?” he roars. “Can’t have a single sense of decency in your bones.”

“Poe…” Finn says, but Poe isn’t listening.

Poe steps forward, to do what he doesn’t know, when a shot rings out. At first Poe thinks it is one of their attackers who shot and his mind immediately goes to Finn, but then he sees the hole in Doctor Knot’s chest, and the man drops to the ground. Four more shots ring out in quick succession and suddenly they are no longer held hostage.

A man, well built with tanned skin, short black hair, and monolids steps into view. He is caring a blaster in his hands and a big backpack on his back. “Sorry I’m late, had to get rid of my tail,” he says.

“Who are you?” Poe asks, skepticism rampant after what has just taken place.

“Doctor Tru. I’m the one you’re supposed to be meeting, but then your contact – Lenny — got arrested and well, you don’t last long in these prisons without revealing something. Sorry about that.”

Sirens start blaring out around them and though Poe wishes he could question Doctor Tru further he knows they don’t have time.

“Let’s go,” Kaydel calls, and they all start running down the street, Doctor Tru included.

“Chewie, get the Falcon ready!” Poe yells into his com as he is running. Their only chance is if they can leave as soon as they board, but still, they have four First Order ships waiting for them. Things aren’t looking good.

An explosion rings behind them. Some of the Law enforcement have arrived. Finn turns around and blasts the nearest droid out of the air. They are almost there.

With one final burst of speed they manage to make it onto the Falcon and it lifts off right away before the entrance has even properly closed.

Not even sparing time to gasp for breath, Poe gets up and starts running down the halls to the cockpit. Rey right behind him.

…

Sam gasps for breath, not quite believing that he had actually done that. He just killed five people. As a doctor that is in direct violation of everything he was taught. Yet, if he hadn’t done so the Resistance would be down four key personal, and that is something that Sam knows can’t happen. If there is even a chance for the galaxy to be free again they need them.

He also can’t believe that he is in the infamous Millenium Falcon. The stories told about this ship are legendary. Of course, being on the ship isn’t the dream occasion that he wishes it could be. While the other three run off, the young woman with blond hair remains and she holds a blaster up at him.

“Who are you?”

The ship shudders as a blast bounces against the ship and they both stumble a bit as they try to steady themselves. The woman still keeps a blaster pointed at him though.

“Sam Tru, I’m a doctor. Or was a doctor before they fired me for not following the First Order. Look.”

He pulls down his sleeve to show the medical mark doctors from PietMet wear to show they have passed their exams.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” she asks, staring at him harshly, he can see that she has lost many in this war and will not bend easily.

He wracks his mind to think of a way to convince her, but in the end he only has the truth and he hopes that’s good enough. “The First Order killed my whole family. There is no way I could share loyalty with them.”

The woman doesn’t move, looking him over with harsh eyes. Sam keeps his face open and honest. He isn’t lying and he does want to help, he hopes they will let him.

“Lenny told me about your dire need for medical assistance. I can help with that, and if it doesn’t pass muster then by all means do whatever you want with me.”

He desperately hopes that whatever medical help they need, he can provide it. While he has managed to pack a lot of his stuff, there are still some things that he doesn’t have.

She stares at him for a couple of moments longer then finally lowers her blaster. “Fine, follow me.”

She turns and starts down a hallway. Sam can’t help the tiny sigh of relief that escapes him before hurrying to follow her.

They arrive in this little room where there’s a patient hooked up to some machines and the ship swerves so suddenly that everything starts flying. The patient’s bed lurches and Sam dives over it to keep the patient from falling off the bed. Machines break loose and medical alarms start blaring.

First day with the Resistance and things are already a bit too exciting for his tastes. He knows better than to complain.

…

Rey enters the cockpit right after Poe and quickly slides into the co-pilots seat while Poe and Chewie switch spots.

“What do we have?” Poe asks as he grabs onto the controls. Chewie moans and Poe looks over at Rey for a translation.

“Four First Order Ships. One currently on our tail and the rest waiting for when we leave the atmosphere,” Rey replies and looking out the window she can see the ones waiting, it seems like they are mocking them.

Poe swerves the ship sharply avoiding a bunch of fire, but the First Order ship is back on their tail in no time.

“Well, we can’t stay down here. PietMet is getting their shooters ready.”

Sure enough, on the planet giant shooters were protruding from the ground and aiming at the Falcon.

The com crackles to life and Finn’s voice comes through. “Okay, I’m at the gunner. Let’s start taking these First Order scum down!”

From Rey’s data scanner she can see the First Order start swerving out of the way from the fire, but she knows it won’t be enough. Not with the planet also starting to shoot at them as well.

“Okay, we’re going up,” Poe says, already pulling up the ship.

“How are we going to avoid those ships?” Rey demands.

“Let’s hope my skills are good enough,” Poe mutters.

Behind them Chewie moans, and Rey shares the sentiment. Poe may be the best pilot in the galaxy, but there are limits to everyone’s ability, and Rey has a sinking feeling this was going to be his limit.

As expected, once the Falcon exits PietMet’s atmosphere they are surrounded by First Order ships who begin firing immediately. Poe starts swerving the ship left and right to avoid the fire and try to get away, but there isn’t really a chance of that happening.

Now Rey is normally fine with crazy flying, but this is taking things to a next level. She is supposed to be shooting the front guns at the ships, but she can barely even see out of the window. Judging by Finn’s cursing over the com, he is in the same boat.

The sad thing is that without Poe’s mad flying they would have been blasted out of the sky in seconds.

“Poe! I can’t shoot anything like this,” Finn calls through the com.

“I know buddy, hang on!” Poe retorts and spins the Falcon around again. Rey is lucky she managed to strap herself in before they left the atmosphere. Chewie and BB8 are not so lucky and both go tumbling. They both beep and moan indignantly.

“Shut up you two,” Poe calls out, eyes staring intently out the window.

“They’re right,” Rey mutters, but Poe ignores her. She doesn’t blame him.

She finally manages to get a hit on one of the ships, but the resulting blast is so small it’s almost laughable. It is at this point that Rey realizes that they are not going to get out of this alive despite Poe’s piloting skills.

“What is going on?” Commander D’Acy demands through the com. The rest of the crew must be extremely worried and confused at this point.

Poe scowls, but manages to respond. “Four First Order ships have surrounded us. We need to-”

The ship rocks violently, spinning out of control. Rey immediately knows that that they have been hit and badly. She can also feel the deaths, but she forces herself not to think about it.

“DAMN IT!” Poe yells, trying to regain control of the ship. A console on the panel starts beeping. Both Poe and Rey look at it in dread.

“Rey, I’m going to need you to go take care of that. BB8 go with her, here’s a com.”

Rey nods and takes the communicator, rushing out of the cockpit with BB8 right at her heels, out of the corner of her eye she sees Chewie take over the controls.

She is almost at the engine room when she sees him. Kylo Ren.

He is standing there right in the middle of the hallway, dressed as he was in her dream.

This is not real. This is not real.

He holds out his hand to her, the corners of his mouth quirked up in a weird smile.

The ship shudders and Rey is jolted back to reality. She doesn’t have time for this. With a growl she runs at him and right before she reaches him he disappears. She forces herself to keep running down the hallway without looking back.

At the engine room Rey looks around in horror. Sparks are flying everywhere and it is just a mess. She frantically starts pulling at some wires and flipping switches while BB8 rolls over and locks itself into the system. There is another bang and a bunch of sparks and when that dies down, Rey stares at the fried console in horror.

Rey switches on her com and listens for a moment to the conversation happening:

“Finn, how’s it going down there?” Poe asks.

“Doesn’t look good,” Finn replies.

“Come on baby, hold in there,” Poe pleads -- to the ship or to Finn, Rey’s not certain.

Rey knows she can’t keep quiet any longer. “Energy switch is totally dead. If we can get to some dead air, I might be able to get us enough juice to hop to lightspeed.”

“There is no dead air,” Poe replies.

“Well there’s not much I can do!” Rey cries looking around.

“Rey, I’m going to need you to come up with a miracle,” Poe responds, and really that is hardly fair of him.

Still, she looks around in panic, wracking her brains for something anything. A small idea comes to her and she runs over to the far side of the room and starts pulling off panels.

“I’ve got two ships coming in on the upper right. Can you lift the ship up a bit?” Finn asks through the com.

“Not really,” Poe replies, desperation apparent in his voice.

Rey scrambles with the wires, but even as she starts reconnecting different circuits, she knows she isn’t doing much good.

“I don’t have a good angle,” Finn says.

“I know buddy, I’m sorry. Just let m-”

Another huge jolt runs through the ship and Rey goes flying, BB8 with her and they both crash into the far wall. That’s going to leave bruises.

As she gets up she hears Poe say four words that makes her blood run cold: “Guys, we’re going down.”


	2. Unexpected Aid

“Guys, we’re going down,” Poe says through the com and Finn knows it’s true. So this is the end of the Resistance. Hopefully someday someone will be able to rise up against the First Order. With the way things are going, he doesn’t hold out too much hope of that happening.

The four First Order ships surround the Falcon which is now just listing off into space, smoke trailing behind it. It is an easy kill.

Then, without warning, eight old ships arrive at their location and start shooting at the First Order ships. Suddenly the odds have somehow turned and it is the First Order who are scrambling.

“What is going on?” Finn whispers. He receives no answer, he doubts his voice was even registered in the com.

The old ships easily take care of the First Order ships, leaving nothing but blasted dust particles in their wake.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Poe yells over the com, and Finn whoops in agreement.

He quickly scrambles out of the gunner room to go up to the cockpit to see if Poe has any more information. In doing so he misses seeing one TIE fighter launching out of the last First Order ship before it is destroyed and speeds off into space.

As he reaches the cockpit, two of the old ships flank the Falcon and send out stabilizers to hold the ship still.

“Who is that?” Finn asks.

“No idea,” Poe replies.

“Why have we stopped moving?” Rey asks over the com, “our energy systems are too low.”

“Rey you should come up front,” Finn tells her still looking out the window. The ships were unlike anything he has ever seen before. They are old and covered with these strange markings and the weapons they carry are a different shape from any ship’s blasters he has seen before.

Rey and BB8 enter the cockpit and Rey gasps as she takes in the ships. Finn watches as her eyes shine with wonder and curiosity.

INCOMING MESSAGE appears on the screen and Poe glances over at them before accepting it. A man and a woman appear as a blue holo image in front of them.

The woman speaks first. “Greetings. Are you part of the Resistance?”

“What’s left of it,” Poe answers. Finn is surprised that Poe revealed their identity so quickly, but he then supposes it’s kind of obvious. “Who are you?”

“We are the Qu’mquai people,” the man says, “we would like to have a word with your leader. Permission to come aboard?”

“The who?” Finn asks Poe under his breath.

Poe shrugs his shoulders. “Someone inform General Organa.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth Commander D’Acy enters the cockpit visibly upset. “General Organa is dead,” she gasps out.

Everyone freezes. The first thought that runs through Finn’s head is that it’s a joke, for what else could it be? General Organa couldn’t be dead. It wasn’t possible.

“No.”

Finn turns and sees Poe’s face, paler than he’s ever seen it before and a strange gleam crossing his eyes. With a twinge of pain Finn can see how much General Organa meant to Poe, and he knows nothing good is going to come out of this.

Poe scrambles out of his chair and races out of the room.

“Wait!” D’Acy calls after him, but it’s pointless. All the rest of them can do is run after Poe; all of them forgetting about the Qu’mquai people waiting for their response.

They follow Poe as he races down the hall and reaches the west side of the ship. There is an emergency door blocking them from entering, but there is a window on it and through the window Finn can see that part of the ship has cracked open. The vast, ever expanse of Space is visible within that section and there are three bodies floating around in what is left of the room. One of them is General Organa.

Poe freezes in front of the window and just stares out of it for several moments as if not comprehending what he is seeing. Finn can relate.

Then, idiotically, Poe goes to release the emergency door trigger. Thankfully, D’Acy leaps forward and stops him.

“You can’t.”

“Get out of my way!” Poe screeches, his eyes have taken on a manic gleam now bordering on desperation and Finn’s heart reaches out for him. From what little he knows General Organa was like a mom to him. He can’t imagine what Poe is going through right now.  

“We don’t have air pressurizer shields anymore,” D’Acy says, still struggling with Poe. “If you open that door we all die.”

That seems to finally get through to Poe for he stops short. As if in a daze he turns to stare out the door’s window again, his face distraught. General Organa’s body continues to gently float in the room next to them, so close yet so far away. It doesn’t seem real.

“She… she can’t be,” Poe mutters to himself. He stumbles backwards as the realization washes over him, then he crumples.

Finn can only watch as Poe crashes to the ground making these weird gasping sounds, his face etched in pain and mouth open as if he's trying to scream, but can’t get the sound out. It’s painful to watch.

C3PO arrives, ever having the best timing. “There are people on the com wishing to speak with General Organa. Where is she?”

“She’s dead,” Rey says, and for the first time C3PO doesn’t have any words.

As Finn looks around he can see that no one is moving, no one is even acknowledging C3PO’s message. He knows it’s the last thing anyone wants to do, but they are at war and the only reason they are alive right now is because an unknown fleet of ships decided to save them. They can’t leave them waiting.

“Who’s in charge now?” Finn asks, though he believes he already knows the answer.

He looks over at D’Acy, pleading with her silently to take charge, if only for right this moment, but she just shakes her head. After all, General Organa had recently appointed Poe as an Admiral, while she is still a Commander.

“General Dameron, I believe that’s you,” D’Acy says.

Finn looks down at Poe, who has at least stopped shaking, but now he is just staring off into space, and Finn doesn’t know if that is any better.

“I don’t want it,” Poe whispers and he sounds so broken that it tears at Finn’s heart. Sadly, there is no time for that, and while Poe might hate him forever for this, he needs to take control.

He walks over and lifts Poe up by the lapels of his shirt and forces Poe to stare into his eyes. “I’m sorry, but you have to do this.”

Poe tries to jerk away, but Finn keeps a firm grip on him and makes sure that Poe maintains eye contact with him. He stares into Poe’s eyes and tries to find the leader he knows is in there. He conveys the seriousness of the situation as well, urging Poe to understand that he has to do this.

Whatever Poe sees, it must work, for while the distraught expression still lingers upon his features and will no doubt remain for a long time after he regains some of his resolve. He jerkily nods and straightens up enough so that Finn feels comfortable letting go of him. They maintain another long meaningful look where Finn tries to convey how sorry he is, but Poe looks away first and Finn doesn’t know whether that helped or not.

With a heavy silence they all head back to the cockpit.

The man and woman are still waiting there and even through the holo Finn can tell that the woman is slightly annoyed.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” Poe says, turning into the diplomat he never wanted to be, “but you can speak to me. What is it you want?”

“So you are in charge now?” the man asks, and Finn can see the thousand layers of grief that washes over Poe’s face.

“Yes.”

“We’re sorry for your loss,” the woman says, looking less annoyed now.

“Thank you,” Poe says shortly.

“May we have permission to come aboard?” the man asks.

“Why?”

“We have important information pertaining to the First Order that we would like to discuss with you.”

Poe looks around at the rest of them crowded in the cockpit, all of whom are at a loss at what to do. His eyes land on Finn’s again, but Finn is just as clueless as the others on how to deal with this situation. Finn can see the exact moment where Poe realizes he has to make all the decisions now. It adds an extra layer of weight to him.

He turns back to the holo. “Permission granted.”

They all make their way to the side entrance, and Poe gives a slight nod to D’Acy, who then opens the door. The man and woman are waiting for them and enter, going over and shaking all their hands. They have tanned skin and both of them have long dark straight hair parted into two long braids. Their clothing, though a bit worn is practical. The man has a belt of silver balls around his waist and blaster in a thigh holster. The woman carries a weird cylinder like contraption at her side — sort of like a lightsaber, but not. Though they are both probably no older than mid thirties, they both have weary auras about them that Finn can only too well relate to.

“Greetings,” the man says, “my name is Artero Musqueo and this is my life partner, Pellqua Musqueo. We are both from the Qu’mquai people and have been assigned as the leaders for this mission. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Poe replies, “what exactly is your mission?”

“To help you defeat the First Order,” Pellqua replies. She seems to have more shields around her than her partner, and Finn doesn’t doubt that she is the more dangerous one out of the two.

“Why have you only come forward now?” Poe asks, and Finn would like to know the answer to that question too. They could have really used their help back on Crait.

“We had to ensure the survival of our people first,” Artero says. “We have been dealing with the colonization and subjugation of our people for far longer than the First Order’s existence. We are sorry we couldn’t answer your calls before.”

“You were under the Empire’s control?” Finn asks.

“The Republic’s, then the Empire’s, then the New Republic’s. It never stops.” Pellqua spits out, her expression going dark.

Poe frowns. “The New Republic does have its flaws, but its mandate has always been the freedom for all those within the galaxy-”

“There is much they don’t tell you,” Pellqua interrupts, her eyes blazing, “every form of government has its nasty secrets. The New Republic’s was denying people their right to return to their home planets.”

“How do you plan on helping us?” Rey asks, probably in the hopes of preventing the derailment of this potential partnership. A quick glance at Poe shows that he looks confused. Finn can’t help but feel the same. The First Order had taught Finn that the New Republic was an incompetent form of governance, but not because of that.

Rey’s words catch Pellqua’s attention and her expression softens to something more akin to wonder than anything else. She walks over to Rey and puts her hands on the side of Rey’s head and stares deeply into her eyes. Rey flinches a bit, but Pellqua smiles serenely at her and for whatever reason Rey calms down.

“The Force is strong in you. You have a lot of weight on your shoulders.”

Rey looks at her in wonder. “Do you have it too?”

Pellqua shakes her head. “There are many different ways people respond to the Force. I’m not sensitive like you are, but I can tap into it’s energy in a different way. Though… I sense a darkness in you. Darkness that shouldn’t be there.”

Rey pulls back, her eyes flashing as she glares at Pellqua. Strangely enough, Pellqua doesn’t seem offended by this, but merely looks over Rey as if she’s concerned for her. “My apologies.”

Rey looks away and Finn can practically see her putting her shields up. Finn can tell that she is hiding something, but while he wishes he could ask her what, he knows now is not the time.

He looks back at Pellqua to find her now looking at him with intense interest. “Oh, wow… it’s strong in you too.”

Finn frowns, looking behind him to make sure that it is really him she is talking about. Unfortunately, he is the only person standing in her line of sight. A quick glance at Rey and Poe shows them to be just as confused as he is. 

“I’m not Force sensitive,” Finn says, for if there is one thing that he knows about himself, it is that.

Pellqua looks him over bemusedly. “Are you sure about that?”

Finn doesn’t like this conversation one bit. He was a born and raised Stormtrooper, there is nothing special about him, and it feels all too much like she is teasing him. He nods sharply, teeth grinding together.

Pellqua’s amused expression drops a bit and she seems more sad than anything. “Well you are right in a way. It’s locked up in you, unable to release. Dormant you could say, but it does protect you. Why else do you think you were able to break out of your Stormtrooper conditioning so easily?”

Finn has no idea how to compute that information, so he does what he has done so often during his years as a Stormtrooper — he dismisses the information. After all, it can hardly be true.

To Finn’s surprise, Poe goes over to stand beside Finn, though a step forward as if trying to protect him. “How do you know that?” Poe all but growls.

Artero laughs. “Everyone has heard of the ex-Stormtrooper who defected from the First Order and saved the galaxy. But that is not what we came here to discuss.”

Just then the ship groans and the lights flicker off for a few seconds before coming back on, though much dimmer.

“We’re on the last drags of power. Our oxygen supply is probably going to go out soon,” Rey says.

That doesn’t sound good.

“We can lead your ship to Utmiqua and land there so you can make repairs. We can continue our discussion there,” Pellqua says.

“Utmiqua?” Poe says, “but that planet’s controlled by the First Order.”

“Yes,” Artero says.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” Poe demands.

“No,” Pellqua says throwing Poe a harsh glare. “We can get through their sensors undetected. It is only where we land that we will have to deal with a contingent of First Order soldiers that control the city near there. I’m sure your people can handle a little fight.”

“Why can’t we go somewhere where we don’t have to fight?” Poe asks.

“We need to go there,” Pellqua says, “it’s imperative.”

“Why?” Poe demands.

“To be honest, I’m not quite sure,” Pellqua says.

“You can help us free a city from the First Order. Isn’t that reason enough?” Artero asks.

“But we have to fight!” Poe says, and Finn can hear the desperation in his voice.

“You are the Resistance. I thought that is what you do,” Artero responds.

“Poe, are you okay?” Finn asks, though he knows he isn’t. Poe looks over at him and his eyes are so haunted that it’s actually frightening.

“We have already lost too many people,” Poe whispers.

“So have we,” Pellqua says, “that doesn’t mean we can stop.”

Silence reigns out upon those words and all eyes fall on Poe. It is his decision now. Finn has no idea what he’ll choose.

…

Kylo Ren stands beside Hux, sending hate waves to the General with every thought. The despicable man is probably too wrapped up in his own cocky narcissism to even feel it. The doors at the far end open and in walks a Stormtrooper and a Commander.

“Sirs?” the Commander says. Kylo Ren should probably know his name, but he can’t bring himself to care. He will most likely die soon anyway and be replaced by another idiot.

“Yes?” Hux sneers turning around. Kylo Ren continues staring out into space.

“Stormtrooper TO-0934 has a mission report.”

“Speak,” Hux says.

Kylo Ren turns around, his interest piqued. This was the mission that were sent off to kill the final members of the Resistance. He didn’t realize the ships were back; he must start paying more attention to these things.

He feels a stab of… something at the thought of Rey being dead and a bit surprised that he didn’t feel her demise, but he pushes that all to the side. He is now about to reign supreme over the galaxy without anyone getting in his way.

“We failed the mission. Eight unknown ships arrived and defeated ours.”

Kylo Ren freezes. He has to have misheard that. It was four ships and a whole kriffing planet against one bloody garbage can of a ship. There is no way there could have been a mission failure.

“What eight ships?” Hux barks, “the New Republic? From what star system? They cannot be unknown!”

“I’m sorry sir. I do not know,” the Stormtrooper replies.

Kylo Ren reaches into its mind and realizes that it is speaking the truth. So that is why he felt nothing, because nothing happened. Pure unaltered fury races through him. Without even thinking of it, he reaches out a hand and force chokes the Stormtrooper. “You had one mission!” he screams, “One mission! How hard is it to destroy one measly ship?!”

He squeezes the Stormtrooper for a few seconds longer, wishing to end this measly thing’s life, but then gets a better idea. He drops the thing and stares in morbid amusement as the thing gasps for breath. “Turn on the video feed,” he orders.

A soldier turns on the feed so that all the Stormtroopers throughout the system can see him. Kylo Ren turns to the camera. “This is what happens to those who fail me,” he hisses, pointing to the Stormtrooper.

He pulls out his lightsaber and storms up to the Stormtrooper, slicing it in half. For a couple of seconds he lingers over the body, staring at it with disinterest.

“I want the production schedule for the weapon amped up,” he snarls, then storms out of the room. He will find the Resistance and he will kill every last one of them.

…

Sam and Kaydel carefully clean up the medical machines. Sam grimaces as he looks over the contraptions. Most of them were already running on their last legs before the attack and he doubts they will even work now.

He looks over at the patient, Rose. She is still breathing, but she is deathly pale and her breaths are more stutters than anything else. He hopes he can help her.

He sets down the machine he was hopelessly trying to fix and rummages through his backpack till he finds his scanner. He goes over to Rose and hovers it over her body, watching the screen as the data starts compiling.

“Can you fix her?” Kaydel asks coming over and staring at the screen.

“Depends on your definition of fix,” he replies, “with the equipment and medicine I have I can wake her up, but…”

“But what?”

“She’ll be in incredible pain. It would be better to leave he unconscious and provide her with proper treatment.”

“Okay then-”

“I don’t have the medical equipment necessary for that.”

Kaydel huffs. “Are you kriffing kidding me? So what do you suggest? Just leave her like this?”

Sam looks down at his readings and grimaces. “I don’t think she will last much longer if we don’t do something.”

“Which means…?”

“Currently our best option is to wake her up,” Sam says. He hopes Rose will forgive him for this.

“How bad is this pain we’re talking about?”

“Bad. But I can give her some adrenaline so she won’t be hit with it right away. The pain will be long lasting though, she’ll most likely have to deal with it for the rest of her life.”

Kaydel grimaces. “Well with the rate we’re going, we won’t last long anyways so that should hardly matter. Wake her up.”

Sam nods and prepares the injections he needs. He checks her over one last time then starts the process of waking her up.

It doesn’t take long, less than five minutes before the medicine flowing through her body forces her back to consciousness. She lets out a pained gasp, then her eyes flutter open. Beside Sam, Kaydel lets out a breath of relief.

Rose turns her head and stares at the both of them, blinking in confusion. Sam can only imagine the panicked thoughts running through her mind.

“Where am I?” she asks, voice hoarse.

Kaydel quickly goes and helps her sit up handing her a cup of water. “We’re on the Falcon. This is Doctor Tru, he helped you recover.”

Well, Sam wouldn’t put it like that. It was more like he forced her body into action again, and without the delicate concoction running through her veins right now she would be screaming in pain.

“How long have I been out?” Rose asks shakily.

Sam looks over at Kaydel, not sure even he wants to know the answer to that question.

“Almost two weeks,” she says.

Sam grimaces, though such an injury requires lots of rest to recover Rose hadn’t been receiving the proper medical treatment and he no doubt knows that what treatment she was receiving was doing more harm than good.

At Rose’s panicked look however, Sam knows he can’t tell her that. “Standard for the injury you sustained. Though, I wouldn’t recommend pulling such a stunt again,” he jokes. It falls flat.

“Is Finn…?” Rose asks.

“He’s fine,” Kaydel assures, and Sam wonders if this Finn person is Rose’s partner. Rose definitely looks relieved to hear that he’s fine. “But we’re running on a skeleton crew,” Kaydel continues, “most of the Resistance were killed.”

Rose blanches at that, and before either Sam or Kaydel can do anything about it, she unhooks herself from some of the machines that Sam had set up.

“Hey, no don’t!” Sam tries to warn, but Rose just hops out of the bed and runs out of the room. He catches Kaydel’s smirk as she runs after her and Sam has a sinking suspicion that this is a common practice amongst Resistance members. He certainly has his work cut out for him.

…

Rose hurries through the halls of the Falcon, desperate to find Finn. Two weeks, two kriffing weeks she’s been unconscious and the Resistance is in shambles and she just… ugh!

To make matters worse, her entire body feels sore and she knows that it’s just going to get worse. She can’t think of that now though, she needs to find Finn.

She turns the corner and sees a group of people standing there, and thank the stars! Finn is with them.

“Finn!” she calls out, relief filling her veins. It’s so good to see him actually alive.

“Rose! You’re awake!” Finn exclaims when he sees her, a smile stretching across his face. He runs over and envelops her in a hug. She returns it eagerly, ignoring the stab of pain that runs through her body at his touch.

Finn pulls back and looks her over, worry evident in his eyes. “Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” she lies. She doesn’t want to worry him, besides, “I heard what happened. I can’t… I can’t believe it.”

She desperately looks Finn in the eyes, hoping that what she was told isn’t true. This can’t be the last of them.

She doesn’t like what she sees.

The ship shudders and the lights go out. They don’t come back on. With a jolt Rose realizes the situation is much direr than she was told.

“Where’s General Organa?” Kaydel asks from behind her. Rose also turns and looks at the group of people standing there. Even without the light she can tell their General is missing.

“She’s dead,” Poe says in a blank tone, and Rose’s heart stops. Beside her she can hear the small “no” Kaydel breathes.

This has to be some sort of nightmare, she has to still be in a coma for that is the only thing that makes sense. The Resistance is nothing without General Organa.

“Well, what’s your answer?” a woman Rose doesn’t know asks Poe. Rose looks over at Poe, wishing she knew what was happening, but at the same time not sure she wants to know. To her surprise Poe is looking at her with an odd expression on his face. If Rose were to describe it, she would say it is a frenzied desperation.

He walks over to her and looks down at her, seriousness mixing into the expression. “Can you fight?”

She looks up at him and knows that he needs this answer, knows that he needs her to say yes. She hesitates though because there is so much pain running through her body and she doesn’t know if she can. It keeps growing with each second. But as she stares into Poe’s eyes, she knows that if she says no he will break and from what little she’s gathered since she’s woken up, it’s that if Poe breaks the rest of them will break. She can’t let that happen.

“Yes.”

It’s the answer Poe needs, for he turns to the woman who spoke and nods his head. “Okay, let’s do this.”


	3. Unexpected News

Finn steps out of the Falcon with the others. He can see people start coming out of the other ships as well and there is more of them than Finn anticipated.

Artero pulls out a little holo chip that brings up the planet, he zooms into their position and shows it to them. “Olcrest city is about one mile away from here. They should have noticed us arrive so their First Order surveillance crew will be coming soon.”

“Do your people have weapons?” Poe asks.

“Yes,” Pellqua replies, sending a pointed look over to their people. The Qu’mquai people are already unloading boxes filled with weapons. Finn can’t help but feel that the Resistance looks very unprepared in comparison.

“Right,” says Poe looking slightly embarrassed, “do you usually have a strategy that you go with?”

“We were a peaceful people,” Artero says, “forced to fight out of necessity. The art of war is not our strong suite, we are open to suggestion.”

Poe nods and Finn can see the gears churning in his head. This is his area of expertise. “I would suggest putting your people in groups and spreading out. We’ll try and surround them. Keep close to the ground and be as silent as possible.”

“Like hunting,” Artero muses.

“Exactly,” Poe replies.

“I will pass that on. Is there anything else?” Artero asks.

“Finn?” Poe asks. Finn looks at Poe for a second surprised. What he sees in Poe is trust and respect. Poe values his opinion. It is a strange realization. So few have ever cared what he had to say before. Finn likes it.

Not wanting to screw this up, he looks out at the forest, assessing it. “They will come in lines to cover each other, but their focus will be on the terrain. If you have people that can tree hop it would bring in the element of surprise.”

“Very well, thank you,” Pellqua says. “We have some extra weapons we can lend you if needed.”

“That would be very helpful, thank you,” Poe replies.

“May the Force be with you,” Pellqua says. Finn feels a jolt when he hears that, remembering her words. He quickly pushes them to the side.

“And also with you,” Rey answers.

Pellqua gives Rey an assessing look, like she is wary of what Rey can do. Rey looks uncomfortable by it and Finn can’t help but think of the darkness Pellqua said she saw in Rey. He hopes it’s nothing bad.

After a beat, Pellqua and Artero turn and go back to get their people ready.

“Alright, gather around,” Poe says, bringing Finn’s attention back to the group. It is then that Finn notices how few of them there truly are. Less than twenty people gather around Poe in a semi circle and Finn feels a wave of hopelessness wash through him. This is it, this is all that is left. Poe was right, they have already lost too many people.

He looks over at Poe and can see that he too is drained and worn out, but somehow as Poe looks over the group he manages to gather up some form of bravado and turns into the Resistance leader Finn knows they need.

“We have lost an,” Poe pauses and for a second Finn thinks he is going to break, but he manages to continue on, “integral member of the Resistance today. As some of you know, General Organa unfortunately did not make it.”

Many of the Resistance members look at each other shocked. Finn realizes with a jolt that this is the first they have heard of this. He can see the hope die within them. This isn’t a good start.

“General Organa was a strong, fierce leader who always looked after her people,” Poe continues, a fire now burning in his eyes. “Some of you, myself included, are probably asking yourselves what’s the point? How can we continue on now that our leader is dead?”

Poe pauses, but Finn can see that he is on a roll. Somehow, Finn doesn’t feel so desolate anymore.

“Well to that I say she would have wanted us to fight. To fight so that we can build the world that she envisioned. I know that’s hard to believe right now, but every one of you here have the ability to do that, and that starts today with this upcoming fight. We are going to win this fight today and we are going to win it in her name, same with all the other fights that come after.”

Everyone starts nodding and clapping. Finn can practically feel the hope return to them.

“And at the end of it all, we are going to tear the First Order to the bloody ground.”

Cheers ring up around them. Finn included, and as he watches the Qu’mquai people bring over boxes of weapons he begins to believe that they will actually be able to do this. They just might be able to take the First Order down.

…

While everyone goes over to pick out their weapons, Rose stands to the side. The pain has now become almost intolerable and she has no idea how she’ll be able to fight. She doesn’t even think she’ll be able to hold up a weapon.

She spots Doctor Tru sitting to the side, getting his own blaster ready and goes over to him hoping that he will be able to help her in some way. He glances up when she gets closer and the grimace that spreads over his face tells her that he knows what she is going through.

He better be able to do something about it.

“You’re feeling it aren’t you?” he says.

Rose nods and looks around, eyes landing on Poe who is watching the rest of the Resistance getting ready. Despite his bravado filled speech he looks tired and worried. She doesn’t want to let him down.

“Is there anything…?”

“Just time and rest I’m afraid. You can’t just bounce back from an injury like that,” Doctor Tru says unhelpfully.

“I don’t have time for that,” she hisses, “I promised Poe I could fight.” She also needs this for herself, to show that she can still be useful. She needs to be useful.

Doctor Tru sighs and looks out over the little field, Rose follows his gaze. People are being split into groups already and heading into the forest. There is also a group that are starting to climb the trees. Rose knows this will be a fight where physicality will give one an advantage, and she is not in good physical condition.

“Please,” she says.

A bunch of emotions crosses his features before he bends down and rummages in his bag and pulls out some pills. “I can give you some pain blockers for now, but they won’t last and I strongly advise you to not fight after this. Your body will collapse if you continue to push yourself.”

“Thank you,” Rose says as she takes the pills already knowing that she will not take his advice. Doctor Tru must know this for he shakes his head sadly but turns away. She doesn’t care, as long as she can fight that is all that matters.

She quickly swallows down some of the pills. It takes a minute but to her relief the pain recedes. It doesn’t completely go away, but it’s manageable.

She goes over to the weapons cache to pick out a blaster.

…

Poe watches as Finn picks out a blaster while joking with one of the Qu’mquai people. His eyes are bright, and a smile is gracing his features. He’s alive.

He blinks and suddenly he see’s Leia’s body, floating soundlessly in that room, eyes blank and unseeing. They would never see again.

He gasps and he has to pinch his thigh to bring himself back to the present. He can’t be thinking of such things before a fight.

With rigid steps, he walks over to where Finn is standing and picks up a blaster for himself. Unlike Finn, however, he doesn’t look his over like he should, instead his attention is focused entirely on Finn. He takes in all of Finn’s features, from the edges of his cheekbones to the strong jaw, to those beautiful eyes. He is frantically etching them all into his mind. He refuses to think of why he is doing so.

Most of all, however, he notes that whereas Finn seems calm Poe knows he looks like a tense, restless mess. Poe wishes he had the same composure that Finn has.

“Ready?” Poe asks in a desperate attempt to get his mind out of his thoughts.

“As we’ll ever be,” Finn responds. We. Such a simple word, but it held so much meaning.

Finn looks over Poe’s shoulder and starts smiling. Poe turns and sees Rey come out of the Falcon holding onto her staff. He doesn’t know why she doesn’t have her lightsaber anymore and she won’t say, but he knows she is still incredibly deadly with just her staff. She walks over to where Finn and Poe are standing.

“I’ll go up in the trees,” she says, “Climbing has always been my thing.”

“Be careful,” Finn says, looking her over in concern, but also support. They truly would make a beautiful couple Poe thinks. He pushes away the small spurt of jealousy. It is not his place.

“You too,” Rey says, and pulls Finn into a brief hug. Poe can tell that they kept it brief because they would be hard pressed to let go if they hadn’t. Poe can relate. He wishes he had hugged Leia one last time before going to PietMet. Now he’ll never get the chance.

Rey hurries away and joins the group of people climbing the trees. Finn looks after her in worry and Poe watches Finn like the idiot he is. Rose joins them and Poe quickly adverts his gaze.

“She’ll be okay,” Rose says, also looking after Rey, but placing a gentle hand on Finn’s arm. And they too would make a beautiful couple. It’s almost unfair, but at least Poe knows that whoever Finn chooses, he’ll have a supportive partner and that is all that matters.

“Yeah, I know,” Finn says, but his voice is tight. Poe looks back at Finn and his heart breaks at the worried look in his eyes again.

“Finn?” Poe says before he can stop himself, he doesn’t even know what he wants to say. Finn looks over at Poe questioningly and before Poe can stop himself he pulls Finn into a tight hug. Finn hugs him back, but Poe can feel the confusion coming off him. However, in Finn’s arms once again Poe suddenly feels another wave of crippling terror. They are going into a fight and Poe might lose Finn. The thought alone is intolerable.

“Don’t die on me,” Poe whispers into Finn’s ear. It is such a stupid thing to say, but he has to say it.

Finn pulls back, but he keeps his hands on Poe’s arms and looks him in the eye. His face is dead serious. “I won’t.”

It is not enough, or maybe just enough for Poe simply nods and quickly composes himself, pulling back. He has to be the leader here, that is his job. “Finn, Rose — make sure everyone is ready.” Finn shoots Poe a concerned look, but Poe turns away needing to focus on something else. “Doctor!” he calls out, spotting the PietMet man. “I would like a word.”

The doctor nods and Poe strides over to him.

“Do you need anything?” the doctor asks.

“Can you go into the Falcon and find General Organa’s body and freeze her?” The words taste like lead in his mouth.

He see’s the doctor balk for a couple of seconds but then he gets inline. “Yes sir.”

“Thank you,” he replies curtly and walks jerkily away without a word. It is better that the doctor does it over anyone else. He didn’t know Leia, he won’t be as affected.

It doesn’t make him feel any better about the whole thing.

…

It is actually quite silent in the forest, the Qu’mquai people are very good at hopping from branch to branch without making any noise, and Rey does her best to do the same.

She is worried, how can she not be? She doesn’t want another image of Kylo Ren to appear, and the admittance that Pellqua saw something dark inside of her worries her. During the brief time while everyone had been getting ready she had gone inside the Falcon and done a quick meditation to ensure that her shields against Kylo Ren were still up.

They are in place as always, but then what did Pellqua see, and why is she suddenly having these dreams and visions? Just the reminder of them makes her blood run cold and her concentration falter.

She crouches down on her branch and peers at the growth below to see if there is any movement. So far nothing, but she can sense they are getting closer. There are many of them and all with a common goal. Destroy them. It’s not a pleasant experience.

There is a rustling sound behind her and she turns to see Pellqua land on the branch next to her.

“What happened to your lightsaber?” Pellqua asks. Rey wonders how she even knew she had one.

“It broke,” she replies shortly. She hasn’t told anyone how or why or what really happened. She didn’t even tell General Organa, though maybe she should have. Out of anyone she would have probably known how to make a new one. Now there’s no one left who can teach her.

_Kylo Ren could._

She pushes the voice away. There is no one left who can teach her.

Pellqua looks over her staff looking unimpressed and Rey feels a stab of annoyance run through her. There is nothing wrong with her staff.

“That staff won’t do you much good.”

Rey turns away, but Pellqua comes nearer, taking out a lightsaber like object from her pocket, similar to the one at her side.

“Here, this will work better.”

Rey looks at it. She knows it’s not a lightsaber, but she can’t help but be intrigued as to what it does. She reaches out and takes it hesitantly. It’s light in her hand, but there is no button that opens it up or anything of the sort.

“You flick it,” Pellqua says, and she takes out her own to demonstrate. With a flick of her wrist a staff like weapon snaps out with a weird round shape hole at the top, it is also swirling with a sort of electricity. She flicks it again and it turns into this sort of small spear/knife with the electricity flickering around the blade. One more flick and it goes back to its cylinder form.

Rey has never seen anything like it and has to admit she is impressed. She stares at her own weapon and flicks it, it extends like the other one.

“How?” she breaths.

A crack breaks the moment and Rey looks down to see a large group of First Order soldiers and Stormtroopers make their way through the forest. Showtime.

“Let’s see what you can do,” Pellqua says and Rey looks over to see that she is challenging her. She wants to see what Rey can do with the Force, and Rey feels eager to show off. Show her that the darkness she feels isn’t an impediment, whatever it may be.

She turns her attention back over to the soldiers. They are steadily coming closer scanning the underbrush with their blasters at the ready. Like Finn had said, they don’t look up.

Looking around she spies a tree that looks big and sturdy, but she can feel its decay. It’s dying and it only needs a little nudge. She steadies her mind and concentrates, closing her eyes and reaching out to the Force like Luke had taught her. She feels it surrounding her, feels it everywhere — in the trees, in the wind, in the soldiers below, and in the Qu’mquai people. She can feel how it reacts to Pellqua and understands what she meant when she says she interacts with the Force in a different way. It’s present to her, but she cannot touch it, it is a similar taste as to what she remembered feeling when she had met Maz. She wonders if Maz is also like Pellqua. A question for another day. She can also feel how the soldiers below will never be able to touch the Force, they are not meant to.

For a moment she reaches down to her Resistance companions. She can feel them, Kaydel, D’Acy, Chewie, Rose, Poe, and… oh. Pellqua is right, Finn does have the force. Kriff, he’s teeming with it and she wonders how she has not noticed before, but then she sees why. It is locked so tightly inside of him that she doubts he will ever be able to use it, not with the way it is now. It saddens her and she has no doubt it is because of his Stormtrooper training. She hopes one day he’ll be able to break through.

She returns her attention back to the tree, the old tree that is begging for release. She wills the Force and pulls, pulls at it’s roots, willing them to release their centuries old hold from the ground. She pulls at it’s centre, urging it to feel gravity, urging it to do this one last thing for the galaxy. Finally, she feels it bend to her will and it topples over, falling in a graceful arch and smashing a good two dozen First Order soldiers. The resounding echo of the crash waves through the forest and like that, the battle begins.

The First Order soldiers run around scattered shooting wildly and the Qu’mquai people return the fire with far greater accuracy. Rey watches in amazement as some of the Qu’mquai fighters in the trees have these bows that shoot metal arrows that detonate once they hit the target taking out five or six soldiers in one shot. They put them to good use.

Pellqua swings down from the tree and joins the fight on the ground using her staff like weapon gracefully. It also shoots blasts out of its end, which explains the weird round shape. She joins up with Artero who is also a skilled fighter and moves through the forest swiftly and efficiently using his blaster as his main weapon of choice.

“I’ve got this, get to the city,” he calls out to her and Pellqua nods, scampering up a tree again and hopping through the upper branches towards Olcrest city. Two Qu’mquai fighters join her.

From Rey’s position she can sense Poe, Finn, Rose, Chewie, and BB8 working together. Chewie and BB8 go and trap a bunch of soldiers with BB8 distracting them and drawing them away while Chewie kills them from behind. She can’t help but smile at the cute team they make.

She can feel Rose get separated from the group, but feels her resolve and knows that she’ll be able to handle her own. There is also something else there, but Rey can’t afford to dig deeper.

She can feel Finn resolutely use his sharp shooting skills to pick off the soldiers one by one. She remembers their conversation last night… had it only been last night? Where Finn had thought himself to be useless, he certainly isn’t useless here.

She feels Poe and another Resistance member fighting side by side. She feels Poe’s elation as the other man takes down two Stormtroopers in a row. Feels the other man blush at the compliment—

The breath is knocked out of her as she feels his life leave his body. A blaster shot right through the chest and suddenly his essence is no more. What’s worse is feeling Poe’s exhalation turn to horror. Feels the way he freezes staring at his fallen comrade in shock. She feels the resolve within Poe wavering, can feel the cracks that are already there start to widen. She knows instantly that Poe is barely hanging on and she wonders if this will be his undoing.

“Poe!” Finn’s voice rings out through the forest and Rey can suddenly sense what Finn is seeing. A soldier has snuck up on Poe and is aiming his gun at him. Rey reaches out with her Force, but is too late, the shot rings out.

Thankfully, Finn warned Poe just in time, and Poe is able to drop to the ground, the shot barely missing him. She can feel Poe’s concentration returning.

Rey lets out a breath and then realizes that she is doing nothing up there in the tree besides being a witness. It’s time she got to work.

Rey drops down from the tree and pulls out her staff. She starts fighting the enemies, easily dispatching four of them in a row, the staff feeling like a comfortable addition to her body. She likes it.

She turns, ready to fight off another soldier when Kylo Ren suddenly appears in front of her. She stops short.

“Join me, join the dark side.”

“Leave me alone!” she screams. Why now? Why can’t she be at peace?

“You are on the losing side,” Kylo Ren says with a smirk. “Everyone around you will die if you continue this path.”

He points to the side and Rey turns to see Finn shooting at soldiers. Behind him is another soldier aiming his gun at Finn.

“FINN!” she screams, but it is too late. The blast hits Finn right in the middle of the back where he was injured not too long ago, and he drops down dead.

“NO!” Rey yells, pain coursing through her body.

“Feel that anger.”

She turns to Kylo Ren and hate fills her whole being. She is going to destroy everything about him. She screams, the noise practically inhuman and runs at him.

Before she can reach him, however, an arrow embeds itself into Kylo Ren’s chest and it explodes. Rey stumbles backwards.

The illusion dissolves and Rey realizes that it was just a First Order soldier. She stares at it uncomprehendingly for a second then turns and sees Finn still fighting. He is fine. The relief that courses through her is staggering. It had been a trick, only a trick.

She turns to look back at the body, then up to the trees. A Qu’mquai fighter is up in the branches letting loose bolt after bolt. She feels Rey looking up at her and they share a nod before returning her attention back to the fight.

_That was just a glimpse of what will happen. Stop resisting._

Rey stops in her tracks and breaths deeply for a couple of seconds before becoming focused again. Now is not the time to be listening to voices in her head. She spies more soldiers coming and quickly goes to fight them off.

…

Stay focused. Stay focused. Stay focused.

Poe repeats this mantra in his head as he delves further and further into the forest and the fight. It is the only way he can remain concentrated without taking in the amount of death that’s surrounding him. He should be no stranger to death, it has always been apart of his life ever since he was young. It shouldn’t affect him this much, but it does, oh how it does.

He spies three Stormtroopers in front with their backs to him shooting up into the trees. He sneaks up on them and shoots down them all, and he feels more in control, like he’s got this.

That is until he turns around and sees four Stormtroopers surrounding him all with their blasters up. So this is how he dies.

Four blasts suddenly ring out and the four Stormtroopers drop dead. Finn comes up from behind them looking worried.

“I had it handled,” Poe calls out cockily faking bravado.

Finn’s face clears and he smirks. “Sure you did.”

A shot bursts over their heads and explodes into the tree behind them. They both duck, as another blast rings out.

Before either of them can do anything, Rey leaps over and takes down the soldier with her new staff. Poe wonders where her other staff went.

“Pay attention,” Rey calls out to them frustration colouring her voice. Poe and Finn share a guilty look.

“A little help over here!”

It’s Rose and they turn to see her up on a little hill shooting at something. They all hurry over to see fifteen approaching soldiers. Rose kills off five as they approach. Together they help take down the rest.

A scream echoes out in the air and Poe turns to see a Qu’mquai fighter fall out of their tree and land on the forest floor with a loud thump. The scream stops. Poe feels sick to the stomach.

Stay focused. Stay focused. Stay focused.

Just a little bit more.

…

Pellqua and her two fellow companions jump swiftly from a tree onto the rooftop of the nearest building. They all crawl over to the edge and look out of the city, seeing what they can find. It isn’t good.

Soldiers are pulling citizens out onto the streets and setting them up at intersections, surrounding them with blasters to hold them hostage.

Pellqua looks around and spots the Communications tower. The satellite is no yet up so a signal hasn’t been sent out, but Pellqua know that it can happen at any second. However, right now the bigger concern is the safety of the citizens. They need to draw the soldiers away from the citizens so that they don’t get hurt, or all this will have been for nothing.

She turns to Uin, “go back and get more people. Tell them we need to shut down the Communications system and that the citizens are being held hostage.”

He nods and quickly goes back into the forest, disappearing as silently as he came. “What are we to do?” asks Pleia.

Pellqua looks out over the city and spots a bell tower. That just might work. “Come on,” she says and starts hopping from building to building. As she does so she unleashes some of Artero’s new toys. They buzz off in different directions across the city.

They arrive at the tower and Pellqua takes in the building. It has a spiral staircase, which is not ideal, but it prevents others from coming up in whole blocks. She looks out over the city and estimates that a good two dozen soldiers will come here. The same amount will go to the explosions. She hopes backup will come in time.

She turns to Pleia. “Ready?”

They shrug and get into position. “As ever.”

Pellqua starts ringing the bell. As she had hoped, a bunch of soldiers come running over to investigate. That starts a bloody fight between the two of them and the soldiers. They manage to hold their own for awhile, but then Pleia takes an unlucky shot and they drop, never to move again. At this point, Pellqua knows she has to get out of there.

Hoping that enough time has passed, she presses the button on the device in her pocket, and explosions ring out around the city. That should distract a couple more soldiers, now time for her to get out of there.

She closes her eyes and concentrates, reaching out to the Force to see any rivets in its hold that might lend her a passageway. Internally she groans. She’s too old for this shit, but it’s the only way, so she opens her eyes and shoots at the bell, causing the blaster to ring back and forth between the bell and the wall till the bell starts moving at a reasonable pace. With the angle changed, the blast shoots down and luckily hits one of the soldiers.

 A couple of soldiers have reached the top, but they are too late. Pellqua leaps onto the bell and shoots at its rope. The bell goes flying out of the tower and then starts its descent. While in the air, Pellqua times her take off and jumps right at the right moment into the adjacent building, shooting the window open. She goes crashing through it and gets several cuts and bruises, but she’s alive, and that’s what matters.

…

It seems like the amount of First Order soldiers is falling, perhaps there is an end in sight. Then Finn spots one of the Qu’mquai fighters approaching them.

“Send some of your people to the village and help free the citizens. They can fight too. Also we need to shut down their communications system,” he says.

“BB8, you know what to do,” Poe calls out and BB8 starts rolling through the forest. The Qu’mquai fighter runs off in the other direction.

Thing is, Finn knows all about the First Order’s communications system. This is something he can do. “I’ll go with them,” he calls out and makes to go after BB8.

Poe, however, grabs his arm. At first Finn thinks Poe is going to stop him, which annoys him to no end, but then he sees Poe’s face and his expression holds this weird sort of intensity. It makes his stomach lurch.

“Hey be careful, alright?” Poe says.

It warms something in Finn’s stomach, but now is not the time. “Always,” he replies then runs off after BB8 before he can say something else stupid.

As he runs he spies Artero and his group get pushed into a corner. Finn slows down and goes to help them, but he sees Artero take out one of his silver balls from his belt and throw it at the soldiers. It flashes a bright white and Finn watches fascinated as the soldiers can no longer shoot their weapons. It seems it also locks their own weapons, for the Qu’mquai fighters all quickly scramble up the trees, while arrows from above come raining down on the First Order soldiers.

It’s quite the handy tool and Finn makes a note to himself to talk to Artero about them later.

Finn and BB8 arrive at the city, and they carefully make their way through the streets, doing their best to remain hidden. He sees the citizens being held at blaster point, but he can’t stop now. That will be for the others when they get there.

A bell is ringing out loudly across the city, but Finn doesn’t spare time to inspect it. His eyes are firmly on the communications base. He can see the satellite start to move. He doesn’t have much time.

Finn and BB8 arrive at the back door and take a moment to assess the situation. “Okay BB8 we’re going to sneak in there.”

BB8 beeps indignantly, and Finn pretends that he doesn’t understand the tone of the beeps. “That’s the spirit!”

BB8 beeps again, not sounding happy. Finn ignores it.

BB8 opens the door for them and Finn sneaks in. The place, thankfully, isn’t crawling with people so it is quite easy for Finn to sneak around, only having to kill a couple of unfortunate souls who they come across.

They reach the main communications room in record time and Finn goes to lean against the wall beside the door. BB8 rolls beside him, beeping.

“Shh!” Finn hushes, holding his blaster at the ready. His palms are sweating and his heart is pounding in his chest, but he feels confident. He knows he can do this.

The door opens and out walks a soldier. Finn quickly kills him with his back turned to them, and BB8 manages to catch the door, keeping it open.

Finn jumps into the room and starts shooting fire. All the soldiers are caught off guard, and though Finn doesn’t like it, he’s able to take them all down.

He notices the message is halfway sent and quickly disables it, turning off the satellite. A quick check of the log shows that no previous message was sent out. Now that is a stroke of luck.

Shouts come from below and Finn and BB8 share a look. BB8 quickly enters the system and locks the door, but Finn knows it won’t last long. Still, they have to find something that will work.

Explosions ring out across the city. From Finn’s vantage point he can see the fire blooming up into the sky from at least three different locations. He knows immediately that it’s the work of the Qu’mquai people. It gives him an extra boost of hope.

“BB8, see if you can find a map of this place.”

BB8 rolls over to a different section of the system and plugs in, within seconds it pulls up a map. Finn scans over it hurriedly then pulls out his com.

“There is a weapons cache here on the west side of the city. I’m going to try and break it open and distribute the weapons to the citizens here,” he says to Poe.

“Okay, we’ll meet you there,” Poe replies.

Through the com Finn can here shots being fired and Poe cursing.

“Poe! Are you alright?” Finn asks.

“I can see why you’re a pilot not a ground soldier.” Finn can hear Rose say over the com. He smiles.

“Shut up,” Poe responds.

Finn is about to make some retort to when there is a bunch of shouting just outside of their door. Shooting begins and within seconds the door gets blasted open and soldiers come piling in. Finn has managed to find cover, but he knows his luck has run out. There is no way he can take down a dozen soldiers who are ready for him.

Still he tries to fight them off, and manages to take down two soldiers before they zero in on his location.

An explosion suddenly rings out and all the soldiers drop down. Artero steps through the door, looking around. He spots Finn and smiles. “Need a hand?”

“Man, it’s good to see you!”

“Come on, let’s go,” Artero says and Finn quickly follows him out of the Communications centre. There, Finn takes the lead, taking them to the weapons cache, which is of course guarded by three soldiers, but that is quick work, and the explosions that Pellqua set up, as Artero informed Finn, were doing a good job of distracting others from coming.

With BB8’s help they manage to open the doors and look inside. There is a bunch of weapons in crates filling up the room, enough to arm a whole army. Perfect for getting to the citizens, but the question now is how.

“How are we going to do this?” Finn asks.

“How about we use this beauty?” Artero says, looking around and pointing at a big open truck like vehicle.

“Can you drive it?” Finn asks looking at it dubiously. He doesn’t trust his own driving skills and that thing looks complicated.

Artero grimaces, and Finn doesn’t take that as a good sign. “We’ll see.”

Turns out, Artero is a terrible driver. Once they had loaded the truck Finn hopped in the back, ready to throw weapons to the citizens while Artero drove around. Easier said than done.

The truck swerves to and fro. At one point he manages to crash into a whole pile of crates.

“Can you please watch where you’re going!” Finn shouts to Artero.

“I’m trying!” Artero shouts back as he turns the corner and accidentally knocks into a bunch of First Order soldiers. Well, at least that helped.

There are a bunch of citizens there, staring at them with wide eyes, and Finn quickly grabs some weapons. “Here, help us!”

He throws the weapons, and that seems to get them moving as they all surge forward, eager to help. Artero accidentally turns the truck again, and Finn loses his balance getting knocked off the side.

“Hey!” he calls out, but before he can hop back on a First Order soldier blocks his path.

He aims his gun at Finn, but Finn leaps over instinctively and knocks the gun out of his hands. They grapple together, more just pushing at each other than anything else. More soldiers enter the square, but the citizens now armed with guns take care of them.

Artero tries to get the truck out of its jam, but manages to crash it again, and Finn has to duck out of the way to avoid being hit. He sees Poe, Rose, Chewie and Rey enter the scene and feels a sense of relief to see them still alive.

The First Order soldier is upon him again, and this time there is a knife in his hands. Finn leaps back, but he still manages to cut Finn’s arm. Distantly he hears Poe shout his name, but Finn doesn’t have time for that. He grabs the soldier’s arm and yanks it back, stealing the knife from him. Barely a second later he jabs the knife into its owner’s neck.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees another soldier aiming a gun at him, but they drop down dead thanks to Poe.

Poe’s eyes are wild and he runs toward Finn, grabbing onto his arm and running his hands over it worriedly. “Finn, buddy, are you alright?” he demands, a faint note of hysteria in his voice.

There is a sudden movement at their side and they turn to see Rey cut down a Stormtrooper approaching them. Rose and Chewie shoot down two others.

“Pay attention!” Rey all but snarls, “he’s fine.”

Finn figures it’s best to just change the subject. “Poe! Can you drive?”

Poe flashes a smile. “I can drive anything.”

BB8 beeps.

“BB8 says that’s a lie,” Rey informs Finn.

“No it’s not!” Poe counters. Finn doesn’t care what the truth is.

“Well you’re probably better than Artero. Hey, Artero let Poe drive!”

“Please,” Artero calls back getting out of the driver’s seat and staring at the truck in disgust.

Poe hops into the truck and the rest of them pile into the back. Thankfully, Poe is a much better driver and is able to steer the beast through the streets while the others throw weapons to the citizens and shoot down First Order enemies.

Pellqua suddenly appears and hops into the truck seemingly out of no where. She looks a little worse for wear, but alive and full of fire. Finn maintains his initial impression that she is not someone to mess with and he can’t be more thankful that she is on their side.

Soon most citizens have a weapon and the First Order is rapidly defeated. They have freed the city. Finn can hardly believe it.

As people realize this, cheering starts up and citizens start hugging each other and weeping. They also run up to the Resistance members and the Qu’mquai fighters and hug them as well, along with professing their thanks.

Finn looks over and sees Artero and Pellqua share a kiss and he smiles. He wants that someday.

“Told you I can drive.”

Finn turns to see Poe getting out of the truck, his hair a mess and a smile stretched wide across his face and for a second his heart skips a beat. He ignores it and runs up to Poe, puling him into an energetic hug, which Poe returns just as eagerly.

They both miss the look Rey and Rose exchange behind their backs.

Before they can get into a full-on celebration, one of the citizen’s approaches Finn, looking at him in awe. “Excuse me, may I ask what your name is?”

Finn is a bit weirded out by his look of awe, but complies, “Uhh, Finn.”

“Finn what?” the man asks and Finn has to face the burning embarrassment and reminder that he doesn’t have a last name. That he barely even has a first name.

“Just Finn,” he says, hoping the man will let it drop.

The man frowns, making Finn feel even more terrible about the whole thing, but hurries off. Finn is glad to see him go. Thankfully, Pellqua approaches them face all business so Finn can forget about that little episode.

“We should obtain repairs for your ship as soon as possible. We don’t know when we’ll have to fight again.”

“I can do that,” Rose says.

“I’ll help,” Rey also replies.

At this point more citizens have started to gather around them. Finn may be wrong, but it feels like they are all staring at him specifically, but he must be mistaken.

“Ask them where we can find repairs,” Poe says to Finn.

“Why me?” Finn asks.

“They look like they like you,” Poe replies.

“It’s true,” Rose also inputs, and dammit, Finn wasn’t imagining their interest. It’s uncomfortable and Finn feels like he’s on display. For being an indistinguishable unit for so long, its not a position he wants to be in.

Finn glares at the both of them, but they just urge him forwards so Finn grudgingly does so. He looks at the nearest citizen and tries to look as open and kind as possible, but he feels like a fraud. For kriff sakes! Poe should be doing this, he’s a natural at putting on the charm. Finn knows for sure that everyone can see through his façade. “Is it possible that any of you will be able to provide us with tools and equipment to repair our ship?”

To Finn’s utmost surprise, the person beams and nods excitedly. “We would be more than willing to help the son of Nuobi. I can show you where to find the tools you need.”

“Son of who?” Perhaps this was some sort of cultural thing Finn isn’t aware of.

“Son of Nuobi,” the citizen replies like that explains everything. “You are him, are you not?”

Finn looks back at the others who are all just shrugging or looking confused. So, no help at all. “Uhh, sure?” Finn says.

The citizens around them start whispering excitedly to each other and Finn doesn’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. He desperately hopes this is a good thing.

“If you would like to follow me?” the citizen says. Finn looks back at Rey and Rose.

“You guys want to go with him?”

“Sure,” Rey replies and they follow the citizen through the crowd, all of whom are staring at Finn like he’s some sort of idol. It is weird to say the least.

Another citizen steps forward and bows deeply. Now Finn is extremely weirded out.

“I can show you to the shrine. I’m sure you will want to pay your respects.”

Finn feels like someone is playing a giant joke on him and he keeps waiting for the punchline, but it never comes. He looks over at Poe who only shrugs. Looking back at the citizen he sighs and nods his head. He’s afraid to ask so he doesn’t, but that doesn’t stop him from running a million questions in his head.

The citizen leads them through the city and as they go more and more people start following them till they have a whole procession trailing after them. They are all whispering and pointing at Finn and Finn does not like it.

“Well you are certainly popular,” Poe says looking around.

“Shut up,” Finn growls.

Poe’s eyes suddenly widen and he looks between Finn and the people, his mouth dropping open.

“What?” Finn asks.

“You don’t think-”

“General Dameron!”

Through the crowd comes Doctor Tru, cutting off Poe’s train of thought. Finn’s a bit annoyed, but he’s certain Poe will tell him his thoughts later.

“Ah Doctor, everything alright?” Poe asks.

“I’ve done as you asked,” Doctor Tru says cryptically and Finn glances sharply at Poe. Poe’s face loses its colour and he gets that haunted look in his eyes again. Finn hates that look.

“Thank you,” is all that Poe replies and he faces forward. Finn knows better than to try and bring him back to their conversation from before so instead they walk in silence for the rest of the way.

Their destination turns out to be an old building, that on the exterior looks to be nothing special, but the citizen glances at Finn and smiles so eagerly that Finn knows that appearances can be deceiving.

Before Finn enters the building he is suddenly overcome with this gut feeling of dread. Whatever is inside, he is not going to like. He stops cold and stares, wracking his brain to figure out what could be so awful inside.

“Are you okay buddy?” Poe asks. Finn hates hearing that worried tone directed at him, it seems to be the only tone he hears lately from Poe. He misses the days when they would shout encouragements and cheers at each other. Those were the good old days.

Yes, he knows that was only like a month ago for the totality of like two days, but that is not the point. He straightens up and forces a smile. “Just ramping up the suspense,” he jokes and quickly enters the building before Poe can respond knowing that the joke totally fell flat.

Inside there are candles lit everywhere and like the citizen said, there is a shrine set up. Taking in the shrine, Finn stops short, that dread growing in his gut. The shrine is made up of a holo picture projected up against the wall with several other holos showing stats surrounding it. There are also more candles, flowers, and little trinkets adorning the area. The holo picture is of a man that looks remarkably similar to Finn.

Finn needs to get out of there.

“Nuobi Oswin helped evacuate over three thousand people the day the First Order took over our planet. He died trying to protect our people. We are honoured to give host to his son.”

No. no. no. no. no.

Finn can’t breath. The room is too small. Everything is wrong.

“Finn?”

“I’m… I’m sorry there must be a mistake,” Finn spits out, “that man can’t be my father.”

“But you are,” the citizen argues, “you were given away as a child to the First Order and now you have returned to us.”

“That’s not right,” Finn gasps, backing up. His mind is screaming at him to get out of that room.

“Buddy, you alright? Do you need some air?” Poe asks, but his voice sounds distant to Finn. He can’t concentrate on anything.

He feels hands on his arms, steadying him, but he can’t really compute who they belong to. Through a haze he sees Doctor Tru go up to one of the holo showing stats and scrolls through the data.

“They have his blood information here. I can run a test if you’d like to make certain.”

That is the final straw.

Finn bolts out of the room and onto the street, pushing people out of the way and blindly running down random streets not knowing where he’s going, not caring where he’s going. All he needs to do is get away.

“Finn! Finn, hey buddy! Wait up!”

Gasping for breath Finn stutters to a halt and leans against a wall breathing heavily. Nothing makes sense to him at the moment.

Someone approaches him and gently starts rubbing their hands up and down his arms. It’s comforting and the voice that accompanies it is soothing.

“Hey buddy, it’s okay. Deep breaths, that’s it.”

It takes him awhile to recognize the person as Poe, which shows just how far he was out of it.

“I-I can’t,” he manages to stutter out after a bit.  

“That’s okay buddy. You don’t have to know. You don’t have to do anything.”

“It doesn’t make sense. It can’t be real.”

“Finn, hey, none of that matters.”

“But it does!” Finn snaps pushing Poe away and he starts pacing, trying to make sense of his thoughts. “They think I’m the son of a hero who saved thousands of people’s lives. Thousands! They practically worship him!” The more Finn thinks of it, the more outrageous it all becomes.

“So?”

“So!” Finn cries and he feels something break inside of him, that part that had always believed he once had a family that loved him. “So! If I’m his son, he cared more about saving those people than he did saving me. His own son. Did you not hear them? He gave me away!”

He gave him away. His own dad didn’t want Finn. His own dad could already see how worthless Finn is, even when he was just a kid.

“No,” Poe growls, “don’t think that, whatever you’re thinking no! That’s… you don’t know that.”

But Finn knows. He’s always known. Every Stormtrooper knows it. They don’t teach them it exactly, but it’s sort of implied. You are the waste of the galaxy, the unwanted, the leftover, the pieces that don’t fit. The First Order has given you a purpose and that is to be loyal and obedient and fight for their cause. Die for their cause. Without them you are nothing because you came from nothing, because you are nothing.

Finn has always been nothing. He was a unit, a thing. FN-2187. A number.

But no… not anymore.

“I’m Finn.”

Poe frowns and Finn can see he’s jarred by the change of subject, but Finn needs this reminder for he is no longer that waste of space that his father had no use for. He’s Finn and he is useful, he is wanted, and looking at Poe, he dares to hope that he is loved.

“You’re Finn,” Poe repeats and Finn feels something bloom in his chest. Something warm and incredibly human and Finn wants to soak in it. Finn. It’s a name, it’s his. The only thing that would make it better…

“I don’t have a last name,” he says.

He can tell that Poe is having trouble following the thread of this conversation, but it’s hardly Finn’s fault. He’s kind of going through an existential crisis at the moment.

“Then make one up. You’re lucky, you get to choose,” Poe says.

Finn finds himself getting irrationally irritated by that. “That’s not how it works. You don’t choose your name — you get named, like you named me. Why didn’t you give me a last name?”

And that’s the crux of it. He’s just found out that he’s supposedly the son of this Nuobi guy and that apparently means his last name is Oswin, but Finn doesn’t want that last name. He doesn’t want the name of family that didn’t appreciate or want him. Finn may have his doubts about his usefulness within the Resistance, but he at least now knows that he deserves better than that.

But having a last name means that you are normal, that you are part of something and Finn doesn’t have that. And he wants that.

“Do you want me to give you a last name?” Poe asks, a strange tilt entering his voice.

“I don’t know,” Finn replies sullenly. All he knows is he wants a last name, but he wants it to be representative of who he is.

“Because I’m perfectly happy with you taking the name Dameron if you want,” Poe continues.

And while Finn kind of finds that adorable it also annoys him because that isn’t how he wants that name. He doesn’t want Poe to just give him his last name like he’s doing him a favour. He wants…

“You’re no help,” Finn ends up saying, and it comes out more bitingly than he intended, but too many emotions are running through his body for him to keep track. He starts walking away, hoping that walking will help clear his head.

“Finn wait! I’m sorry.”

Finn turns back to Poe and feels a bit of guilt at making him feel like he’s done something wrong when he hasn’t. Finn’s just… so unsure of everything right now and most of all he’s upset.

“All my life I’ve wanted a family,” he says and to his horror, tears come to his eye. “And here it looks like I have one, but of course it turns out that my family didn’t actually want me. If they even are my family.” They haven’t actually figured that out yet.

Poe goes right up to him and there is a determined, slightly scary glint in his eye. “Finn. That man in there isn’t your family. Your family is the people you care about and the people who care about you in return. Rey, Rose, me — we’re your family, understand?”

“Yeah.”

“Who gives a shit about that man and how big of a hero he is? Because in my eyes? He’s an absolute idiot for giving up the most precious, beautiful being in the whole galaxy.”

And now Finn is actually crying for real.

“Come here,” Poe murmurs and pulls Finn into a tight hug. Finn buries his face in Poe’s neck and well, if Poe is his family, then Finn is definitely down with that.

Still, once he has calmed down and pulls out of the embrace, he can’t help but feel-

“What is it?” Poe asks.

“Is it bad that I still want to know?”

“Of course not. You do whatever you need to do and I’m going to be by your side no matter what.”

Finn smiles weakly and pats Poe on the arm. Without saying anything else they both walk back to the building with the shrine and enter it. The others are where they had left them.

Finn goes up to Doctor Tru, who is looking at him expectantly. “Alright. I want to test it.”

Doctor Tru nods and takes out his kit. He doesn’t even have to poke at Finn since he can just take some of the blood that came out from the cut on his arm. Of course, he does Finn the favour of healing the cut, which is nice of him. Finn should probably talk to him about his back once things have settled down. It’s been bothering him as of late.

He waits patiently as Doctor Tru runs his blood through his little machine and then compares it to the data on the hologram. The tight feeling returns to Finn’s chest as he waits.

The Doctor pauses for a second after comparing the data, then looks up at Finn. “It’s a 99.9% match.”


	4. A Past to Forget

Rey looks at the side of the Falcon where some of the exterior panels were pulled off. The inside wiring is a mess and where Rey usually would be able to instinctively know exactly how to fix it, she can’t for the life of her figure it out.

She grits her teeth as she climbs the ladder to get a better look, but images of Kylo Ren, Finn dying, and the whispers from the dark side keep making a mess in her mind. To her utmost annoyance, the wires seem to be a reflection of her internal struggles and she is just not in the mood for that.

She reaches out to unhook a connector when sparks suddenly start spewing at her. She jerks back and looses her balance on the ladder. She lands on her back with a hard thud, and tears spring to her eyes. She wants to scream in frustration.

“Are you alright?”

It’s Rose.

Rey quickly gets up and blinks away the tears. She hasn’t really had the chance to get to know the other woman and so doesn’t trust her yet despite the fact that Finn obviously cares for her.

“I’m fine.”

Rose doesn’t look like she believes her, but goes over to the panel Rey is working on and inspects it. Rey eyes her warily.

“You have your adaptors mixed up. That tube-”

“I know what’s wrong,” Rey snaps. She’s been fixing broken down ships and scavenging from them since she was a child. She knows what to do.

“And I want to be a princess when I grow up,” Rose shoots back.

“What?”

“What’s wrong?” Rose inquires, and her tone is sharp and pointed. Rey almost feels chastised.

Still, she’s not just going to let anyone in. She hasn’t even let Finn in. “You wouldn’t understand.”

She goes to walk away, but then Rose’s next words make her hesitate: “Doesn’t mean I can’t listen.”

She looks back at Rose and instead of seeing stubbornness or a challenging stance like she expects she only sees concern and care. If Finn trusts her, perhaps she can too.

She walks back over and sits down on the ground, Rose follows suit. It’s silent for several long moments and Rey tries to get her mind in order while Rose lets her think it through.

“I have a force connection with Kylo Ren,” she finally says. It’s the first time she’s told anyone this and strangely enough she feels a sense of relief to having admit it.

“You communicate with him?” Rose asks, and understandably enough she looks wary.

“Sort of. I blocked it off, but residual echoes keep slipping through… or at least I think that’s what it is. Anyways, I’m afraid that one day I’m going to give in.”

“To what?”

“The dark side,” Rey says in a whisper. There, she’s admitted it.

Rose looks angry. “What? Why would you-”

Now that it’s out, however, she can finally start trying to explain herself. She jumps up and starts pacing. “Because it’s so tempting! Because I can feel the power behind it and he’s right. I do want it.”

_That’s it._

Oh Force. There it is, the horrible truth. Back on that cursed island where Rey was being taught by Luke… if what he was teaching could be considered lessons… she had felt the dark side. It had called out to her and Rey had wanted to answer. Same as she did now.

_It’s powerful isn’t it?_

“How can you say that!”

_It will only make you stronger._

Rey is too caught up in her own musings to acknowledge Rose. “If I use it maybe I can learn to control it. I can use it to save all of us. It’ll keep us protected-”

“Or maybe you’ll just turn into another Kylo Ren,” Rose says.

_Is that really such a bad thing?_

“Stop it.” What did this girl know? Can’t she see there can be something there. They don’t have to constantly be afraid of the First Order if they use their own weapon against them.

_Good. Feel that anger._

Rose, however, keeps going. “Someone who has no problem destroying a bunch of inhabited planets just to prove a point.”

_Don’t listen to her._

“No!”

“Someone who thinks it’s okay to kill children!” Rose shouts also standing up.

And there’s too much noise and too many connecting thoughts and there were too many sensations flying around her.

“I want him out of my head!” Rey screams.

And suddenly everything stops. The pressure on her mind dissipates and it’s just Rey and Rose outside of the Falcon in Yitum forest. It’s just the two of them.

Rey stares at Rose and doesn’t know what to think anymore, she doesn’t know what to say.

“My sister believed in heroes,” Rose says, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“She believed in them so much that she wanted to become one. She died becoming one.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Rose smiles self-deprecatingly and tears are now falling down her cheeks. “Because my sister died, and I have so much anger and grief, and I don’t have time to mourn her. I didn’t even get a funeral.”

“I’m sorry,” Rey says, and she is. She doesn’t know what else to say.

Through her tears Rose continues. “Point is, I’ve given up so much for this cause and sometimes I ask if it’s worth it. All that pain and suffering and loss and I get so angry.” She pauses to sniffle and wipe away some tears. “But then I see us saving people and see the relief and joy on their faces and it’s worth it. We are giving others a future where they don’t have to lose people they love and I think that’s worth fighting for.”

“Well that’s great-”

“And then I use that anger that I have and put it into something productive. Use that anger inside of you and turn it into something good, but don’t use it to go to the dark side, because that isn’t going to lead anywhere except more pain and suffering.”

“Anger is the path to the dark side,” Rey whispers.

“No. Everyone has anger. It’s how you utilize that anger to get stuff done. Why is Kylo Ren angry?”

“Because Luke tried to kill him.”

“And so he used that anger and used it to do what he didn’t want to be done to him. See? How about instead of worrying about the dark side, use your anger to stop what makes you angry from happening to others.”

Rey looks away, letting her eyes trail back to the wrecked panel. She doesn’t really know what to do with that information and if she’s honest with herself, she’s not ready to face it either. Instead, “You’re right. I did have the adaptors mixed up.”

She climbs back up the ladder and fixes her mistake and this time there are no sparks.

“Well, I am a mechanic after all,” Rose says, and Rey is glad she has let the subject go.

“Thanks,” Rey says jumping back down, “want to head back?”

There are a bunch of people working on the ship and Rey figures with her mind the way it is, she’s more than likely to make mistakes. Besides, she wants to get on a better foot with Rose.

“Sure,” Rose says, then smiles, “would like to see what’s going on with Finn.”

Rey laughs, remembering how the citizens all seemed to be staring at Finn like he was some god. “Yeah, that was weird.” She hesitates and looks over at Rose. Rose looks back with an arched eyebrow and before Rey can talk herself out of it she asks. “Are you in love with him?”

Rose looks uncomfortable. “Well that took a left turn.”

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.”

“Have you guys talked?”

“Haven’t really had time,” Rose replies.

“Right,” Rey says feeling like an idiot.

“What did he tell you?” Rose asks.

Rey hesitates, wondering if it’s her place. She decides it can’t do much harm. “That you told him you loved him.”

Rose laughs awkwardly. “I guess I sort of did.”

“Do you?”

This time it’s Rose who pauses. “No… I think I wanted to be though.”

“Okay?” Rey says, though she doesn’t really understand.

“I thought I was going to die and I didn’t want to die without experiencing love so I conjured up a fantasy where we were in love. Having woken up I can see how ridiculous that was.”

“Do you want to try and have that with him now?” She wonders if she should tell Rose how Finn feels, but she supposes that it is not her place.

Rose thinks it over then shakes her head. “Nah. I don’t think we are what the other needs. Besides,” she says, smirking, “I think there’s something going on between Poe and Finn.”

Rey lets out a laugh, glad she isn’t the only one who sees it. “Tell me about it! Did you see the way they were acting in the battle today?”

Rose laughs as well. “Tripping over their own feet to save the other and getting themselves in a bigger mess? They’re hopeless.”

“I know! And-”

The sound of branches cracking makes them both freeze. Rey grabs Rose and pulls her down, and they carefully creep forwards. She can hear more rustling and as they get closer to the source voices start mixing in as well.

They arrive at the edge of a clearing and to Rey’s horror, there are eight First Order soldiers getting a small ship ready.

“General Hux is going to be pissed when he hears about this,” one of them says.

“Who cares about General Hux, it’s Kylo Ren we have to be worried about. Did you see how he killed that Stormtrooper?” another one replies.

Rey looks over at Rose and pulls out her retractable staff. “Do you have a weapon?”

Rose nods and pulls out her blaster. Rey holds up her hand. Three… Two… One… they both jump out of the clearing and start attacking the soldiers.

It’s eight against two, but they have the element of surprise. Rey quickly cuts down two of them with her staff, while she sees Rose shoots down another two.

Rey cuts down another one and is about to head after the soldier running to the ship when she sees that Rose has fallen and is being surrounded by the other two soldiers. It is either Rose or the man running to the jet.

It’s not a choice.

She leaps over and takes down the two soldiers surrounding Rose, then turns and sees the ship speed away, off to warn the First Order of their presence.

“You should have stopped him,” Rose says.

“You’re more important,” Rey replies, and the look of surprise and awe that Rose has on her face is something that Rey will remember for the rest of her life.

…

“You are his son! Oh this is a blessed day! The Force must truly be with us,” the citizen who led them to the shrine is saying, and that uneasy feeling in Finn’s gut grows stronger.

“Now listen here, I may be related to this guy, but that doesn’t mean-”

“Finn, just go with it,” Poe whispers to him, and Finn can see why. Everyone around them has started cheering or crying, or whooping, or doing something in celebration. He can hear the roars from the crowd outside, so someone must have passed along the message.

And Finn gets it. He does. These people have been living under the First Order for years without hope and then they come along and free them, and one of the people who does so is the son of their personal hero… well that is quite a sign. Finn would probably be celebrating too if he was in their situation, but he’s not. He’s the one who they are cheering for and he just wishes they wouldn’t. He was a Stormtrooper for kriffs sake, he really isn’t that special.

“Your mother knew you would return to her someday. She saw it in a dream,” the citizen is saying and Finn’s brain short circuits.

“Mother?”

“Yes! Viola Oswin, she has probably already heard of your arrival. We should go see her. Come!”

They leave the building and the others follow suite. Finn, however, turns and grabs Poe’s arm, probably a bit too tightly, but Poe, bless his soul, doesn’t even grimace.

“I can’t do this.”

“Finn, buddy, you’ll be fine.”

And Finn knows what Poe is trying to do, but Finn just can’t.

“No, Poe you don’t understand. I’m a Stormtrooper.”

Poe’s face hardens. “No, you’re Finn, hero of the Resistance.”

Thing is, that’s not what Finn needs right now. “Would you stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“I can’t meet her.”

Poe takes in Finn’s frazzled expression and nods. “Okay, that’s fine. We’ll…” he looks around, “well, we’ll find a way to get you out of this. How ab-”

“She’s going to be right outside! There’s no escape.”

“Finn, calm down.”

“I can’t do this,” Finn repeats.

“It’s alright buddy, everything will be fine… may I just ask why you can’t meet her?”

Finn looks at Poe incredulously. “Because I’m implicit in the pain that she’s experienced! Look around you! I grew up as a part of the organization that has brought her so much pain in her life.”

“Finn, that wasn’t your fault — you defected.” Poe pauses and looks over Finn in concern. “What really is the matter?”

Finn sometimes hates how Poe seems to be so perceptive of Finn’s feelings. “She was married to that man. She was probably implicit in my sale to the First Order. They let me become a slave!”

And that’s the thing. How can he look the person who sold him away in the eye? He just can’t.

“And I hate them for that,” Poe says and Finn looks back at Poe who seems to be struggling with something, but what’s scary is that Finn can see the hate and anger in his expression. “I hate what was done to you and I wish more than anything that I could have prevented that.”

“Poe…”

Poe takes a deep breath and thankfully his expression eases. “But the fact of the matter is that we don’t know the whole story. We don’t know what actually happened, and I think you deserve to know and your mom is the person who can tell you.”

Finn crosses over to Poe and hugs him again, burying his face in Poe’s neck. Poe’s embrace has started to mean safety and comfort to him and he wishes he could just stay in Poe’s arms forever. And he’s filled with something so big and vast for this man that he can’t explain it, but all he knows is that this man… this man… kriff he doesn’t have the words for it. “I hate you,” he says, voice muffled into Poe’s shoulders even though he doesn’t. It’s impossible to hate Poe, but he doesn’t have the words to describe what Poe makes him feel and so he says the opposite in the hopes the Poe will somehow understand.

Poe laughs so Finn knows that he doesn’t take offense, but he does pull back. The look in Poe’s eyes is so full of… something though, and Finn wants to drown in it.

“I…” Poe says, but then stops and just stares at Finn with a million different emotions visible behind his eyes, but then regretfully, Finn can see Poe pull back and put back his walls and Finn knows the moment’s over. “So what’s the verdict?”

Finn looks down and gathers up his courage. Poe’s right. He deserves to know why. He deserves answers. “I’ll meet her.”

Poe nods and gives him a small smile, reminding Finn that Poe had promised he would stay by his side no matter what. Finn is incredibly grateful for that.

When they exit out into the street a mass of people is waiting for them, all crowding against each other to catch of glimpse of their hero’s son. Finn doesn’t realize that they now view him as a hero as well.

They start cheering for Finn and Finn feels overwhelmed. He reaches out for Poe and grabs his hand, needing an anchor in all this. Poe’s hand gently interlinks with his own and gives Finn’s a slight squeeze.

Together they walk down the street and strangely enough the crowd parts to make way for them.

Then Finn can see that the crowd is also parting in the other direction and he knows that his mother is the reason for that. They are letting her through as well. He squeezes Poe’s hand tighter.

The crowd parts and Finn freezes as he sees her. She’s about fifty, but looks older, with ash grey hair and lines already lining her face. She has a limp and another citizen is helping her walk. She looks up and their eyes lock. Finn’s breath leaves her body. He might look like his dad, but those are his eyes, that’s his mom.

There are tears streaming down her cheeks and she looks at him like he is the most precious thing she’s ever seen. Finn lets go of Poe’s hand and takes a couple of steps forward.

“Richun. My Richun,” she says, and that stops Finn short again.

She limps her way over to Finn, a smile stretching across her face and Finn can only stare at her in shock.

“My baby,” she whispers and then she starts sobbing, pulling Finn into her arms and gripping at him like she’s afraid he is going to disappear. Finn holds her gently, not sure what to do.

“You’re home. You’re home,” she repeats.

Finn has never felt so lost.

…

Kylo Ren is looking over the progress of his new weapon when a soldier comes skidding into the Control room.

“General Hux, the Resistance hav-”

Kylo Ren growls and locks the man in a Force choke. “You will address me with any new information first,” he growls, stalking forward.

“Let him go this instant!” Hux exclaims, as if the disgrace of a man has any control over the situation.

“Or what?” Kylo Ren sneers.

Hux, of course, doesn’t have an answer, and he at least has the gal to look mollified. Kylo Ren drops the pilot. “Speak.”

“Supreme Leader Ren, my apologies. The Resistance has managed to gain control over Olcrest City on the Planet Utmiqua.”

Kylo Ren Force pushes the pilot across the room. “There are less than twenty of them left, how can that happen?” he hisses.

“Th-there are many more than that, and they have weapons.”

Behind him Hux snarls. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t decided to put all our resources on killing an old man.”

“Silence!”

Kylo Ren is furious. There are twenty of them! They shouldn’t even be walking now. He stalks over to the front console. “Bring up the planet Utmiqua.”

A hologram of the planet appears. Olcrest city flashes in red.

“Should I inform the other bases on the planet to head over,” one of the controllers asks.

Kylo Ren peers at the city. It’s just a dot amongst many, and the rest of the planet is still under First Order control. It would be so easy to wipe them out, but no. He wants to do more than that. He wants to show them true hopelessness. True despair. He wants to ruin them.

“No. Set a course to Utmiqua, but on the opposite side of the planet. We’ll give them a bit of a surprise.”

The controller nods and set course.

Yes. He’ll take them all down, and maybe if he’s lucky he’ll get Rey back too.

…

Rey and Rose run through the forest, hurrying to get back to the city.

As Rey runs, whispers start to surround her and she slows down, looking around and trying to see where the source of the sound is coming from. When she doesn’t see anything she reaches out with the Force to try and feel them that way instead.

The only person around is Rose who… why does she feel like she is in pain?

She hears a hiss behind her and whips her head around, but there is nothing there.

“Rey, what’s wrong?”

Rey turns back to Rose confused when suddenly a blaster shot hits Rose square in the stomach.

“No!” Rey screams as Rose falls down with a small gasp.

_You see, it’s your future. You can’t fight it. They’ll all die._

“Please stop!”

A loud bird suddenly caws and breaks the illusion. Rose is coming towards her looking her over in concern. She is perfectly fine.

“Are you alright?”

Rey blinks a couple of times and looks around. There is no one there and the voices have also stopped as well. She forces a smile and nods her head. “Come on,” she says and starts running on ahead, ignoring the worried look that Rose sends her way.

…

There is something definitely wrong with Rey, but Rose doesn’t know what. She knows Rey is having difficulty with the dark side of the Force and her connection with Kylo Ren which Rose doesn’t really understand, but she has a feeling there’s more to it.

Rose doesn’t press since they have to warn the others, but also because she’s keeping a secret too. The pain blockers had started to fade away when they had started walking back to the city and when they had attacked the First Order soldiers her legs had buckled due to the pain. That was the reason Rey had to come and save her, because her stupid injury had failed her. If she had been in good health, or taken more of the pain blockers earlier the one soldier wouldn’t have been able to escape. It had been her fault.

She doesn’t dare tell Rey this though because then she will be viewed as useless and Rose needs to help. It’s the only thing keeping her sane, keeping her moving.

So, while Rey had checked over the bodies, Rose had quickly swallowed another pill and ignored the warning Doctor Tru had said about her body needing rest or it will collapse. She just needs to last a little longer.

Or that’s what she tells herself.

Anyways, they run back into the city and manage to find Finn, Poe and the others, who are now surrounded by practically everyone in the city and for some strange reason Finn is hugging a woman.

“We just saw a First Order ship leave the planet. They’re going to know we’re here,” Rose says.

“We have to start evacuating everyone now,” Rey adds.

The woman who was hugging Finn steps back and comes over to them, something sharp in her eye. “We are not evacuating. This is our home and we will not leave it like cowards.”

“There is no cowardice in bringing your loved ones to safety,” Finn says.

“And what will you do? Stay and fight? I will not lose you again,” the woman says.

Lose? Rose looks between the woman and Finn. There is a certain amount of resemblance there… but it couldn’t be.

Artero approaches. “She has a point. If the First Order knows about our position then there isn’t enough time to evacuate everyone. The best plan is to send out a signal asking for people to come help. We set up a final stand off between the free people and the First Order.”

“We already sent off a signal asking for help. No one came,” Kaydel says.

“There was no hope then, there is hope now. The New Republic is not all decimated, we should be able to get a signal through to a few of their outposts,” Poe says.

“I’m not working with that scum,” Pellqua spits.

“Pellqua…” Artero starts to say.

“No! They took everything from us and then expected us to follow them without complaint. They took our lands, our homes, our children, all pretending it was for the greater good.”

“And that is what the First Order is doing now. My dear, we have to choose our battles.”

“Don’t tell me what to choose,” Pellqua hisses, “I had to grow up in a spaceship my whole life because of them. Don’t make me work with them.”

“You won’t be working with them. You will be working with us, and once we defeat the First Order, I promise we will do everything in our power to get you your home back,” Finn says.

“Your words, though warm, are meaningless. My home is gone – it was one of the planets the First Order destroyed.”

“The First Order destroyed central New Republic planets…” Poe says.

“Were they always?” Pellqua demands.

“We can take this to our people,” Artero brings forth, “those who are willing to fight will do so, those who refuse can go.”

“You bastard!” Pellqua sneers.

“You love me,” Artero replies.

“I don’t know why,” she hisses and storms off leaving an awkward silence.

“She will fight and so will our people,” Artero says, “she just needs some time to cool down.”

Poe nods. “Thank you. And Finn is right, we will do everything we can to ensure you have a home to go to after this.”

“We shall see,” Artero says, his disbelief practically radiating off him.

“I still don’t think they will come,” Kaydel says. “It is still such hopeless odds.”

“Oh dear, and with the General Organa gone they will be less likely to answer. We are doomed! Whatever are we to do?” C3P0 exclaims.

“That’s it!” Rey says.

“What?” Rose asks.

“We don’t ask them to come help us, we invite them here to show their respects. General Organa meant so much to so many people, they will want to attend her funeral and that’s what they’ll come here for. And once they’re here? Then we can convince them to help us fight.”

“That… that could work,” Poe says. The others all nod in agreement. “Okay it’s settled. Commander D’Acy, Kaydel? Do you want to start sending out the communications? C3PO and R2D2, you guys help them.”

The group nods and heads off. Artero goes to talk to his people, and that leaves them with the woman who is looking at Finn with adoring eyes.

“Richun, my baby, I would like you to meet your cousins.”

Rose raises an eyebrow. Richun. Interesting.

“Cousins?” Finn sputters.

“What’s going on,” Rey whispers to Poe. Rose leans in to listen in.

“That’s Finn’s biological mother,” Poe murmurs back. So Rose was right about the similarities.

“Yes,” Finn’s mother says, tears in her eyes, “everyone is dying to meet you. I-we all thought we lost you forever.”

Finn, however, doesn’t look so thrilled. “Yeah… umm I would love to meet everyone else but I umm… need to talk to my fellow mechanic for a second.” He turns and looks pleadingly at Rose.

It puts Rose in a tight spot, but she can see that Finn needs this, so she nods along and looks at the mother trying to act natural. She see’s the mom’s face fall and feels for the woman, but is dragged off by Finn before she can say anything.

Finn doesn’t speak until they are under the cover of the trees again and when he stops he kind of just starts pacing back and forth and mumbling to himself.

Rose is starting to feel like a counsellor. “Finn, are you okay?”

“I… do you love me?”

Rose really wants to bang her head against the nearest tree. “What?”

“Well I mean you kissed me and you know…”

“Right. No. I thought I was going to die, and I don’t know I just did it. I don’t love you.”

“Good, okay good,” Finn mutters and goes back to pacing. Rose wants to roll her eyes, but refrains from doing so.

“Finn breath. What’s wrong?”

“I… Poe likes me doesn’t he?”

And okay, Finn is obviously deflecting, but she decides to go with it. “Oh, so you noticed?”

Finn of course doesn’t answer straightforwardly. “And I can’t deal with his pep talks right now because he’ll just say that I deserve this or something else flattering about me, but you’ll answer me truthfully right?”

“Okay I’m sorry, but you’re all over the place right now. What?”

“I have cousins. How do I even have cousins? That doesn’t even make sense.”

Finally, they’re getting somewhere. “Okay, I get it. It’s a lot to take in.”

“I’m a Stormtrooper.”

“Ex-stormtrooper.”

“I was made to be a mindless body that just followed orders. They’re going to expect me to be this… to be Richun.”

“I think they’re just happy that you’re alive and here. They don’t care about all the rest.” She doesn’t actually know that, but the mom seemed super happy to see Finn, so she extrapolated.

“But I’m Finn.”

“And you can still be Finn.”

“But won’t that disappoint them?”

And oh. “Finn no. They’ll accept you for who you are. And if they don’t I will personally have a few choice words with them… though I think I’ll let Poe be the first to defend your honor.”

Finn chuckles weakly which Rose counts as a success. “Thanks… but what about me?”

“Sorry?”

“Is it wrong that I feel angry at them? I can’t get past the reminder that they all got to grow up together while I…”

“Then be angry, that’s okay – I would be. But maybe let them tell their story first? I mean, family is special.” Her mind conjures up the image of Paige and her throat tightens up. She quickly pushes it away.

“Right, I’m sorry. I was being insensitive.”

“No, it’s okay you weren’t.”

“How are you holding up?” Finn asks, and Rose wishes he wasn’t so _caring._ It would make her life a lot easier.

“Taking it one day at a time,” she says in false cheerfulness.

“And your health?”

“Surprisingly well. Doctor Tru certainly works wonders,” Rose lies.

“That’s great!” Finn says, then pauses and looks her over, “but you’re okay?”

“About what?” Rose asks warily.

“You know, me and you?”

“Yeah, we’re friends right? You don’t…?” Please say no. Please say no.

“No! Of course not!... not that you aren’t a lovely person – you are, whoever you end up will be lucky to have you… if that’s your thing. I mean-”

Rose laughs. “I get it. Same for you. We’re good.”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Oh, and Finn? I’m sorry, about stunning you. I shouldn’t have done that, you had every right to leave.”

“I know, apology accepted.”

“Thanks,” Rose says, and then because the mood was getting too down, she decides to poke a little fun. “So what do you think of Poe?”

The look Finn gets on his face is hysterical. “Poe’s great! I umm, yeah. I think we should head back. Yeah, they’re probably wondering where we are.”

Finn practically races away from her. Rose can only follow after him chuckling, those two were going to be right disasters around each other, and it was going to be so much fun to witness.

…

The First Order ships come out of hyperspeed a few miles away from Utmiqua. Kylo Ren studies the planet from the window. It’s nothing special. He looks forward to destroying it.

“And what are we to do now Supreme Leader?” Hux asks, an annoyed edge to his tone.

“Send out contingents of Stormtroopers to the nearby inhabited planets and the cities on this side of the planet. Order them to kill everyone in their path.”

“Some of those planets have people on them that supply us with weapons and ammunition,” Hux informs.

“Do as I say.”

Kylo Ren storms out of the room. Surely now that he is closer to Rey he will be able to get through again. Entering his room he closes his eyes and reaches out with the Force.

“I can feel you Rey, let me in. Let me see you.”

He can see her, he can feel her, she’s in his grasp…

He gets blown across the room. He screams in frustration.

…

Down at the hangar thousands of Stormtroopers are marched into shuttles and sent off into space.

“Hurry up you lazy scum! You have work to do,” an officer sneers.

“Such idiots. It’s amazing anything gets down around here with this lot,” another one joins in.

Inside one of the space shuttles the Stormtroopers look at each other unhappily. “I wish Captain Phasma was still alive,” one says.

“Yeah, at least she treated us with respect,” another replies.

“Quiet!” the officer barks, and so the Stormtroopers fall silent.

…

Finn arrives back at the square where everyone has been hanging out to see that most of them are still there. The citizens are still looking at him in awe which is still uncomfortable for him.

Poe spots him and rushes over and that warm glowing feeling appears in Finn’s chest again. He hears Rose’s teasing laugh in his mind and Finn tamps it down. Now is not the time.

“Finn, buddy, are you alright? You worried us there for a second.”

It’s strange, someone worrying about him, and for such a small thing. That warmth only seems to grow and it’s very inconvenient since he can’t take the time to explore it.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says and turns his attention to Viola… his mom. It feels weird to think of her that way. He thinks he’ll stick with Viola for now.

He knows Poe, Rey and Rose are looking at each other behind him, probably silently communicating, but Finn’s too caught up to really care. Viola looks up and he feels slightly guilty to see the way her eyes light up. He doesn’t feel the same looking at her.

With a sigh, he walks over to her. “Can we just talk one on one first? Before I meet anyone else?”

She blinks for a moment then smiles kindly. “Of course, whatever you need.”

She leads him away from the crowds, and they let them pass. Even though they still stare they respect their boundaries, which Finn is grateful for.

Viola leads him to a small café and they take a seat.

“Two cafs Cher darling,” Viola calls up to the barista, and the barista nods turning to get their drinks ready.

“Richun, I-”

“It’s Finn actually.”

“Finn?”

“Yeah, um, I prefer that name,” Finn says feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Okay then,” Viola says smiling, but Finn can tell its strained. Finn grips his hands together under the table, trying to keep calm. Already he’s done something wrong.

“Finn it is,” Viola continues, and this time her smile comes out more naturally. “I can’t tell you how amazing it is to find you. Or well, you found us. How did you do that? How long have you been looking for us?”

“Looking?” Finn stutters out. And this isn’t good. Not good at all.

“Well you know, with them taking you as a child, you probably didn’t know where your home planet was. That’s what we assumed anyways when you didn’t come back. We didn’t know what they told you.”

“I’m… you think I’ve been looking for you all these years?” Finn asks and now he just feels horrible.

“Haven’t you? That’s how you found us right?”

“I… no. I didn’t even know I had a living family until today.”

Viola’s face falls and Finn really wants to get out of there. The barista comes over with their cafs, but quickly hurries away sensing the mood.

“Oh,” Viola says softly.

Finn tries to fix things. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize-”

“No, I’m the one that should be sorry. I assumed, but of course you wouldn’t realize. You were just a little boy when they took you. Had just celebrated your fourth birthday.”

“I have a birthday?” Finn asks before he can stop himself.

“Of course you have a birthday, how could you not know-”

“I was a Stormtrooper.”

Viola breathes in sharply. There. He’s said it, it’s all out in the open. As he looks over at Viola, he knows he can’t just leave it at that. He has to fully explain what he is, what he’s gone through. Show her that he’s not some guy who missed his family and was searching for them, or a great hero who always did the right thing. No. That’s not who Finn is.

“I was just a number for so long – FN-2187 – that was it. My first memory is getting slapped because I messed up my footing during training. For most of my life I was just a member of a unit out of a whole bunch of other units. All I knew was my number and my position within the First Order. That was it.”

“No,” Viola whispers, tears appearing in her eyes, but Finn’s not done.

“I was trained to follow orders, keep in formation and shoot a blaster. I was pretty good at shooting a blaster if you must know. Was set for a promotion before I defected. I was good at what I did. I was a good Stormtrooper. That’s who I am.”

“My baby…”

“So that image you have of me in your head, that’s not me, and frankly? I don’t think it’s fair that you should have expected that from me either.”

And he’s done, he’s said what he wants to say, and well, it kind of feels freeing in a way.

Viola reaches out and grabs Finn’s hand. “Rich-Finn, I admit that I did always dream of finding you again, and I may have had expectations but you are better than all of those combined. I love you with all of my being, and it truly pains me to hear what you had to go through. As your mother, I failed my one greatest duty – keeping you safe.”

“Why?” Finn demands, “why did you give me away?”

It’s the question he’s been asking himself for longer than he can remember.

His mother looks up at him, tears falling down her face and she says the words that Finn has always known, but has never wanted to hear. “Because we were horrible parents, and we traded your life for money.”

It stabs at Finn, and rage billows up within him and he wants to storm out of that café, out of that woman’s life, but he can’t move. He’s frozen and Viola takes this opportunity to tell him what happened all those years ago.

“When the First Order came to our planet they offered to pay to put our children through their school. They would receive proper training and education and lots of prospects for when they grew up and every year the parents would receive some money as compensation for that fact that we wouldn’t be able to see them.

You see, Utmiqua was never a prosperous planet, and we didn’t have much money. The life you would have had would have been without many opportunities. We thought this was an opportunity for you, a big one. I did have my reservations, for they said we would only be able to see you once a year, but your father signed you up before I could say anything. At first I was angry, but then he brought me around regretfully, so when they came to take you away I let them.”

Tears fill Finn’s eyes, he doesn’t want to hear this, but he can’t move.

“It was only later that we realized what a mistake we had made. A year passed and no money came, nor did we get to see you. It was then that we realized that we had sold you away, and I… I’m so sorry. I pretended to think that you were fine, that you were receiving schooling and that you did have prospects. I guess I was just trying to make myself feel better.”

“Yeah,” Finn says. He’s still angry. Kriff he’s furious. What sort of parents gives away a four-year-old boy like that? Even if it’s in the name of better prospects?

“It’s why your dad fought so hard to save everyone. He blamed himself.”

“Well he should have,” Finn growled and he doesn’t care that people are looking over at them.

“Please Finn, you must understand, he truly felt horrible. And what he did – he died saving all those people’s lives. That-”

“Because of him I didn’t have any free will till a month ago. I don’t care what sort of hero he is to these people, he isn’t one to me.”

That stops Viola short and she looks down at her hands, tears still falling down her cheeks. “You’re mad at me too, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Finn says, and he doesn’t sugar coat it.

“I can understand that and I don’t blame you, but Finn? I will always love you, I want you to know that.”

Finn can’t. He just can’t take that, he doesn’t even really want that. But he still has one more question. “Why didn’t you leave with the other three thousand people your husband saved?”

Viola smiled sadly. “Because I always did believe you would come back here, and I wanted to be here to greet you.”

Finn doesn’t have a reply to that, so he doesn’t answer. He gets up and walks out of the café and starts walking down the streets away from all that messy history.

He’s shaking. He’s always known, every Stormtrooper knows, but to have that be confirmed? To know that you are worth nothing more than some inconsequential change? Finn wishes he could go back to his fantasy where he was ripped from his parent’s arms as they tried to fight for him, but no that wouldn’t have made sense. Especially when the First Order was trying to be discreet for so long – they wouldn’t make a big show of tearing children away from their families. The fantasy was better though. At least in the fantasy his parents actually cared about him.

Eventually he comes back to himself and notices that it’s dark out now and all the events of the day are hitting him. His back is aching, his arms and legs are tired and he has a huge headache. Worst of all, he feels emotionally ruined and he just wants to be with one person at the moment.

He doesn’t know how, but his feet take him exactly where he needs to be.

They provided Poe with a little room and there he is cleaning up BB8. Finn stands at the doorway just taking in his frame for a minute. He’s beautiful Finn realizes. He’s the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

BB8 beeps and Poe looks up, his face lighting up, but quickly falls into a worried look as he takes in Finn’s form.

“Finn-?”

Without a word Finn walks into the room and grabs Poe into a hug, falling into the embrace like it’s home. Poe’s arms come up and wrap around him tightly, holding on just like Finn likes it.

“Hold me, just hold me,” Finn murmurs, and Poe does. And in Poe’s embrace Finn feels for the first time like he’s wanted. The feeling is indescribable.

…

One of the many shuttles lands down on the landing pad at Canto Bight. A rich representative of the planet comes forward.

“What are you doing here?” he demands, “we are neutral territory! You’ll scare away the customers. Leave!”

A Stormtrooper shoots him where he stands. Hundreds of them start heading out and shooting everyone they see. The other shuttles land and do the same.

Screams fill the air.

The casino gets destroyed.

Three slave children race off into the grass for cover. One of them trips and falls, twisting his ankle. The other two help him to safety.

DJ is there to witness this all and he runs up to one of the First Order officers.

“What is the meaning of this? Did someone here upset you because I can assure you there are better ways of dealing with them. I can be of assistance with that.”

“Or you can die,” the officer says, holding a gun up to DJ.

DJ holds his hands up. “Woah now. No need to be so trigger happy. I’m a big supporter of the First Order. Big supporter. Did you know I was the one who caught the ex-Stormtrooper? Served him right up to the First Order on a silver platter.”

The officer scowls. “Get out of here.”

“Going!” DJ calls out. He heads to one of the First Order fighter jets and kills the soldier coming out of it. Looking around to make sure no one is watching, he gets into the cockpit and overrides the code. He flies off into space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm posting to a blank wall.


	5. Goodbye

The next day Poe stands by the landing pad waiting for ships to arrive. They received so many responses that it was a little overwhelming. Diplomats, Governors, Royalty, Rich merchants, Elders, and regular people all alike are coming to the funeral. Leia certainly made her mark in the galaxy.

One of the highest-ranking Senators from the New Republic is coming as well and Poe knows this is his opportunity to make his mark.

He sees the Senator’s ship coming now, and… is that two x-wings accompanying it? It couldn’t be…

But sure enough, two X-wings that Poe would know anywhere land down on the landing strip in front of the Senator’s.

Poe itches to run up to the two pilots, but he knows he has to do his duty first, so he walks up to the Senator’s ship as it opens and waits for the Senator to come out. She’s in her forties, with brown skin, and long dark brown hair that is tied in a braid down her back. She has the air of someone who is used to having a lot of power.

“Greetings, I’m Commander Dameron. I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”

“Are you not General Dameron now?” she asks with a raised eyebrow and Poe grimaces. He still isn’t used to the new rank.

“Right, of course.”

“I’m sorry for your loss. The New Republic certainly feels her absence.”

I’m sure you do, thinks Poe sarcastically, but he maintains his polite façade. “Thank you…?”

“Senator Dhia Mandi. I’m sure we will have lots to discuss after the funeral.”

“I’m sure we will.” Poe takes that as a good sign.

He lets her walk past and talk to the elected mayor of the city for their arrangements.

“Would you look at who it is!”

Poe turns and to his utmost joy and elation sees Snap and Pava alive and well.

“You’re alive!” he exclaims and runs towards them, hugging them both.

“Can’t get rid of us that easily,” Snap jokes.

“It’s good to see you again boss,” Pava says, but her eyes betray her grief. “We heard what happened, I can’t believe it.”

Poe grimaces and looks down. He can’t believe it either. His gaze then snaps up and his heart starts beating rapidly. “Where are the others?” Kare… L’ulo…

“I’m sorry, we’re the only ones,” Snap says his eyes dark. Poe feels that creeping iciness start spreading once again. Being able to spend the night with Finn in his arms managed to push it back for a bit, but facing more deaths of his team is not something that he can prepare for, nor cope with.

“We’ll get our vengeance,” Pava says resolutely.

“Right,” Poe says, voice distant, and he can’t deal with that right now. “I have to go and welcome some more people,” he says, “I am the new General after all.” He says it cheerfully, but inside he’s dying. He never wanted to be General, especially not like this, and he doesn’t know how much more he can take.

He leaves Snap and Pava behind knowing they are no doubt looking after him worriedly, but he’ll deal with that later. Instead he goes up to the next nearest diplomat and welcomes them to the city.

This continues for awhile until he hears a voice behind him that he did not expect to hear.

“Would you look at you!”

Poe turns and to his disbelief his dad is standing there with a giant smile on his face.

“I can still remember when you were just knee high and begging to go up in the air before you could even walk properly. And now I’m hearing you’re a General? What is this?”

“Dad!” Poe exclaims and all but jumps in his dad’s arms.

“Wait, what are you doing here?” he asks pulling back.

“I couldn’t miss Leia’s funeral, son. She was practically family.”

And there’s the lump in his throat again. “Oh, right.”

“Are you alright? I know how much she meant to you.”

“Um, yeah I’m fine,” Poe lies, hoping he’s better at hiding his feelings than when he was a teenager.

“You sure?” his dad asks, looking him over, “you know I’m here for you.”

“Yeah dad,” Poe says and pulls him in for another hug, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Poe, there’s someone you should meet… who’s this?” Finn asks coming up to him.

And Poe can’t help the grin that spreads over the face at the opportunity to introduce two of the most important people in his life to each other.

“Finn! Meet my dad, Kes Dameron.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Dameron,” Finn says holding out a hand.

His dad shakes it smiling warmly, and sending Poe a wink. Poe most certainly does not blush. “Please, call me Kes, and Finn eh? The same Finn Poe here can’t stop talking about?”

And okay, maybe he is a bit flushed, but it’s really hot out okay? (it’s not).

“You talk about me?” Finn asks, a glint in his eye.

“Finn, you saved my life! How could I not?” Poe gushes, then a horrible thought comes to him. “Oh, I’m so sorry. You probably want to be called Richun now.” And Poe feels horribly guilty about it, but the name tastes horrible in his mouth, but if that’s what Finn wants, then he’ll deal with it.

“No. My name’s Finn. It’ll always be Finn.”

Poe beams, and he probably looks like an idiot, but he doesn’t care. He prefers the name Finn!

“Kes Dameron, it is good to see you.”

Poe turns and his jaw drops when he sees Lando Calrissian approach them.

“Lando! Come here you old man!” his dad exclaims.

“Who are you calling old?” Lando grouches, pulling his dad into a hug.

“That was the guy I wanted you to meet,” Finn tells Poe.

“Is that your son?” Lando asks, “Good thing he took after his mother.”

His dad laughs. “That’s Poe alright, Poe-Lando. And watch it you,” he mock scolds Lando.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Poe says and it is, “I thank my lucky stars for my looks every day.”

“Hey!” his dad exclaims.

Lando laughs loud and full. “I like this one! It’s a shame we had to meet under such circumstances.”

That brings the mood down. “Yes, I heard you were close with the General. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“And I for yours,” Lando replies, then softer, “can’t believe they’re all gone.”

“You knew Luke and Han as well?” Finn asks.

“Yeah, I’ll have to tell you about that someday,” Lando replies and Poe finds himself hoping that Lando will sort of adopt Finn as his surrogate father. It’s what Finn deserves.

“I’d like that. We’re honouring them today too, and all the others who gave their lives for the Resistance,” Finn says.

“Well, I’m glad I came.”

A heavy silence falls on the group, but Finn quickly pulls them out of it. “Come, let’s get you guys settled.”

And as they walk off, Poe doesn’t feel so hopeless anymore.

…

Rey is meditating when she feels someone approach, someone she knows. She opens her eyes and sees Maz standing in front of her.

“Maz! It’s good to see you.”

“Tragedies always do bring people together,” Maz says reminding Rey that the woman was made of a different type of material. “General Organa was a rare one, the world is a colder place without her.”

Rey nods.

Maz squints her eyes up at Rey, looking her over and Rey feels like she is seeing right through her soul. “There’s a darkness surrounding you. Are you alright?”

First Pellqua, now Maz. This doesn’t sit well with Rey. She doesn’t want to admit it out loud though. “I… as well as I can be I guess.”

“Well, okay, be careful now,” Maz says and Rey can tell that she doesn’t believe her, but is choosing not to confront her. At least for now. “Now where’s Chewie?”

Rey lets out a breath and laughs, “I think he’s down by the local cantina. That’s where I last saw him.”

“Thank you dear,” Maz says and goes off to find him. Rey watches her go, heart beating fast in her chest and a sick feeling in her stomach.

_You think all these people will bring you hope? What are they going to do? They’ll just die._

“Shut up,” Rey hisses.

_Child. You think you can help them? You, who can’t even use the Force anymore?_

Rey freezes. She closes her eyes and reaches out for the Force, and it’s still there, thank Maker, but… when she tries to reach out for it, it slips from her grasp. She reaches again and again, but she can’t grasp it.

What is wrong with her?

_It’s happening. You had your chance. They are all going to die._

Rey is desperate. She reaches out her hands, even though she knows it won’t make a difference. This is just some trick. She still has the Force. It can’t be missing!

“Are you alright?”

Rey opens her eyes and sees the Qu’mquai fighter who had shot the arrow during the fight.

She leans back and forces a smile on her face. “Yeah, thanks.”

The fighter just nods then walks away, glancing back once again before turning the corner.

Rey reaches out one last time and still nothing.

She is so screwed.

…

Rose picks her way up what is left of the bell tower. Blood marks and blaster shots are embedded in the walls, and there is so much clutter everywhere. Pellqua is sitting at the top of the rubble, looking out at the setting sun when Rose approaches and sits beside her.

“Everyone’s here,” Rose supplies though she knows Pellqua doesn’t care.

“That’s great.”

“Artero is busy so he asked me if I could inform you that the funeral will start an hour past sun down.” He also hadn’t wanted to deal with her, but Rose isn’t going to tell her that. Some fights are better left between couples.

“How many Republicans are here?”

Rose hesitates. “A bunch.”

Rose expects her to start spewing curses or derogatory remarks, instead she just sighs tiredly.

“You probably think me irrational acting like this.”

“No, I guess I just don’t really understand.”

Pellqua looks down at this little wooden carving she has in her hand. Rose can’t see what it is, but it must hold some special significance. “My grandmother would tell me stories of my planet and people. The stories from our ancestors and the customs they shared. My favourite was when she told me how her family used to go out fishing in the summer seasons and how they would prepare them to last through the winter. Just the thought of being self-sustaining and not having to live off rations, it’s… All these wonderful stories and that’s all they are to me. Stories. I’ll never experience any of that because of what they took and then refused to give back.”

“I’m sorry,” says Rose, for what else can she say?

“Why is it that there’s always this struggle for power? People keep taking and taking till what’s left? Ashes in the ground and ghosts to rule over.”

“Can’t it be different now? If we win won’t your people have a say in getting what is rightfully yours?”

“So we are expected to be grateful to the people for giving back what they took? And they didn’t give it back last time, so why should this time be any different? Because we helped? Is our worth only good enough when we’re useful?”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

Pellqua sighs. “I know it’s the only way forward, and the only way we’ll get anything out of this, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I think that’s mostly how life goes.”

Pellqua laughs. “I like you, you have a good energy surrounding you.”

Rose looks over at Pellqua eagerly. “Like the Force?”

Pellqua smiles. “No.” And Rose feels a bit disappointed, but it isn’t surprising. “But you are a balanced person… though you have experienced tremendous loss recently.”

Rose flinches, hand immediately going to her necklace. “I think we all have.”

“True.”

They sit in silence for several moments.

“But you’re also in pain, aren’t you – the physical kind?”

Rose grits her teeth together. “I’m fine,” she says, even though she’s not.

“I’m sure you are,” Pellqua says dryly, but doesn’t press and Rose is grateful for it. She’s been jumping hoops avoiding Doctor Tru, she doesn’t need someone else hounding her to rest.

“You should go,” Pellqua continues, “I think they’re starting soon.”

“You aren’t coming?”

Pellqua pauses for a moment. “I will, just give me a second,” she says.

And despite her reluctance, Rose can tell that she will come. For after all, she has lost people too in this war. Now is the time to officially pay their respects.

So, Rose slips away and leaves Pellqua alone with her thoughts, and sure enough, a few minutes later the Qu’mquai woman also leaves and slips into the crowds waiting for the funeral to begin.

…

Everyone is gathered around the streets leading up to the spot where Leia will be put to rest. A hologram of her is at the head where she will be placed, and along the streets are holograms of other people that have been lost to this war. Among them are Holdo, Admiral Akbar, Paige Tico, Trin… the list continues. The list is too long in Poe’s eyes.

Luke Skywalker and Han Solo’s holo pictures are near the front too.

Everyone is holding a light in their hand, except for those who will be carrying the coffin. Poe is one of those, and his light is with his dad standing with Lando at the front.

Poe feels… blank. A numbness has filled him and he is acting on autopilot. He wishes he didn’t feel like this, but he is barely even computing anything. Finn looks over at him in concern, but not even Finn’s presence can cheer him up.

He’s burying his second mom.

How is it fair that’s he’s lost both of them?

It’s time. Him and Finn are at the front, Kaydel and D’Acy in the middle and Chewie and Rey bring up the rear. The rest of the Resistance is walking behind them, holding lights.

The coffin is light, but the weight of what is inside is heavier than anything Poe’s ever carried before. His mind balks at the idea of carrying Leia’s corpse and he has to stop from thinking of it that way. Instead he tries to just focus on his steps. Taking it one at a time.

They walk slowly down the streets, a strange silence surrounding them. For so many people, there is hardly any noise. Everyone has their heads bowed and as they walk more and more people join the Resistance members walking behind.

Each step feels like an age, each breath a burden.

They finally reach the end and they carefully place the coffin down. It is here that Poe must do what he dreads most. He must speak.

He has a speech prepared. He knew he couldn’t go up cold, not for this – he would have lost his words. But that still doesn’t mean he’s ready. For being ready means that he’s ready to say goodbye, and he’s not ready to do that.

Poe looks down at his dad who gives him a nod, and while it doesn’t exactly prepare him, it does help, so he steps up and looks out over the crowd.

“We are gathered here today to mourn the fallen. The brave and courageous who laid down their lives fighting so that those here today might still have hope. They laid down their lives so that we might have a tomorrow. I want each of you to remember that. When you go on with your lives, whether you choose to fight, or help others or try to make the galaxy a better place, remember those who sacrificed their lives so that you can do so. For without them we wouldn’t be here.”

Poe pauses and takes in a deep breath. Finn reaches out and squeezes his shoulder, giving him the strength to continue.

“Among the losses, is General Leia Organa. She tirelessly fought for the freedom and peace of everyone, both against the Empire and the First Order. She was kind, she was smart, she was funny, but most of all she was a hero. She was my… hero,” his voice cracked at the end and tears were now crinkling in his eyes. It was getting harder and harder to force the words out. “She would have… she wouldn’t have…”

He tries to continue he really does, but he can’t. She is dead. His hero, his mother, his guide, his mentor. The person he looked up to most… it wasn’t fair.

Against his will a sob escapes him, and then another till they are coming out uncontrollably and he can’t stop.

He feels strong arms pull him into a hug and he leans into it, recognizing his father’s arms.

“I’m sorry son,” Kes whispers, gently pulling Poe to the side. Poe can’t stop crying.

Thankfully, Lando steps forwards and finishes where Poe could not.

“She wouldn’t have wanted us to mourn her. She would have wanted us to fight, to fight together and support each other, and to make sure that the First Order gets defeated and no other tyrannical power ever rises again. I knew Han, Luke and Leia from their days fighting the Empire. They were the weirdest, most mix-matched group anyone could ask for, but they somehow got it done. As I look upon this new generation, I can see the pain and sorrow that already plagues you, and I know it hurts, but it doesn’t have to always hurt.

That is why I ask each and every one of you to step forward today and do your part for the Resistance. Look around you. I’m sure there is someone that you have lost because of this war. Don’t make their loss be in vain. Fight for them. Fight for all of them. Fight for someone else’s tomorrow.”

He ends and steps back. Silence spreads out over everyone like a blanket. Then –

“For Paige.”

“For Han.”

“For Luke.”

Other’s pitch in, all saying the names of their loved ones or their heroes.

“For Shara,” Poe hears his dad say.

“For Leia,” Poe says.

Everyone releases their lights and they float up into the air. They float up and up until the lights join the stars and they become one with the galaxy.

May they all rest in peace.


	6. Stretching Thin

A small smirk graces Kylo Ren’s features as he watches the planets around him get destroyed. This is what power feels like, total and complete control.

“Sir, I think you should see this,” one of the controllers says.

Annoyed by the interruption he glares at the controller who visibly gulps, but Kylo Ren just gestures for him to show what all the fuss is about. The man inputs a few things and up on the screen comes a livestream of a funeral. Upon closer inspection, Kylo Ren realizes that it’s Leia’s funeral… his mom.

An odd feeling rushes through him. One he doesn’t like.

“What is going on here?”

Kylo Ren bristles at the annoying sound of Hux’s voice. He chooses not to respond, while the commander looks nervously between them. Kylo Ren wishes to destroy them all. Maybe once he’s taken full control over the galaxy he will.

“Well?” Hux barks.

“The Resistance is holding a funeral for General Organa,” the controller finally breaks.

“Ah, so the bitch is finally dead,” Hux sneers.

“Don’t call her that,” Kylo Ren snaps.

“Oh, so now you get all up in your feelings. Weren’t you the same man that killed your own father? Don’t tell me you were a mommy’s boy,” Hux pokes.

Anger fills Kylo Ren’s veins and the urge to destroy grows. “SHUT UP!”

“What? Are you going to drop everything now? Going to try and redeem yourself?” Hux continues.

That’s it. He pulls Hux into a Force choke, taking morbid fascination as he watches the man’s face turn purple. “I said shut your measly little mouth,” he spits.

“I-I’m sorry master,” Hux gasps out and Kylo Ren finds it pathetic. The man has no spine.

He drops him and watches as Hux crumples into a disjointed heap. He will be the first person he destroys once he is done with the Resistance. “We continue as planned.”

Soon this will be all over. Soon.

…

After the funeral everyone dispersed, probably to mourn their loved ones in private. Rey herself had gone off on her own, but more to try and use the Force in any way at all. To her growing frustration and unease, it is still slipping from her grasp, like water trickling out of her hands. She has never felt so weak.

Still, she is tired and so she convinces herself that it’s the reason for her difficulties, so she makes her way back to her room. Along the way, BB8 comes rolling up to her beeping worriedly.

“Hey, what is it?”

BB8 beeps again shrilly. Poe, it’s saying. Something is wrong with Poe.

“Show me,” Rey says in concern and the droid rolls off. Rey follows wondering why the droid came to her of all people and why Poe is alone.

The droid arrives at a small, dark side street and Rey can just make out Poe’s figure in the darkness. At first she thinks he’s hurt, but as she steps closer she realizes that he’s crying.

Oh.

Poe suddenly looks up and his eyes widen as he takes her in and he quickly wipes away his tears, but the damage is done. “What are you doing here?”

“BB8 came and found me. They were concerned.”

The droid beeps in agreement. Poe frowns and kneels down to pat the droid. “BB8, I’m fine.”

BB8 beeps indignantly, and Rey has to agree – Poe is not fine.

And she knows why, but she doesn’t really understand. She’s never lost someone close to her. Yes, Han and Luke have both died on her and she’s terrified of losing people, so much that she is having hallucinations of them, but Poe has actually lost people that he knew well, that he loved. And a lot of them at that.

“You were really close to her, weren’t you,” Rey says, and she grabs a crate and sits down across Poe with BB8 in the space between them.

She looks him over and sees the dark circles under his eyes and the weariness in his posture. She realizes this is the first conversation they’ve had with just the two of them. Strange seeing as Finn is probably the most important person in their lives.

Poe looks down at this necklace he is holding in his hand that has a wedding ring at the end. “Yeah, she was like my second mom. She was there for me when my actual mom died. I can still remember her brushing away my tears and telling me that the galaxy will keep moving and I could keep flying.”

Rey listens fascinated. She has never thought what it would be like to have a mom. It sounds really nice. “She sounds great.”

“Yeah, she was. I wish you got more time to get to know her.”

Rey is surprised by that, but the sentiment warms her. “Me too.” She then looks at the ring in his hands and she has a feeling she knows who it belonged to. “May I ask what happened to your other mom?”

Poe sighs, and she can see how deeply the loss still affects him. “She got sick and died when I was eight. She was the one who taught me how to fly.”

She feels a tinge of jealousy at the thought of someone teaching Poe how to fly. She wishes she had that. “She must have been a great teacher.”

“Yeah, and an even better flyer.”

They both laugh at that, but it doesn’t quite dissipate the somber mood.

“I’m sorry that you lost her so young,” Rey says.

“It’s okay, at least all the memories I have of her are happy. What about you? Did you ever have parents?”

Rey grimaces and she feels the natural inclination to flee the conversation, but then she would be left with just her horrible thoughts and so she decides to share. “I thought I did, but turns out they were just drunkards who sold me for money.”

“How do you know?” Poe asks.

“Kylo Ren told me.”

“He’s obviously lying.”

Rey laughs self-deprecatingly. “I wish, but I knew all along I was nobody. Just didn’t want to face it.”

“No you’re not.”

But it’s all coming out now. “Yeah I am. I mean even Finn found his family, not that I’m not happy for him – out of everyone he deserves it, but… I guess on the plus side I have no one to lose. I mean Rose only had her sister and now she has no one. It’s better to not have anything to begin with than to lose all that you have, right?”

And she’s just saying stuff to try and make things seem better, or maybe to justify her position, or who really knows. She just hates the fact that she has no one, that no one ever wanted her.

“I don’t think that’s how Rose would view it, and you shouldn’t view it like that either. Rey, you have us now. Finn, Rose, me, the rest of the Resistance. Our family is your family and don’t let that evil son of a bitch tell you otherwise.”

Rey never really thought about it that way, but as she does, it warms her. Yeah, she does have a family now, and she’ll do everything she can to protect them.

“Thanks.” Then she thinks over what Poe said. “Sooo you’re calling Leia a bitch now?”

Poe freezes for a couple of seconds and his expression is hilarious. “Okay, yeah I take that back.”

Rey lets out a bright laugh, and despite her many problems, she feels a million pounds lighter.

“How about pasty white boy?”

“Yeah, that works,” Rey says, continuing to laugh.

Alarms blare out effectively ruining the mood. Rey and Poe look at each other and start running to the communications’ base, BB8 at their heels.

They enter the main room to find Finn and Rose holding up blasters to a man who has a shifty disposition about him.

“What’s going on?” Poe asks.

“This is the man that betrayed us to the First Order,” Rose hisses. So this is DJ, Rey muses. She’s not surprised.

“Now now, I was just saving my own life. You can understand that can’t you?” DJ tries to cajole and Rey immediately hates his voice.

“Shut your mouth,” Finn snaps.

“Okay, why are you here now?” Rey asks, for a man like him this place should be the last place he would want to go.

“Yes, let’s all just take a second to make sure everything is on the table,” Lando says.

“Finally, someone with common sense,” DJ says.

“Don’t push it,” Lando replies.

DJ grimaces. “Fine. Canto Bight is under attack from the First Order. They’re destroying everything.”

“Why would the First Order attack Canto Bight? The planet holds many of their weapons’ suppliers,” Rose says.

“Sounds like a lie to me,” Finn adds, and Rey agrees with them.

“I-I-I’m not lying. Set up any com on the planet and you’ll see for yourself.”

Maz steps up and eyes DJ critically then sets up a feed. The hologram shows image after image of Canto Bight getting destroyed by the First Order. It’s a horrific sight.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Rose breaths.

“Check other planets in this system,” Rey says a growing feeling of dread filling her stomach.

Maz changes the feeds and planet after planet is shown being attacked by the First Order. It’s a slaughter.

“No,” Poe whispers.

“We have to stop this,” Finn says.

“And how do we do that?” the Senator asks stepping forwards.

“Well, we could use your help mam,” Poe says.

The Senator’s mouth is pulled into a pinched expression and Rey knows as of right now, they won’t be of much help. “The New Republic is limited as it is, we cannot send out our people to fight a hopeless battle.”

“Typical Republicans,” Pellqua mutters, just loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Rey finds herself sharing that sentiment.

“These people are dying. We can’t just sit around and do nothing! Were you not listening at the funeral?” Poe pleads.

“While that sentiment is well and all, you have to accept when you have no more cards to play,” the Senator replies.

“Until there are no more people willing to fight for freedom, there are still cards to play,” Poe argues back.

The com beeps and everyone turns to stare at it. Maz is the one to reach out and switch the dial and to everyone’s horror, Kylo Ren’s form appears on the hologram.

“Resistance, if you can still call yourselves that,” Kylo Ren sneers. Rey feels a jolt of hatred at seeing his face that isn’t entirely her own, but she shares the sentiment. “I have a message.”

“We don’t care about your message,” Rey snaps and she goes to turn off the com link, but Lando stops her.

“Wait,” he warns as Rey stares at him aghast. Rey knows this is not a good idea. Nothing good will come out of letting him speak.

Kylo Ren smirks and then continues. “We know that you are currently holed up in Olcrest City. We are currently located at the opposite side of the planet, a few miles outside of Utmiqua’s atmosphere."

“So close,” the mayor of Olcrest city breaths.

“If they’re attacking the other planets, then they’re going to be attacking the other cities on this one,” another citizen says.

“How smart,” Kylo Ren chuckles.

“You bastard!” Viola screeches, and Rey feels the immense guilt knowing that they have brought this pain and suffering to their planet.

“I have no interest in your people,” Kylo Ren continues, “but you will all pay for hosting the Resistance, mark my words.”

“Leave them out of this!” Finn shouts.

“I can,” Kylo Ren smirks, and Rey’s gut feeling of dread grows, “if we come to an agreement.” He turns and looks directly at Rey, freezing her. “Bring me Rey and this planet shall be spared.”

“No,” she breaths out.

“We do not negotiate with terrorists,” the mayor says, and that’s brave of him to say but he is no match against Kylo Ren. Rey knows the best thing to do is to give herself in, but she doesn’t want to. It’s the last thing she wants to do and she knows she won’t survive it.

“I propose a meeting,” the Senator says.

“And who are you?” Kylo Ren sneers.

“Senator Mandi of the New Republic.”

“So the New Republic is still kicking, how pathetic.”

“What are you doing?” Poe asks the Senator, but she ignores him.

“I am sure we can come up with some agreement.”

“No,” says Finn, his eyes blazing.

“You’ve heard my bargain,” Kylo Ren says sounding bored.

“I’m asking this on behalf of the entire galaxy, not just this planet. I want this war to stop.”

And Rey understands her, she does, but Rey also knows that the last thing Kylo Ren will ever want is peace. He is full of destruction and rage and will keep spreading his hate till there is nothing left.

“Then surrender,” Kylo Ren sneers.

“In order to do that we have to sign terms of agreement,” the Senator counters.

“What are you doing?” Poe demands, a furious edge to his tone.

“Fine, you may come so long as you bring Rey.”

“Very well,” the Senator replies.

The commlink ends.

Everyone is silent for several moments, then: “You are _not_ bringing Rey into this,” Finn declares and he looks ready to commit murder.

“I had to set up grounds for a meeting,” the Senator says, “this is our chance to end this.”

But it’s not. Anyone who has been in Kylo Ren’s company knows this. This won’t end with pretty words and exchanged assets.

“You think reasoning with him will work? It won’t, I can tell you that right now,” Poe says. And looking around Rey can see that most everyone except for the Senator’s people are in agreement with Poe. She realizes he is right, she is part of their family.

“Poe’s right. He just wants me to join him. He doesn’t care about peace treaties,” Rey says.

“I have to do what’s best for the galaxy,” the Senator replies, and Rey feels sorry for her for she actually believes she is doing the right thing. She is in for an unpleasant surprise.

“You don’t know what is best for anybody,” Pellqua sneers.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” the Senator snaps.

“I’m your-”

“Not now,” Artero attempts to intervene, but Pellqua is having none of that.

“No. She needs to hear this. You’re the power that kicked us out of our homes, which led to this mess. _I’m_ now trying to fix it, unlike you.”

“This is getting us nowhere,” Maz intervenes, “I think you should go and meet him.”

Rey looks at the old woman, feeling betrayed.

“Are you mad?!” Poe exclaims.

“Perhaps, but he will let you in under the guise of a conversation. It may be an opportunity to gather information,” Maz explains.

“Did you forget the part where he wants Rey?” Finn demands.

“He’s going to know if I’m not there. And I can’t face him. I don’t even have a lightsaber.” Nor the Force, but she doesn’t dare say that.

“Yes,” Maz muses, “you do have to do something about that darkness in you.”

Rey feels like she has been punched in the gut.

“You feel it too?” Pellqua asks Maz, who nods and they share a look. Rey really can’t deal with this right now.

“So basically, this plan has already failed from the beginning, unless you do plan on handing me over,” Rey snaps.

“That’s not happening,” Finn says and Rey loves him for his constant support.

“I agree,” Poe says.

“No, we just delay until we get something,” Maz says.

“What are we looking for?” Rose asks.

“Anything. Anything that might help us,” Maz replies unhelpfully.

“What are we delaying till?” the Senator asks, because of course she would be onboard with this plan.

Maz turns to DJ and assesses him. “DJ, from what I’m gathering you know the schematics of the First Order ship?”

“Aye mam,” DJ says.

“Then you’ll be able to trigger the doors of the hangar where the Falcon will enter so that it can escape without too much difficulty and with everyone intact.”

“There is no way we are letting that scum come with us,” Finn hisses.

“Definitely not,” Rose agrees.

“Hey now!” DJ complains.

“Why doesn’t DJ tell Rose exactly how to override it?” Poe says looking DJ over with a cold expression. It seems he hates DJ almost as much as Finn and Rose does.

“He’s going to give me misinformation,” Rose says.

“No, I may not know the First Order ships, but I know coding. I’ll know if he’s giving you the wrong information,” Maz says.

“Rose, can you do that?” Poe asks.

A flicker of uncertainty crosses her face, but it vanishes as quick as it came. “Yeah, I can.”

“Okay fine, but what’s happening in between?” the Senator asks, bringing up the blatantly obvious problem with this plan. The silence stretches out further cementing the stupidity of this plan in Rey’s eyes.

“You and Poe should talk with Kylo Ren; try and get something out of it,” Artero finally ventures.

That still doesn’t solve anything! “What about me?” Rey demands, “Remember, I have to come along or they won’t let you in. Are we still planning on giving me away?” And yes she’s angry, how can she not be? This is her life on the line.

“Of course not,” Maz says, “you’ll stay in the Falcon and don’t come out. I fear you are right – you are not able to face Kylo Ren anymore.”

She looks at Rey square in the eye and Rey feels like her world is collapsing in on her. She knows.

She has to look away, blinking rapidly as tears come up to her eyes. She catches Finn looking at her in concern but she quickly looks away. She can’t deal with that at the moment.

“How will that work?” the Senator asks.

“We’ll say we’re keeping her until we come to an agreement,” Poe says though he doesn’t look too happy with the plan.

“That’s not going to work,” Kaydel says and Rey agrees.

“I know, but it’s the best we got,” Poe says and Rey realizes that this is going to be the plan. They are really going to have a meeting with Kylo Ren and having a little chat expecting to find something. It’s ludicrous!

“I don’t like any of this,” Viola mutters.

“Neither do we, but people are dying as we speak and we have to do something, so that’s the plan for now, agreed?” Poe says looking around, and well, he’s the General of the Resistance now. If Poe agrees with this plan as stupid as it is, most are going to follow.

Rey wants to voice her dissent, but she doesn’t know what else to replace it with and so she remains quiet as everyone around her murmurs their assent.

“Great, now Rose, Maz, DJ – let’s get started,” Poe says and walks out of the room. The three others follow behind, Rose still holding a blaster up to DJ.

Rey looks around the room at the rest to find most of them are looking at her. She can’t stand it so she quickly leaves, needing to be alone.

Of course, Finn has to follow her.

“Rey!”

For a moment Rey considers bolting down the hall, but she can’t run away from Finn. Still, she doesn’t want to face him so she just stops, not even turning around. Finn is the one who steps around her so that they can face each other.

“What’s wrong? Is there something you’re not telling me?” he asks, and damn him, he looks hurt, but worst of all, concerned. For her.

“It’s nothing,” Rey says.

“Why did Maz say you can’t take Ren on anymore?”

“Leave it,” Rey snaps, and no she can’t actually deal with this right now. she pushes past Finn and runs down the hall and out of the building, ignoring his calls.

She runs until she can’t anymore then ducks into an alley and crouches to the ground. She is shaking all over and dry heaves are wracking through her body.

“Please,” she sobs, “I need help.” She doesn’t know who she’s pleading to, but she needs a sign, something to help her, anything.

“You can fight this.”

Rey looks up and her mouth drops open as she takes in Luke’s form. She has to be hallucinating.

“Luke?”

“Get up child.”

“How are you…?”

“Force sensitive people can connect with the Force after they die,” Luke replies, “I thought you knew that.”

Rage fills her veins. “How the bloody fuck would I know that? You certainly didn’t teach me anything of use! And why are you only appearing now? Haven’t you seen what a mess everything is?”

“I’m sorry, it isn’t exactly easy to connect to it. It took some time.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Rey rages sarcastically, “You know it hasn’t exactly been easy for me either! People look at me and expect me to be there great hero and I CAN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“You are stronger than you know,” Luke replies.

“No I’m not.”

_That’s true. You’re not._

“Stop it,” she sobs. Why can’t you just go away?

“Rey, fight it,” Luke says staring at her urgently, but he’s fading in and out and the voice just grows stronger.

_Everyone you love will die. You’ll see. Why do you think Luke and Han are dead?_

“Rey! Listen to me!”

_Poe is screaming, falling down by Kylo Ren’s hands._

_Rose collapses in a ball of pain with Stormtroopers surrounding her._

_A blast blows up Pellqua._

_Artero gets shot down while leaning over Pellqua’s body._

_Kaydel, Chewie, and Doctor Tru are all shot down trying to guard the Falcon._

_The Falcon explodes with Lando inside of it._

_The citizens of Olcrest city, the Qu’mquai fighters, the New Republic soldiers all get destroyed by First Order troupes._

_Finn gets stabbed in the heart by Kylo Ren’s lightsaber… but she’s the one wielding it._

Rey screams.

“Please Rey!”

Luke’s body is forming and deforming in front of her, it seems to be consumed by something dark and black, turning into a monster. Dark laughter surrounds her and all she sees are the images of people dying.

She pulls out her staff and slices through Luke.

Luke disappears and so does the voice.

She collapses to the ground sobbing.

…

Rose stands to the side watching as Poe ties DJ to a chair. She feels so tired and she only has two more pain blockers left. If she’s going on this mission she needs to save them for then. She hopes that it will all be over soon.

Poe steps back and pulls out his blaster, pointing it at DJ.

“I-I-Is that really necessary?” DJ asks.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Poe replies in a dangerous tone, “Rose you ready?”

Rose makes a mental note to never get on Poe’s bad side. “Yeah.”

“Do you want to throw a few punches first?” Poe asks, and Rose realizes that he is completely serious. He really wants to hurt him.

“Tempting, but no.”

“Alright DJ, no funny business,” Maz says.

So DJ starts talking and Rose takes notes, while Maz manages to set up a sort of visual system so that Rose can see what he’s talking about. It takes awhile, but Rose thinks she’s eventually got it all down. By that time it’s super late, more like morning really. They’ll have to leave soon. The thought brings Rose dread.

“I’m think we’re good,” Maz said, “go get some sleep.”

Rose nods and leaves the room in a blur.

“You too Dameron,” she hears Maz say before she exits. Poe had been standing vigilant all night long while they worked. It’s admirable, but a bit concerning considering that he will have to be at his top game today against Kylo Ren.

Outside of the room stands Doctor Tru who has obviously been waiting for her. Looks like it will be a bit longer before she can get some sleep.

“Not now,” Rose murmurs.

“I hear you’re about to go off to see Kylo Ren and you’re a key part in this mission.”

“So?”

“So,” Doctor Tru stresses, “you are not physically fit to go! Your body needs rest.”

“I have a few more pain blockers, I’ll be fine.”

“The pain blockers are not a quick fix. They just temporarily block the pain signals traversing from your body to your brain. Your body is still falling apart!”

“Well that’s great, but I have to do this,” Rose replies and she really isn’t in the mood for this. She pushes past him and hurries away.

“You’re going to kill yourself,” Doctor Tru calls after her, but he doesn’t chase. He probably knows there is no point. She’s not changing her mind.

“Yeah well, we’re all going to die anyways,” Rose mutters.

…

Finn has been waiting around for Poe when he sees Rose storm out of the building, behind her is Doctor Tru, but he stops before he exits and just looks after her annoyed but also worried. That reminds Finn that he should probably talk to the Doctor.

“Hey, Doctor Tru?”

Doctor Tru turns around and looks at him in surprise. He like everyone else has dark circles under his eyes. “Yes?”

“I… my back sort of hurts and I was wondering if you had anything for it?”

Doctor Tru’s features immediately turn to all business and he nods. “How long has it been hurting and where exactly?”

Finn grimaces, “well it’s kind of being hurting since I woke up.”

“Woke up?”

And right, Doctor Tru doesn’t know about that. “Yeah, I got slashed in the back by a lightsaber which put me in a coma for a bit.”

Doctor Tru’s features go through an interesting couple of expressions. “You got…? You’ve got to be kidding me! How many treatments did you get through since you’ve woken up?”

“Treatments?”

Doctor Tru’s face blanches. “Please don’t tell me you woke up and didn’t have anyone look at your injury.”

“Umm, yeah that’s sort of what happened,” Finn says.

Doctor Tru starts spewing a bunch of curses, which Finn takes as a bad sign. In his defense he has had other things to worry about since he’s woken up, and the pain in his back was the least of his concerns.

“You do realize that an injury like you’ve sustained needs at least four different procedures before you’re fully recovered and you probably only received the first one while you were in your coma.”

“Okay, what are the procedures?” Finn asks, hoping they are quick things.

“While the first one is that you need to go back into a bacta tank for twelve hours.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“Finn, I’m serious. If you let this go on for much longer, you could potentially never walk again. Lightsaber wounds continue to burn at the skin area long after they’ve made their mark. To prevent that you have to deal with the injury properly.”

And while the danger of not walking again is a real concern, there is no time for him to waste a full twelve hours in a bacta tank. “Listen, I understand, but that’s going to have to wait. Don’t you have anything for the pain that I can take for now?”

Doctor Tru stares at him in disbelief. “You are all going to kill yourselves.”

And that is probably true, but well someone has to fight.

“Well?”

“I can’t give you pain blockers because it’ll just cause more problems then good with an injury like that, but I can give you this.” He reaches in his bag and pulls out a jar of bacta gel. “Put this on your injury, it should help a bit, but I’m serious when I say you need to get treatment soon.”

Finn smiles and takes the jar. “Hear you loud and clear!”

Poe comes out of the room, looking dead on his feet. He stops and looks between Finn and Doctor Tru confused.

“Thanks Doc,” Finn says cheerfully and goes over to Poe, “you alright?”

“Are you?” Poe asks.

“Yeah, just needed to get this for my back. Hey would you mind putting it on for me?”

“Uhh, yeah. Come on, we can do it back at our room.”

And something warm and fuzzy grows in his stomach and the thought of _their_ room. He pulls Poe out of the building, purposely not looking at Doctor Tru who is probably glaring at him.

Back at their room there’s this odd tension in the air.

“Here,” Finn says handing the jar to Poe then looking around. “So, how do you want to do this?”

Poe is looking anywhere but at Finn. “Why don’t you sit down on the bed facing the wall and I’ll put it on.”

“Right,” Finn says. “Right,” Finn repeats.

His heart is beating oddly fast in his chest and his palms are sweaty. He rubs them against his legs, but he doesn’t calm down.

He sits down on the bed facing the wall and doesn’t move. It’s silent for several seconds.

“Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you have to take your shirt off buddy.” Embarrassed, Finn quickly shucks off the shirt.

It’s not cold out, but goosebumps still rise up on his skin. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way.

He feels the weight of the bed shift as Poe sits behind him. The only sounds are their breaths which seem far too loud for the room.

Nothing happens for a few moments then he feels a smooth, sticky substance been gently dabbed on his back and a shiver runs through him. He forces himself to keep still and Poe gently smears the bacta gel over his scar, fingers gently tracing the length of his back.

Then Poe starts to rub it in and Finn has to bite back a moan. Kriff that feels so good. Suddenly there isn’t just one hand, but two, gently running over his back and massaging his skin. Finn feels warm all over and it just keeps growing and growing until he feels like he’s going to burst. The hands have wandered now, no longer just sticking to the scar, but are running over his muscles and along his shoulders. It feels better than anything Finn’s ever experienced before.

“Poe,” he murmurs, and to his greatest disappointment the hands are immediately gone.

“Sorry buddy,” Poe mutters.

Finn turns around and watches as Poe busies himself with putting away the bacta gel, resolutely not looking at Finn.

And it all clicks into place.

Poe turns to put the bacta gel on a table and when he turns back, Finn grabs his arm and gently guides Poe into his lap. Poe willingly goes, though there is a touch of confusion in his eyes, which Finn hopes to clear up soon.

With a gentle hand that’s slightly trembling, he reaches up and traces his fingers over Poe’s cheekbones and down his jaw, then lets them dance lightly over Poe’s lips.

Poe’s breathing has hitched and his eyes are slightly blown. He’s looking at Finn likes he’s a wonder, a treasure. Finn feels the same.

Keeping his movements slow, he gently brings his hand to cup the back of Poe’s head, burying his fingers in Poe’s curls and brings their faces closer together.

He pauses when they are an inch apart, breaths mingling. “This okay?” he asks, voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” Poe chokes out and Finn surges forward, connecting their lips.

It’s amazing. That’s the only word Finn can use to describe it. That warm feeling in Finn’s stomach grows till it reaches his chest then spreads to the rest of his body. It’s all encompassing and perfect and Finn wishes to drown in it.

That’s all they do, gently pressing their lips together again and again, too tired to do anything else, but it’s enough. It’s more than enough.

They kiss till they’re too tired then collapse onto the bed, limbs tangled together and their dreams take them away to happier places where they are together and there is no war or fighting or pain.

Just love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to leave it here for now before the angst starts again :)


	7. Making Deals With the Devil

Pellqua wakes up feeling weird. Something is going to happen today, something significant, but she doesn’t know if it’s going to be good or bad.

She votes on bad, especially since the New Republic Senator is involved.

Still, she gets ready following her daily morning meditation. The Force feels charged today, further cementing her belief that something is going to happen.

“You alright?” Artero asks.

“I hope so,” she replies. As she sits though, she can’t help pondering what they’re actually doing. “Do you really think there will be change if we get through this?”

“I think with Poe, Finn and the rest of the Resistance-”

“But they’re not the New Republic. After this war, they’re not going to mean anything.”

“Well if things go well, I’m sure Senator Mandi is a reasonable person to negotiate with.”

“Our people have put their faith in others before and it backfired badly. What’s to say that this opportunity will be any different?”

Archard shrugs. “I don’t know, but we can only try. Come on, we have a First Order to defeat.”

She’s not entirely pleased with the response, but she knows it’s pointless to protest at the moment.

Together they walk down to the landing pad where the Falcon has been moved and fixed up. Their people are their waiting for them to give them a send off. Only Artero and Pellqua will be going on this mission and it feels weird to be leaving their people behind. They have never done something like that before.

“Stay safe,” Reia, one of the skilled bow fighters, says.

“If that is the Force’s will,” Artero replies.

Behind them Pellqua watches as the Senator walks on board the Falcon with a couple of her escorts. The bubbling rage that is always present inside of her rises to the surface. She remembers the feeling she had this morning.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” she says.

Artero sighs, following her gaze. “I know, but let’s stay positive, alright?”

Pellqua scoffs. “Easy for you to say.” He had always been the optimist to her pessimistic views.

They signal good bye to their people then also board the ship. Pellqua purposely goes in the opposite direction of the Senator. It will do no good to shed blood before necessary, no matter how much she wants to.

…

Rose finds Rey meditating in the early morning sun. She looks like she hasn’t gotten any sleep, which is concerning, but Rose hasn’t gotten much either so she can’t really make note of it. She supposes sleep will soon become a foreign luxury for them all.

Before she approaches Rey, she swallows the last two pills and waits for the affects to kick in. To her disappointment, the pain that remains is worse than normal and she knows that Doctor Tru is right – she won’t last long.

Still, it’s a problem for another day.

“Hey,” she calls out to Rey. Rey opens her eyes and smiles softly, and despite the tired look in her eye, Rose has to admit Rey is quite pretty.

“Hi,” Rey greets and gets up, “is it almost time to go?”

“I think so, the crowds are growing at the landing pad.”

“Well, we better head over then,” Rey says with a smile. Rose notices how it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“How are you holding up?” Rose asks.

Rey takes a long time to answer, so long that Rose thinks that she isn’t actually going to. Finally, “I don’t want to see him.”

Rose can understand that. “Are you still afraid he’s going to convince you to join the dark side? Will the connection be reopened when you’re closer?”

“I don’t know,” Rey replies, “but I’m starting to think he’s not the problem.”

Rose frowns, not understanding what Rey means by that, but before she can inquire further, Chewie and Maz joins them.

“Ready?” Maz asks.

Rose nods, but to her surprise Rey shakes her head.

“It’ll be alright child,” Maz says.

“Do you know how to stop it?” Rey asks, and Rose is confused. Maz seems to know what Rey is talking about though.

“I’m like your Qu’mquai friend. I can feel it but I can’t alter the Force that way. I’m sorry, but this is something you will have to figure out alone.”

Rey nods, but she doesn’t look happy with that answer. They arrive at the launching pad and she quickly disappears into the ship. Rose watches her go in concern.

“Take care of her Chewie,” Maz says and Chewie moans, patting Maz on the head. He then follows after Rey.

“You okay?” Maz asks Rose.

“I hope so,” Rose responds, but seeing Rey like that has made her start to question this mission.

“I like you,” Maz continues, and Rose looks down surprised. She doesn’t know much about Maz, but she knows that her saying such things was a rarity.

“I like you too. I’ll see you soon.”

“And I you.”

With one last smile to Maz, she turns and enters the ship, ready to face whatever adventure is there to meet them. Or so she hopes.

…

Sam is not happy, but then that is to be expected. He has been running around on his feet for two days straight and there still seems to be no end in sight. His medical expertise has been in high demand since the battle for Olcrest City and to make matters worse, no one seems to listen to him.

Oh fix this Doctor. Make this better Doctor. Perform a miracle Doctor.

But when the Doctor prescribes rest and recuperation? Therapy? Long term medication?

Oh no Doctor, can’t do that! Just a quick fix for now please. You know how it is, I can’t possibly be out for that long.

It’s driving Sam insane needless to say.

That’s the whole reason he insisted on coming on this damn mission. Two of the key figures are likely to fall apart at any moment. And who is going to be blamed when that happens? Why Doctor Tru of course!

But Sam won’t let any of them die on his watch. They may all be broken and falling apart, but he has a few tricks up his sleeve.

It doesn’t help that the people who packed the Falcon have messed up all his supplies however. So here he is sorting through the supplies instead of relaxing while he still can.

“You ready for this?” Kaydel asks coming up to him. He looks up and tries to smile at her. She’s one of the few people who are actually uninjured in any way and he is grateful for that.

“I just hope my services aren’t needed,” Sam replies, but he knows they will be. It is practically inevitable.

“The Force willing,” D’Acy calls out as she walks past them.

Sam catches Kaydel’s eye and they start chuckling.

“Do you need help with… whatever you’re doing?” Kaydel asks.

“Sure!” Sam replies and makes room for her to sit down. And yes, he is smiling like a goof. He’s running on less than three hours of sleep okay, let him live!

…

Finn wakes up with his arms wrapped around Poe and though he only got about two hours of sleep he feels remarkably refreshed. His back isn’t even that bad either.

Poe stirs beside him and he turns cracking an eye open. “Morning,” he says groggily, and Finn can’t help smiling.

“Morning,” he replies and ducks down for a quick kiss because he can. Poe’s grin when he pulls back is enough to make Finn’s day.

“Can I wake up like this every morning?” Poe asks.

“I think that can be arranged,” Finn responds, and he can’t stop smiling. Neither can Poe though, so it’s alright.

Then BB8 starts beeping wildly informing them both that they have to get moving. With a groan they both get up and straighten out their clothes. Finn shrugs on Poe’s jacket and goes to the fresher to wash his face and brush his teeth. He stares in the mirror for a second trying to make sense of his life. All the good and bad that led him to this moment, and he finds for the first time, he doesn’t regret much anymore. He guesses it’s all just about a change of perspective… or you know, something like that.

“Hey Finn, was going to ask you last night, but forgot – will you be alright accompanying Rose on the mission? She’ll need an extra hand.”

“I don’t know coding,” Finn says coming out of the fresher.

“You won’t need to, if I understand it correctly, you’ll only have to hold some wires together or something.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Finn replies, but he doesn’t like it. It means he will be away from the talk, he won’t know what is being said and what information is being passed and he won’t be able to control things if something goes wrong. Yes, Rose needs protection, but surely anyone could do that? Or maybe Rose asked for him, needing someone she trusts to help her. He supposes he can live with that, but still…

He doesn’t say any of this though and just leaves the room heading down to the landing pad while Poe finishes getting ready.

He can’t help also having that feeling in the back of his mind that the reason Poe asked Finn to go with Rose is because he knows that Finn is useless anywhere else. Anyone can hold together a couple of wires, but anything bigger? Finn will surely screw it up. It’s a classic Finn move.

“Finn?”

Finn turns and sees Viola. She’s with a bunch of other people who are all looking at Finn curiously.

“Hey,” he replies awkwardly. He doesn’t really know what to say to her seeing as he still feels kind of mad at her, and right now he isn’t in the best mood so forgiving her isn’t exactly an option at the moment.

“These are your cousins,” she says, “I know you aren’t the happiest with me, but I thought you might want to meet them.”

Finn looks over at the others gathered around and forces a smile. She’s right, any other time he would be more than willing to meet them, after all they weren’t the ones who gave him away. Right now, though he’s not in the mood.

“It’s good to meet you,” he manages to say.

He gets a mix of nods and smiles in return.

“Finn, I just want to say good luck,” Viola says and there are tears glistening in her eyes.

“Thanks,” Finn says looking down at his shoes.

“I’ll be praying for your safe return,” she says, and damn it all Finn can see how much she cares and it is so conflicting.

“Okay… we can talk when I get back, and I can meet you all properly,” Finn says, looking around at them all.

“We’d like that,” Viola says.

Finn gives her a final small smile, this one a bit sincerer then turns and quickly walks into the ship. It’s weird, knowing that he’s leaving someone behind who will care whether or not he returns. He’s never had that before.

…

When Poe exits the fresher, he notices that Finn has already left and he knows that Finn is mad at him. He doesn’t even blame him, Poe is practically sending him on a milk run, if that’s what his part of the mission can be compared to. And the reason for Poe doing so is incredibly selfish. He’ll admit it.

Poe isn’t going to tell anyone this, but he is 99% certain that he will die today. Every scenario that he’s run through his head all ends up with him dead and he doesn’t want Finn near that.

Telling Finn to go with Rose is the only way that Poe can conceive Finn’s survival, and well, Poe will do anything to ensure that Finn survives.

It’s a strange feeling, knowing you’re about to die. You see the world a bit differently, it’s more colourful, more full of life and you are a walking dead thing who doesn’t belong in the world any more.

And Poe doesn’t know how to feel. On one hand he is eternally grateful for last night, but on the other hand now he will leave Finn and he feels incredibly guilty. Like he was using Finn, even though Finn instigated it. He should have stopped it.

All of these thoughts fly out the window when he sees his dad at the Falcon’s entrance. He storms up to him eyes blazing.

“You are not coming dad,” he snaps. Having his dad there to witness his death will be just… a thousand times worse… or he could also die as well, and Poe just can’t have that. He can’t.

“Yes I am,” Kes replies.

“It’s too dangerous,” Poe counters.

“All the more reason to come.” And Poe wants to scream. Why is his dad acting this way?

Lando comes up and pats his dad on the back. “I want him to come, he’s coming.”

His dad smiles and goes into the ship without another word. Poe stares flabbergasted after him.

“Oh cheer up, I’ll keep him out of danger,” Lando says. Poe doesn’t believe that one bit, but the damage is already done.

“Make sure he does not leave the cockpit,” Poe hisses, “promise me that. No matter what, you keep him with you and get him back safely, no matter what happens.”

Lando’s smile drops from his face as he assesses Poe. “You don’t think this is going to go well.”

“Doesn’t matter what I think, just promise me that.”

“Okay kid. I promise. I’ll keep him there, but you promise me you’ll do your best to stay out of trouble.”

And Poe wishes that were possible, but he knows it’s not. “I’ll do my best,” he replies, for he will, he just knows his best won’t be good enough.

Lando nods and heads on inside, Poe right behind him.

Together they run through the obligatory take off routine, and once everything’s set, take off into the air leaving Olcrest City behind, and for Poe at least, forever.

It’s a quick quiet journey, too quick for Poe’s taste. He wishes it would keep going, but it doesn’t. All too soon they reach the First Order starship and head towards the hatchway that opens up for them.

“Well here goes nothing,” Poe says, almost to himself even though Lando is right beside him. Lando doesn’t reply.

They enter the opening and set down; as suspected the hatchway doors close behind them closing off their entrance – at least for now. They are in a wide room with a bridge linking the landing pad to the other side where Kylo Ren is standing with ten soldiers. Multiple other bridges branch off from a central spot in the middle of the bridge. A glance up reveals that General Hux is standing in a glassed lookout, able to review and most likely hear everything.

Taking a deep breath, he exits the cockpit and goes to the Falcon’s entrance where everyone else is waiting. They are all waiting for him to say something, but he has no words. Instead he opens the ramp and walks out; the Senator hurries to follow behind him. The others crowd around the base of the Falcon, ready and waiting.

Poe and Senator Mandi stop at the centre and wait. Kylo Ren waits for a minute before approaching with three of his own soldiers following behind. The others stay back.

“Where is Rey?” Kylo Ren demands.

Neither Poe nor Senator Mandi responds.

“I can sense her, bring her out.”

“We’ll get to that later,” Poe says, “let’s discuss business first.”

“I have no business with you. Give me the girl,” Kylo Ren snarls.

“As the representative of the New Republic, I implore you to stop your mass genocide,” Senator Mandi interjects.

“You have no power over me. I killed all your main planets remember?” Kylo Ren hisses.

“All we want is peace,” Dhia says.

Kylo Ren chuckles. “All you want? Well you’re not getting it.”

The growing feeling of doom is reaching an all time high. Poe knew this was a stupid idea, his only hope is that Finn and Rose can unlock the doors soon. They have to get out of here.

…

Finn holds the trap door open for Rose to jump out of, and they both, with BB8, slip down underneath the Falcon. They quickly run to the far side of the bridge and hop over, crawling underneath. From there it’s using a lot of core strength to crawl along the underbelly of the bridge to the far wall where there should be a console that Rose can plug the codes into.

They are not even a quarter of the way there when her muscles already start to ache, and this is with her pills. She has to suck in deep breaths to keep moving, even though each step makes her want to scream in pain. She is rapidly falling behind Finn, who has taken the lead.

He turns and sees her falling behind and crawls back to her. “Keep going as planned, I’m going to take care of something else first,” Finn says then scampers off before she can ask what. She wants to curse at him, tell him now isn’t the time, but its too late and she dares not call after him for fear of being heard. Instead she focuses on getting to the panel as is the original plan.

She’s almost there when she hears Kaydel through the comm.

“Finn, report.”

“Almost there,” Finn replies.

Rose would have laughed if she wasn’t in so much pain. The little liar.

“Hurry!” Kaydel responds, and Rose swallows down a feeling of dread. She hasn’t even started coding and things have already gone wrong? She needs more time!

She pulls herself up onto the ledge beside the panel, with BB8 beside her. She can see Finn crawling rapidly towards her, seemingly coming from the centre where Poe, the Senator and Kylo Ren are standing. She briefly wonders what he was doing, but chooses not to worry. She has work to do.

She pulls up the panel and takes a look. “BB8 connect to that circuit,” she says, pointing to the plug in about five feet away. The droid dutifully goes and does what it’s told. To her annoyance she can’t do anything else until Finn arrives so she just sits there glaring at his approaching form.

“You good?” she hisses as he finally comes over.

“Sorry,” he whispers back, not looking sorry at all.

She’ll have words with him later. For now, “I need you to connect those two wires up there and hold them,” she says pointing to a couple of wires near the top of the panel. Finn does so without a word and once he does, a message pops up on screen. Taking a steady breath, she starts typing.

“We’re plugged in,” Finn reports to Kaydel. She can only hope they have enough time.

…

“Okay they’re in,” Kaydel says. Pellqua shakes her head. This was taking too long and Kylo Ren is going to force their hand soon.

“This isn’t going well,” Artero says unhelpfully and that is what snaps her into action.

“We aren’t getting anywhere. I have an idea,” she says and starts walking to the centre of the bridge.

“Pel!” Artero calls after her, but she ignores him.

As she approaches Kylo Ren the First Order soldiers hold up their blasters. Pellqua calmly puts her hands up in the air as she steps up beside Poe.

“Do you know how many people the New Republic have displaced?” she asks.

“Who are you?” Kylo Ren demands. Up close she can see that he is the epitome of a man child. The galaxy under his control is a horrifying thought. She can see its destruction in her minds eye.

“Pellqua Musqueo of the Qu’mquai people. Years ago, before the Empire, the Republic forced our people out from our homes. When the Empire was destroyed the New Republic refused to give them back, and worse started doing the same to other people. Do you want to guess how many they have displaced?”

“Why should I care?” Kylo Ren scoffs. And that’s the whole problem. No one cares, but they should.

“Because all of them are mad and all of them want revenge. And from their viewpoint, you are the person to get revenge on.”

“It was the Republic that did that to you, not me,” Kylo Ren spits back.

Pellqua laughs. “You are all the same, actually no – you’re worse. And to answer what you didn’t ask, there are millions of us. Millions of lost souls who are eager to tear you down. And we will, mark my words.”

“This is unacceptable,” the Senator admonishes.

Pellqua rolls her eyes. “I’m sorry Senator. I’m not here for peace talks.” Then to Kylo Ren, “Consider this a warning.”

Kylo Ren laughs. “You can’t stop me.”

“Oh yeah?” Pellqua challenges.

“Doesn’t matter how many people you have, you’ll never defeat me. Do you want to know why?”

Gotcha. “Enlighten me.”

Kylo Ren pulls out a little hologram. It’s of the star ship and coming out of it is this big contraption that folds out to reveal five huge guns.

Pellqua has no idea what it does, but needless to say, it’s not good news for the Resistance.

“Because I have this, and I don’t care how many lost little souls you have, you’re never going to be able to take this down.”

…

Poe stares at the hologram wondering how the hell Kylo Ren had the time to make such a thing and what exactly it does. He also wonders how they are going to be able to destroy it for it looks a bit more complicated than just entering a chute and blowing up the innards like they did for the Starkiller.

As he’s staring at the image in horror, the coms start blowing up.

“Oh dear,” D’Acy says.

“What is it?” Finn asks.

“It’s a big weapon, and it looks dangerous,” Kaydel replies. That’s one way of putting it Poe thinks wryly.

“Okay, that’s what we were looking for. Let’s start wrapping this up,” Lando says, and while he’s right, Poe isn’t sure that’s exactly possible now.

“This isn’t good. This is very bad,” Rey says, and Poe agrees with her sentiments whole heartedly.

Kylo Ren puts the hologram away and smirks at them. “Now. I’m done with these games. Bring me Rey before I unload my Stormtroopers on you.”

Poe thinks fast – Finn and Rose aren’t done with the codes, so they need to stall a bit more.

“We came here for peace talks. This is anything but.”

“Finn status?” Kaydel asks urgently over the coms.

“I’m almost done. You can head back,” he hears Rose say to Finn and Poe nearly breaths a sigh of relief, but manages to hold it in knowing that it would have looked out of place.

“Well I’ve changed my mind. Give me Rey,” Kylo Ren demands.

“Well, that’s not happening,” Poe says staring Kylo Ren straight in the eye, and as they have their silent internal battle Poe knows. He knows with sudden clarity that this is how he’s going to die. It becomes all the more apparent as Kylo Ren suddenly smirks.

“You know, I remember your mind. Such an interesting personality, yet so weak. I look forward to destroying it again.”

No. Not this. Not again. Please.

It’s no use.

Kylo Ren reaches out his hand and suddenly Poe’s entire world erupts in pain. He can feel Kylo Ren inside him, surrounding him, picking out his memories and pulling at them, tearing them apart. It’s excruciating.

Kylo Ren laughs, and Poe can hear it both from the exterior and inside of him. “Not such a great resistance hero now, are you? Look at all that love you have, it’s pathetic. Do you think I can kill you from just this?”

Poe collapses to his knees, but it hardly matters, he’s in too much pain to care. His cells are being split, his organs smashed together, blood is filling up his lungs, but that is not the worst part. The worst part is his mind being slowly ripped apart. All his memories, his ideas, his essence. Everything is being destroyed. Until there is nothing left. Until Poe Dameron doesn’t exist anymore.

Until it all goes black.

…

Rey stares out the cockpit window in horror as Kylo Ren starts torturing Poe and _she’s seen this before._ The vision last night where everyone dies. This is the first image. It’s happening, it’s real. The voice was right.

No.

“Do something!”

Rey turns and sees Key staring at her in desperation and panic.

Rey shakes her head as she turns back and stares out the window. She can’t, it’s all out of her control. He’s going to die.

No. She can’t let that happen. She can stop it.

With a shaking hand she reaches out to the window and tries to reach for the Force. It’s there, she can feel it, but it’s not listening to her. Why isn’t it listening to her? She screams in frustration.

“Concentrate child,” Lando says.

“I’m trying!” Rey cries out, but she can’t! She can’t do it.

Kes curses and heads for the exit, but Lando stops him by grabbing onto his arm.

“Let go!” Kes shouts.

Lando, however, will not be budged. “Your son ordered me to not let anything happen to you even if he was getting hurt or worse.”

“THAT’S MY CHILD OUT THERE!” Kes yells and Rey can feel his desperation and it only makes things worse.

“I’m sorry,” Lando says, but he still won’t move.

Rey can’t just sit there either. She has to do something.

“Move. I may be able to do something if I’m closer.”

“It’s not the distance that’s the problem,” Lando warns her, but she doesn’t care.

“I can’t do nothing,” Rey says, though she doesn’t know what she can do.

“It’s what he wants,” Lando says.

Rey doesn’t care; she forces her way past him, and hurries down to the ramp. Her mind a mess.

She reaches the entrance just in time to see Poe collapse to the ground, Kylo Ren standing over him looking victorious. She wants to tear his throat apart.

With a snarl she goes to attack him, but strong arms stop her.

“Trust me, it will be better if you stay,” Doctor Tru warns and she’s about to kick her way out of his hold when a blaster shot shoots out and knocks Kylo Ren’s lightsaber away from his body.

It’s Finn.

…

Finn is crawling back when suddenly there is so much static going on in his com that he has to take it off. A gut-wrenching feeling suddenly jolts throughout his body, and without knowing how, he knows something has gone terribly wrong. Forcing himself to go faster despite the pain in his back he manages to reach the far side of the bridge and climbs over, jogging over to Kaydel.

“Rose is almost ready, it should just be a few more minutes…”

He see’s Poe drop down on his knees.

Kylo Ren is torturing him.

Poe is being tortured.

Poe is in pain.

“What. Is. Going. On?”

“Kylo Ren is torturing General Dameron,” Kaydel says unhelpfully.

“Why is no one doing anything?” Finn demands. He can practically feel Poe’s pain. He pulls out a blaster and steps forward.

D’Acy puts a hand on his arm. “We have to stick to the plan.”

Ah yes the plan – where if someone can’t make it back to the Falcon, the rest are to leave them behind and get to safety once the doors are opened. The plan, now that Finn thinks on it, is something that Poe made sure everyone knew and that he had put in place.

The plan that Poe must have known would be the go to, and he had put himself up to be sacrificed so that everyone else could get back to safety.

Well,

“Screw the plan.”

Finn strides forward and shoots at Kylo Ren. The shot hits Kylo’s lightsaber and it goes flying off the bridge. Kylo Ren’s concentration is lost and Poe slumps to the ground unconscious. Finn quickly shoots the three other soldiers at Kylo Ren’s side.

“You. The traitor!” Kylo Ren screams.

So he recognizes Finn. Good.

Pellqua jumps in and fights the seven other soldiers behind Kylo Ren. The Senator hurries back to the Falcon. Finn goes to attack Kylo Ren.

He shoots another bolt at Kylo Ren, but this time Kylo Ren is ready and uses to the Force to stop it. Finn hisses and shoots another bolt, but again it gets stopped.

Kylo Ren pushes the two bolts off to the wall and then grabs onto Finn’s blaster with the Force. They yank back and forth, Finn gritting his teeth in an attempt to keep the weapon away from Kylo Ren.

Suddenly, in a sense of clarity, Finn lets the blaster go and it flies over Kylo Ren’s head and onto the ground behind him. While Kylo Ren turns to stare after it, Finn races forward.

Just as Kylo Ren turns back around, Finn punches him square in the face. He goes stumbling back, but Finn isn’t done yet. He grabs onto Kylo Ren’s jacket and punches him two more times, relishing in the feel of bone snapping underneath his knuckles.

Before he can get a fourth punch in, he gets Force pushed back and Kylo Ren scrambles away as the doors burst open and Stormtroopers start marching in and shooting.

Artero steps forward and lobs one of his silver balls, sending out a silver bolt of light where it lands and the front wall of Stormtrooper can no longer fire, but there are more coming out from different directions. Pellqua has taken care of the seven soldiers and has now turned and started fighting off Stormtroopers.

Finn jumps in, using his fists to knock Stormtroopers over until he manages to reach his fallen blaster and shoots at them.

He hears Rey scream.

No. Not Rey too.

He turns and breaths a sigh of relief to see that she is alright and in Doctor Tru’s arms, but she is holding out her arm like she wants to use the Force, but even Finn can see that whatever she is trying to do, it isn’t working.

Kylo Ren also notices Rey for he screams her name. “REY!”

Rey looks over at Kylo Ren and Finn wants to tell her to not listen, but he’s too busy fighting off Stormtroopers.

Kylo Ren points at Poe, who is still unconscious on the ground. “This is what the losing side looks like. You won’t win!”

And Finn wants to tear Kylo Ren apart limb by limb. And he would have if there weren’t so many damn Stormtroopers in his way.

Suddenly the connecting bridges snap back and the Stormtroopers on them fall down into the pit below. That must be Rose’s doing. The doors also slam shut, blocking anymore Stormtroopers from entering.

The exit doors open at the same time, which is their queue to leave.

“No!” Kylo Ren screams, and it’s the least the bastard deserves.

“Pellqua, let’s go!” Artero calls, and she turns killing two more Stormtroopers before running back to the Falcon, pulling Finn with her.

Finn fumbles in his pocket and finally reaches his little detonator and activates it, blasting up the bridge behind them so that no one can follow them. He had a feeling he would need to put those explosives there.

Finn is dimly aware of guns starting to move out from the wall and aim at them, but his entire focus is on Poe. While Pellqua runs on ahead, he drops down by Poe’s form and shakes him.

“Finn we have to go now!” Pellqua screams, noticing he’s no longer by his side.

“Poe, buddy, wake up!”

“FINN!” Pellqua calls.

Poe doesn’t move.

“Finn come on!” Rose screams.

And Poe isn’t moving and Finn can’t just leave him there, so he picks him up and runs after Pellqua to the Falcon.

One of the guns fires at Finn just before he reaches the Falcon, everyone else on board.

“No!” Rey screams, and Finn closes his eyes, expecting to be hit… but he isn’t. A glance over his shoulder reveals that the blast is stopped midair.

Rey has managed to use the Force to stop it. A look at her shows her shaking with the effort and Finn bounds the rest of the way onboard. The moment both feet are on board, the Falcon takes off and exits the starship.

However, the problems don’t end there.

Right at the entrance, Finn places Poe down on the ground and starts shaking him.

“Poe wake up! WAKE UP DAMMIT!” he screams.

Poe isn’t moving.

Doctor Tru comes rushing forward with his medical equipment. “Let me look at him.”

Finn can’t move away though. Poe doesn’t even look like he’s breathing and he’s deathly pale and Finn can’t. He _can’t._

Tears are falling down Finn’s cheeks but he doesn’t care. “Poe please… wake up.”

He isn’t moving. Something breaks inside Finn and the little presence inside of Finn that he hadn’t realized was there fades away, and Finn knows. Finn knows Poe’s gone.

“I need to look at him,” Doctor Tru orders, and Finn let’s himself be pulled back by Rose.

“Let him do his job,” she says, but Finn knows it’s too late. He’s gone. He’s dead.

“I can’t find his pulse,” Doctor Tru says and frantically reaches for some equipment.

Finn is in a daze. Nothing seems real anymore to him. While Doctor Tru is busy working he crawls back over to Poe and pulls his head onto his lap.

He’s not breathing anymore and his skin is so pale and cold.

Finn gently runs a thumb down his cheek, committing his face to memory. His cheeks look better when they are flushed he thinks abstractedly. He knows he’s losing focus.

Doctor Tru has managed to get a machine hooked up to Poe, but all it shows is a flatline. No heartbeat. No life.

“No!” Kes screams as he has comes down from the cockpit. He lunges at Poe’s body, but Artero stops him.

“You’ll be no help,” Artero says.

BB8 starts beeping like crazy and whirling around Poe. Rey and Rose hold onto each other crying. Doctor Tru is frantically getting an injection ready.

Finn takes this all in, but it doesn’t really register. All that matters is Poe.

“Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me,” he says.

Doctor Tru injects the substance into Poe and waits… but nothing happens.

And Finn suddenly snaps out of his melancholy and anger fills him. It consumes him till he can’t even see straight.

“That should have worked,” Doctor Tru says.

Kes half collapses in Artero’s arms. Everyone now seems to have realized that this is it. But no. Finn isn’t having this.

“DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE ME! YOU DON’T GET TO LEAVE ME! DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING DIE ON ME YOU BASTARD!” Finn screams and then he starts sobbing and sobbing and sobbing and he can’t stop, and he reaches, he reaches and reaches and until he finds something and _pulls_.

“Please….” He pleads, “please don’t go…”

Silence.

Beep… beep… beep…


	8. Past Enemies

“What exactly do you think you accomplished? Besides embarrassing yourself?” Hux demands.

Kylo Ren scowls and doesn’t look in his direction. Now is not the time for one of Hux’s little annoying outbursts. “Do not speak to me that way!”

Hux laughs. “Oh please. Everything you’ve done since taking over has been one disaster after the next. And you call yourself a Supreme Leader. You’re nothing.”

Kylo Ren whirls around and lifts Hux up by the lapels of his stupid jacket. “I said don’t speak to me that way!” he roars.

To his confusion and ire, Hux has the gall to smirk and then looks behind Kylo Ren and nods. Kylo Ren suddenly feels a sharp pain blossom at the rear of his skull.

He hisses dropping Hux, clutching his head in pain. “YOU DARE-”

“Oh calm down will you?” Hux sneers. “Your temper tantrums are so irritating. How do you expect to defeat the Resistance – which should be an easy task mind you – if all you care about is that girl?”

“The girl has made her choice. She will pay for it.”

“See, still on the girl,” Hux mocks.

Kylo Ren will not stand for this. “When will the weapon be ready?”

“Oh the weapon you displayed right in front of them, showing all of our plans. That weapon?”

“I showed it to them to show how doomed they are,” Kylo Ren hisses.

Hux rolls his eyes. “I’m assuming the element of surprise is foreign to you.”

Kylo Ren lets out a roar and Force throws Hux back against the wall. “WHEN WILL THE WEAPON BE READY?”

“Day after tomorrow,” Hux spits out, an unpleasant scowl on his face as he gets up and brushes himself off.

“Then that day will be the death of the Resistance,” Kylo Ren vows.

…

Beep… Beep… Beep…

“How…?” Sam breaths staring at the heart rate monitor where before had shown a flat-line but is now showing signs of life.

He looks back at Poe, who for all intents and purposes was dead just three seconds ago, and had been for awhile. Sam would have guessed that his heart rate stopped around the time Kylo Ren stopped mind torturing him, the jarring change being too much for his body to handle. Which left him dead for over ten minutes. He shouldn’t be alive now.

Finn is still holding on to Poe’s body. He has now stopped screaming, but he's crying into Poe’s hair, which is actually a more heart-wrenching sight than his screaming had been. A look around the room shows that everyone is in equal parts sorrow or shock.

He slowly moves to Poe’s side again and checks that yes, the heart rate monitor is still hooked up to him and hadn’t transferred over to Finn somehow.

“Finn,” he says lowly.

Finn looks up and his eyes are so dead that it makes Sam shiver. He chooses his words carefully. “He’s still alive-”

“What?” Finn exclaims, and like Sam predicted but had wanted to avoid, he turns Poe in his arms and starts shaking him.

“My son!” Kes shouts and he also throws himself at Poe, half pulling him away from Finn. Everyone else started murmuring or cheering, which just will not do.

“STOP!” he yells. It’s enough to make everyone shut up. “He may be still alive, but he’s in critical condition and I need _everyone_ to back away now.” No one moves for a second. “NOW!”

Artero moves forward and grabs Kes, dragging him back. Rose is the one who comes over to Finn, who still isn’t letting go of Poe.

“Come on Finn, he needs space.”

Reluctantly he gently lays Poe down and lets himself be pulled away by Rose, but not far. Sam quickly gets to work treating him right there instead of carrying him off, knowing there isn’t really a steady place on this blasted ship and he’ll have to wait till Olcrest City before he can do much.

Kaydel, bless her heart, starts shooing people out of the area till it’s only him, Poe, Finn and Kes. The later two staying at the far wall, but neither of them are inclined to leave.

It’s a silent trip back.

Once back at Olcrest City he immediately takes Poe to the hospital and hooks him up to all the required machines. His heart sinks as he looks over Poe’s internal diagnostic – his body is a mess. Organs are crushed, blood is filling his lungs, bones have weird fractures in them, and worst of all, his mind is showing activity that Sam’s never encountered before.

He shouldn’t be alive.

Sam looks over at the other doctors and nurses who are all looking at the scans in horror, wondering what horrible atrocities could have happened on their mission. Sam doesn’t say anything though. He just gets to work.

…

Rey sits in horror as she watches the surgery take place from up above. Finn, Rose and others are there as well but she hardly registers them. She made this happen. This is her fault.

The image of Poe collapsing out on the bridge keeps running in her mind over and over again. She could have warned Poe, could have at least said something, but instead she brushed aside the images because she hadn’t believed that they could have been true. They were all too horrible to comprehend, but they aren’t…

And if that happened to Poe… then that means her visions are going to happen to the others as well. They are all going to die… and Finn… she’s going to kill Finn.

She jerks out of her seat. No she can’t let that happen. She has to stop this.

She makes her way through the halls of the hospital, barely seeing where she’s going. She’ll take the Falcon and give herself up to Kylo Ren. That’s what he wants and he promised he would spare the planet if she went to him. It isn’t ideal, but it’s better than having them all die.

“Rey!”

She walks faster.

“REY!”

Footsteps, then a hand on her arm. She whirls around, arm pulled back ready to punch when she registers that it’s Finn. She doesn’t understand what he’s doing here. He should be back at the hospital standing vigil over Poe. Even in her messed up state she can feel his worry, pain and anger.

“Rey what is going on?”

Why does he care? He has enough to worry about without looking after her. She pulls herself away and turns around.

“Rey,” he pleads and he sounds so broken that Rey knows she at least owes him an apology.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Finn asks and Rey’s heart breaks. He always sees the best in people, she was never able to do that.

“I couldn’t stop him.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Finn says and he sounds angry, but not at her, but it is his anger that riles up her own, though it’s self-directed.

“He wanted to see me. He knew it would be my undoing if I talked to him, or at least I let myself think that. This whole meeting was a set up so that he could talk to me, and I walked into that full well knowing I wasn’t prepared.”

“Rey don’t.”

“If I had been on that bridge and faced him, Poe wouldn’t be in there.”

And that’s the thing. If she had given herself over to Kylo Ren like the voice in her head kept urging her to do then Poe would be safe and well.

“You don’t know that,” Finn argues.

“Yes I do!”

“If you had given yourself up to the Resistance where do you think that would have left us?”

“Why am I the marker everyone looks up to?” Rey hisses. Finn’s face clears.

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have to be. Listen, if you don’t feel like you are up for fighting the First Order anymore it’s okay, you don’t have to, but head to the Outer Rim, or something like that. Don’t give yourself up to Kylo Ren.”

“That won’t work.”

“Rey, what has gotten into you?” Finn asks and he looks so concerned.

Rey stays silent. She doesn’t want to tell him, she doesn’t want to tell anyone for it would show how weak she is and being weak is deadly. If you are weak you die, and that is how it goes – a hard lesson to learn when she was a girl, but one that had helped her in the long run.

Yet here she is, feeling weaker than she ever has before.

“I’m your friend and I always will be. Let me help you.”

Rey looks up. “I can feel the dark side. It’s calling for me and I keep fighting it, but now I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do.”

Finn shakes his head. “Rey, nothing good comes down that path.”

“I saw a vision – of Poe, exactly like what happened to him before we went to meet with Kylo Ren. I knew what was going to happen and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to believe it.”

“What?” Finn whispers looking horrified.

“And I’ve seen all your deaths and it’s happening because I’m not choosing the dark side. Poe’s was just the first.”

“Poe isn’t dead, and what you saw-”

“Everyone who gets close to me dies or gets hurt. Han, Luke, Leia, you, now Poe… I’m a curse. It’s no wonder my parents left me on Jakku. I’m this soul sucking monster that destroys everything I come across.”

“No, you’re not,” Finn says, and how is he still defending her? Didn’t he hear what she said? She’s the reason Poe’s dead for kriff’s sake.

Rey starts hyperventilating, and she can’t… it’s just too much. “I keep seeing your deaths! Over and over, every night and it’s always my fault! I KILL YOU!”

“Rey, look at me! It’s not your fault.”

Rey reaches out and grabs Finn’s hand, digging her fingers into his skin.

“Rey.”

She squeezes harder, not knowing why she’s doing so only feeling the need to tether herself to something, anything. If only to understand and make sense of her world, of what’s happening to her, them, everyone.

“Rey!”

She just needs to make it stop, make everything stop… oh. Wait a second. She feels it.

She takes a deep breath and concentrates pulling herself in entering into the part of her mind that she has been trying to ignore for too long now, but this time she’s not alone. No. This time she has Finn.

She opens her eyes and they are no longer in the streets of Olcrest City. In fact, they are far away from there. They are in a dark cavern that’s somehow slightly aglow with grey light.

“Where are we?” Finn asks, looking around in alarm.

She knows where they are, but she doesn’t answer. There’s no time.

There is passageway at the far end of the cave which she heads towards. She hears Finn follow behind her but doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t know exactly where it leads, but she knows she has to go there.

A deep chuckle fills the air.

“Rey…”

Rey ignores Finn. She has to face this.

They come to an opening that leads out to a little ledge above a canyon of sorts and a bridge links the ledge to the far side.

On the other side is Snoke.

“Well look who it is,” Snoke chuckles leering down at them. He is bigger than she remembers him, towering over them like they are ants. She is suddenly very off-tethered and where she had been certain about their location before now she is not so sure.

“I thought he was dead,” Finn says, panic in his voice. Rey did too, but then perhaps this is the reason behind all her troubles.

She takes a step forward. “Where are we?”

Snoke smirks. “Where do you think? Doesn’t it seem familiar?”

And that is exactly the answer that Rey had not wanted to hear, but had begun to realize. “We’re in my mind,” she says.

“Very good.”

And it’s just so unfair that this one thing couldn’t be easy, that this one thing that she thought she wouldn’t have to worry about turns out to be her biggest nightmare.

“Kylo Ren killed you,” she replies.

Snoke chuckles again, his laughter ringing out around the cave hauntingly. “My body yes, but I was controlling your body when he did so.”

And therein lies the answer. “You’ve been here this whole time.”

“Smart girl.”

“It’s been you – sending me all those visions.”

“Have you been enjoying them?” Snoke taunts.

“Get out of my head!” Rey screams, knowing that it won’t do anything.

Sure enough, Snoke laughs loud and clear. “Now why would I do that? Your power is so… delicious. You would make an excellent apprentice, much better than Kylo Ren.”

“Stop doing this to her,” Finn says stepping forward. She had forgotten he is here, yet she doesn’t turn to him. This is something she has to deal with on her own.

“Rey? Rey!”

Rey steps onto the bridge, leaving Finn behind despite his calls and starts slowly making her way across. She doesn’t know what she’s doing or has any sort of plan, but she can’t do nothing.

“That’s it join me my dear,” Snoke cajoles, and the weird thing is Rey wants to give in. It will be so much easier, there will be so much less pain. She knows this.

“Rey!” Finn calls.

She’s halfway across the bridge now and stops. She turns around and sees Finn still on the other side. For some reason he can’t get through and is staring at her desperately. No. She can’t join Snoke, she can’t betray her friend like that. The very friend that had tossed away his upbringing and everything he knew to get away from people like Snoke.

She turns back to Snoke. “I don’t want to join you.”

“Silly child,” Snoke hisses, “what do you think will happen if you continue this path? They will all die.”

The walls of the cavern all light up around them with images. The first one is of Poe’s body lying still in the medical bay.

“The pilot will not recover.”

“No!”

The scene changes to Rose being tortured, then Chewie is being pulled away in chains… BB8 being blown apart.

The Qu’mquai’s ships being shot out of the sky, the rest of the Resistance being taken down.

“Stop this!”

“Rey! He’s playing you. That’s not going to happen!” Finn calls out, but no that’s not true. She had seen what was going to happen with Poe before it happened. This is their future.

“Your light side can’t help them, it’s already too late,” Snoke calls out.

“Please, I don’t want this,” Rey cries out.

“Then join me.”

But she can’t. It’s not right.

The images slow down till only one remains. It’s of Finn.

“No…” she pleads weakly.

“The first person to ever care about you. He will die at your own hands,” Snoke declares.

And she can only watch in pain and horror as Finn’s image turns into Kylo Ren, then an image of Rey arrives. She see’s Kylo Ren and attacks him, slicing him through with her lightsaber. The illusion fades and Finn’s body drops in front of her. Dead.

Rey screams.

“That is where your madness will take you. You know it to be true,” Snoke shouts, his voice echoing around the room.

“Please, make it stop.”

“It is who you are, a sickness. Accept it and you’ll be so much stronger,” Snoke continues.

“No… I’m not…” she gasps but Finn’s death is still burned in her mind and she can’t concentrate.

“No one can help you except me. Embrace it, embrace the dark side.”

Snoke holds out a hand and beckons her towards him.

She stares at the hand. Is this what she wants?

No.

But what other choice does she have? Poe is already dead, she can’t lose the others… she can’t lose Finn.

She takes a tentative step towards Snoke.

“REY!”

Rey turns around and stares at Finn having forgotten that he is with her. She then gasps in horror as she sees ropes shooting out from the ground and wrap around Finn. They quickly reach up to his neck and start strangling him.

“Let him go!” she exclaims, looking back at Snoke.

Snoke smirks at her. “All you have to do is join me.”

“Rey.”

She looks back at Finn, but can hardly make out his form through the tears filling her eyes. Despite being strangled, he sounds calm.

“I believe in you,” Finn says.

She blinks away her tears and stares at Finn trying to figure out how he can still believe in her after everything he’s seen. He collapses to his knees, gasping for breath now. He doesn’t have long.

She turns back to look at Snoke, but as she does so a light catches her eye. There on the ground near her feet is Luke’s lightsaber.

“What are you looking at?” Snoke demands.

She quickly looks back at Snoke, stepping in front of the lightsaber to keep it hidden. “Why is the light side so much weaker than the dark side?”

Snoke chuckles. “Because those who use it are afraid of their true powers and never learn to grasp its potential. Don’t worry, once you join me you’ll never have to worry about that and you’ll become what you were meant to be.”

Rey turns back and stares at Finn. They make eye contact and hold it for several moments. The ropes tighten and Finn grimaces in pain, but he’s still holding on.

No. Lightness is strength.

She pivots and leaps through the air calling on the Force to pull the lightsaber towards her and activates it as she starts her downward projection. With a quick swing, she slices through Snoke’s body, exploding it into a million dark pieces.

She lands breathing heavily and stares around her as the pieces that are what is left of Snoke fall around her. She instantly feels the heaviness leave her mind, the darkness receding.

Then the cavern starts shaking and pieces start crumbling off.

She turns and sprints back down the bridge, relieved to see that the ropes are now gone and Finn is now running towards her, barrier gone.

The cavern is falling apart at an alarming rate.

“Rey!” Finn calls out and manages to reach her just as the ceiling collapses in.

There’s a bright flash of light.

…

Finn is jettisoned back into his body. It takes him a few moments to locate himself; he notices that Rey is across from him also breathing heavily and looking a bit pale.

“Did that just…?”

Rey nods. “Sorry.”

“He was in your…?”

Rey nods again, this time not saying anything.

“Was he why you couldn’t use the Force?” Finn asks, the day’s events becoming much clearer now.

“I think so,” Rey says with a grimace.

“Rey? Next time don’t hide something like that from me. I’m your friend, you shouldn’t have to deal with that alone.”

Rey smiles weakly. “I know, I will. Let’s hope there isn’t a next time though.”

“Please!” Finn breaths out, one mind twisting bad guy is quite enough thank you very much.

“Oh good, there you are!”

It’s Artero, jogging towards them. Right. The real world is still falling apart around them.

“There’s a meeting now to plan what’s going to happen next, you guys should probably come.”

“We’ll be there,” Finn replies, looking over at Rey who still looks a bit pale. “Just give us a minute.”

Artero nods then jogs away. Once he’s gone, Finn turns back to Rey.

“Are you okay?”

Rey nods and her expression becomes resolute and dark. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Kylo Ren?”

“Yes.”

And that’s the Rey he knows and loves. “Good. Cause I’ve got a plan.”

They quickly make their way to the communications base which has become their meeting room. Everyone is already there when they enter… besides Poe. Finn forces himself not to think of him.

Senator Mandi nods to them when they enter then steps forward. “I would like to start out by saying I made a mistake. The First Order cannot be reasoned with and I made the wrong judgement call.”

“Surprise surprise,” Pellqua mutters under her breath, though Finn is close enough to hear. Artero shushes her then turns to Finn.

“Finn, you have a plan?”

Finn nods and steps forward. “Yes, thank you. As you know, Kylo Ren showed us the schematics of his new weapon. BB8 could you please put that up on screen?”

BB8 rolls to the centre and projects the weapon Kylo Ren was talking about. Rose had retrieved the schematics for the weapon while code breaking and Finn had studied them while Poe had been in surgery needing something to distract his mind.

“So,” Finn continues, “as we know it has five main guns. They don’t have enough power to completely obliterate planets, but they do have the ability to do a ton of damage. The main goal of the weapon is to collect resources from the planets while simultaneously destroying them, but they aren’t ready yet. However, Kylo Ren is likely not going to wait before launching them in the hope of wiping us out. We have to stop them before that happens.”

“So how do you suggest we kill these suckers?” Lando asks.

“Rose?” Finn asks, knowing she had also studied the information closely and had more time to review the files.

“While setting off the doors I also managed to download some key First Order documents pertaining to the weapon. BB8, can you show them?” Rose asks.

BB8 switches to a new schematic.

“Since they are not yet fully complete, three of the guns have weak exterior defenses as we can see here,” Rose says pointing to three guns. “These guns can be taken down by fighter jets.”

“And the other two?” the Senator asks.

“They’ll have to be taken down from the control units located within the First Order’s starship,” Rose replies.

Groans fill the air.

“How can we even get inside? They have too many sensors,” Kaydel objects.

“We have one ship that can get through,” Pellqua speaks up, “a small three person only thing. We can get in and dismantle them.”

Lando however frowns at the schematics and enlarges them. “They spread out the control units in relation to the location of the guns. You won’t be able to get to the both of them in time.”

“How can they be dismantled anyways?” Artero asks.

“It’s a two-way system,” Rose says, “from what I’ve gathered, and correct me if I’m wrong, but we will need someone back here to receive a signal and send back codes to the people overriding their interior system. Maz, I’m hoping you can do this?”

“Of course,” Maz replies.

“Then I’ll go with you and Pellqua to set it off,” Rose tells Artero.

“What about the other one?” D’Acy reminds.

“I th-think I can be of service,” DJ inputs and Finn wonders why in kriffs sake is that disgrace of a man still here.

Rose glares at him. “No you won’t.”

However, much as Finn would like to ignore the fact, he has a sinking feeling they do need DJ.

“Actually, we night need that,” he says, knowing he’s probably going to regret this. “DJ, you go with Pellqua and Artero. Rose, you and Chewie can handle the other one.”

Rose shoots him a look, but if anyone can keep DJ in line, it’s Pellqua. They’ll have to take this chance.

“How are Rose and Chewie going to get in?” Rey asks.

“Lando?” Finn inquires.

Lando grins. “Thought you’d never ask.”

“While that’s great and all, but that is just the weapon being destroyed. That doesn’t solve the actual problem,” Senator Mandi intervenes, and Finn’s glad she brought that up.

“That’s where the bulk of my plan comes in,” Finn says, “but first, we’re going to need every hand on deck to head out to the areas currently being attacked by the First Order.”

“Our people are ready to fight,” Pellqua says.

“Ours too,” the mayor of Olcrest says.

Everyone turns to look at the Senator. She looks around and nods. “The New Republic will fight, but we need assurances. What is this plan?”

Finn nods. He can provide that. “I’m going to start a revolution.”

There’s silence for several moments.

“What?” Kaydel asks.

Finn grins. “You’ll see.”


	9. The Battle Part 1

The first thing he registers is pain.

His entire body feels like it was ripped apart then sewn back together haphazardly. He tries to locate himself. At the very least figure out what happened, but it’s all just a blur. He can hardly even remember who he is.

Poe Dameron. His name’s Poe Dameron… and he’s a pilot. Things start getting fuzzy after that.

He opens his eyes and registers that he’s in a hospital of some sorts, not surprising considering the pain he’s in.

“What happened?” he asks, more to himself than anything, movement at the corner of the room catches his eye however.

“General Dameron is awake! Oh good news, good news indeed.”

It’s a gold, humainoid droid and for a second Poe stares at it blankly. Then it all comes back in a rush and it’s too much.

He gasps and struggles to do something, anything but it seems like his body is not ready to respond to him.

“Hey, son, take it easy. Settle down.”

Dad? What is he….? Oh.

Wait.

No.

“What happened?”

Does he really want to know the answer to that question?

“Everyone got out safe,” his dad says, and Poe closes his eyes in relief. “Except for you.”

And okay, Poe deserves that. He opens his eyes and see’s that his dad is angry. No, he’s furious.

“I’ve been talking to Finn.”

And under any other circumstance Poe would be thrilled, but he knows their talk had nothing to do with them bonding.

“He thinks that you went off to meet Kylo Ren with the purpose of dying.”

“I didn’t want to die,” Poe argues, “and look I didn’t.”

“Don’t give me that,” his dad hisses.

“Dad, I don’t want to talk about this now. Can you just tell me what’s the plan? What are we going to do about that weapon?” Poe asks, needing to focus his mind on something else. His mind keeps slipping back to images that he doesn’t want to see and thinking back to the incident is not helping.

His dad, however, does not look like he wants to back down.

“Finn has a plan, they’re setting out in under half an hour,” C3PO supplies, and bless that droid's heart. Poe knew he could count on it.

“Shut up!” his dad hisses, but Poe is already unhooking himself from the machines.

“Poe! Stop it.”

Doctor Tru comes into the room and funnily enough, looks resigned. “What is it with all my patients running off on me?”

“I have to go help,” Poe says.

“They don’t need your help,” his dad snaps, pushing Poe back on the bed. The room spins for a horrible few moments and by the time he comes into focus again his dad is already trying to hook him back up to the machines.

Doctor Tru is standing to the side looking over a pad, a frown marring his face.

“I’m not sitting on the sidelines,” Poe protests, because he can’t. He can’t just sit still while others risk their lives.

“You are not going out there,” his dad responds.

“Yes I am!” Poe shouts back and jumps off his bed, pushing his dad away. He feels a flash of guilt at the hurt that crosses his dad’s face, but he won’t be kept out of this fight.

“Doctor tell him he can’t.”

Doctor Tru stares down at the screen for a few very long silent moments, then looks up grimly. “Physically, there is nothing wrong with him.”

“See!” Poe exclaims, even though even he can see that Doctor Tru is lying.

“You cannot be serious,” his dad retorts, his eyes flashing.

“From his current brain scan everything looks functional,” Doctor Tru replies, though he keeps the scans well hidden. Poe doesn’t want to know why that is, or what is really wrong with him. All he cares about is that he has practically been given permission to go fight and he’s going to take it.

“Good, then I’m going,” he says, heading towards the door.

“You almost died!”

And that stops Poe short. Fuck.

“I almost lost you, and I have never… I’ve already lost your mother. I can’t lose you too.”

Poe’s resolve almost wavers. He would like nothing more than to run into his dad’s arms and pretend he’s just a child again and his dad can protect him from all the bad in the galaxy. But he’s not. He’s the General of the Resistance and it’s his job to make sure that other dads can give their children a sense of safety.

“Dad, you were the one who always taught me that I had to do the right thing. The First Order has to be stopped, you know this,” he says, still facing the exit, not strong enough to face his own dad.

“But you don’t have to go out there.” And Poe’s heart hurts at how broken his dad sounds.

“Yes I do.”

“Everyone will understand. Dammit! You’re not included in their plans.”

Poe turns around and it hurts to see the tears in his dad’s eyes and the brokenness in his body, but he can’t stay. He just can’t. “You know why I have to do this.”

There is a long pause and they just stand there looking at each other, full well knowing that this might be the last conversation they have together, but in Poe’s eyes this time is already extra. He doesn’t know how he’s still alive or why, but he’s running on borrowed time.

“Why do you have to be so much like your mother?” his dad finally asks and Poe knows that he’s accepted it. And while Poe’s grateful for that, it doesn’t make it any easier. He tries to make it though.

“Probably has to do with the good looks.”

His dad laughs weakly and walks over, pulling Poe into a hug. Poe swallows down the pain that runs through him at the touch. “Don’t die on me son.”

And Poe wishes he can say he won’t. Wishes he can promise that he will return, that he won’t get hurt, that everything will be alright. But he can’t.

“I love you,” he says instead, and he knows that isn’t enough, but it’ll have to do. He pulls back gently and quickly exits the room without looking back, knowing that if he does so it’ll ruin him.

He makes his way to the landing pad. Everyone is getting ready, running around fueling up jets and grabbing equipment. His mood lifts a tiny bit when he spots Pava and Snap by their X-Wings, but then he’s just reminded of the others and his mood drops again.

He manages to push some of those thoughts away by the time Pava looks up and notices him, a brilliant smile spreading across her face.

“Poe Dameron! My is it ever good to see you!” she yells and races over to him, pulling him into a huge hug. He has to bit his lip to keep the scream of pain silent. When Snap joins in the mix it just makes everything so much worse and black dots form in his vision.

Thankfully, BB8 rolls up telling them to all back up so that he can talk to his Master. They all laugh and Poe kneels down and gives his droid a hug, sighing in relief when the action doesn’t cause him any pain. At least he can still interact with his droid.

<I was so scared!> BB8 beeps.

“I know buddy, I’m sorry, but I’m fine – see?” Poe says, flashing a grin. BB8 looks him over and Poe can tell it doesn’t believe him. Before it can say anything else however they’re interrupted.

“Poe?”

And it’s the most blessed sound Poe has ever heard in his entire life. He whirls around, a huge grin spreading across his face as he spots Finn. Rey and Rose are also right behind him and thank the Maker all of them are alright.

Finn rushes to him and pulls Poe into a hug and Poe’s heart sinks. Whereas normally Finn’s hugs are the greatest gift imaginable, he can only feel revulsion at the touch and he stumbles backwards. His heart breaks at the look of hurt on Finn’s face, but he can’t bring himself to force a hug again.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit sensitive still,” Poe mutters and the others nod and step back, though Finn still looks like a kicked puppy and Poe hates it.

“Are you okay?” Rose asks.

Poe fakes it, for it’s all he can do. “I’m pretty good all things considered. But what happened? How did we get out?”

“Finn started beating the crap out of Kylo Ren, pretty sure he saved your life.”

“My hero,” Poe breaths, looking over at Finn and he really wishes he could touch Finn at the moment because he would give anything to feel the warm embrace of Finn’s arms around him again. But even just the thought makes him want to throw up.

“Just doing what anyone would have done,” Finn says, and his eyes are tight and his voice is toneless. It’s all wrong.

A horn blares.

“We’ve got to get going,” Rey says, glancing between him and Finn in concern.

Finn springs into action. “Right, well Poe you can find Senator Mandi, she’s—”

“I’m going up in the air,” Poe says, voice leaving no room for argument. Finn looks like he’s about to protest, but Pava jumps in, having his back.

“Knew he’d say that. We’ve got a jet ready for you General.”

“Thank you Pava, I owe you one.”

“Don’t you always.”

Poe resolutely doesn’t look at Finn as he walks towards the jet prepared for him. It isn’t his Black Wing, but it’ll do.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Rose asks nearly making Poe jump out of his skin.

He looks over at her, ready to throw her a false smile or something of the sort but the look on her face makes him stop. It’s concerned, but understanding and for a second he just stares at her trying to figure out what his life is coming to. He comes up with nothing.

Instead, he smiles and nods again then starts climbing up into his X-Wing. Another horn blares and by the time he looks back, she’s gone.

…

“Sir the guns are ready to load,” one of the soldiers informs Hux and Kylo Ren.

“Proceed,” Hux says.

Kylo Ren closes his eyes and pulls on the Force. Yes, he can feel something happening. “I can sense them coming, be prepared for an attack.”

Which reminds him what he needs to do.

“Oh and where are you going?” Hux sneers.

Kylo turns back and smirks. “To prepare.”

As he walks out he can hear Hux giving out orders:

“All units, battle positions. Power up the guns.”

“What about the units on mission sir?”

“Tell them to keep attacking.”

Yes, victory is soon going to be his.

…

Pellqua stares out of their little transport vehicle trying to steady her mind. She prayed to her ancestors earlier, but she doesn’t call on them again at this moment. Whatever is to happen, it will come to pass as it is meant to be. That is what she is telling herself anyway.

Artero and DJ are snipping back and forth about the best way to enter the Starbase, but she isn’t listening. The Force is humming around her, alive as always and its energy stable. It is not charged like it was when they visited Kylo Ren the first time so at least that is reassuring, but she knows that the Force isn’t always a good indicator of what is to come.  

“Relax, I know what I’m doing,” DJ sneers and Pellqua can’t ignore the conversation anymore. The man is a rat and she disapproves of him coming along this mission. Surely someone else could have been taught the codes, but there is no point of dwelling on that now.

“Finn and Rose don’t trust you, so don’t think for a second that I’m taking my eyes off you,” she snaps at him.

“Tough crowd,” DJ cajoles, looking far too gleeful for the mission at hand.

“Quiet,” Artero snaps and they both shut up while he maneuvers their ship past their shields somehow – she doesn’t share Artero’s knack for machinery and fancy weapons though she is forever grateful for them. They have saved their lives more times than she can count.

They dock without a hitch and Artero ensures that the ship’s cloaking device is properly running before he allows them to exit. As soon as she steps foot outside of the ship she feels the darkness of the Force surround her and it almost makes her gag. It has been bent and twisted so much that it is hardly even recognizable to her. Only the worst of the worst would dare dabble in such things.

She forces herself not to pay too much attention to it, knowing it’s not her job and makes her way to the far door and peers through. Empty.

DJ comes up behind her and makes quick work of the door and they are through.

It’s a lot of stop and go at that point, with them having to hide and backtrack multiple times as units of Stormtroopers march past.

They are nearly at their control room when a soldier turns the corner nearly bumping into them. Before the soldier can even make a sound, however, Pellqua leaps over and knocks him out.

“Nice one,” Artero murmurs as he helps her drag the body into a storage unit. She gives him a small smile before checking that the coast is clear.

“Come on, it’s not much farther,” she says, leading the way.

Thankfully, the rest of their journey passes uneventfully, much to Pellqua’s surprise, but instead of giving her confidence she feels wary. Something is going to happen.

Still, they enter the control room easily enough, and at the centre is this huge machine that controls one of the five guns. She can’t make heads or tails of it, but she hopes DJ can.

DJ however is just standing around like he’s on a holiday, making no move to approach the thing.

“Get to work,” she growls.

“Well that’s not very n-nice,” he stutters out and it only further annoys her. Instead of responding, she jabs him in the back with her blaster, pushing him forward.

He scowls, but makes his way towards the thing.

The moment he touches the controls alarms start blaring.

“What did you do?” Pellqua hisses. Of course he would set off a trap.

“I didn’t do anything!” DJ exclaims, and from his wide eyes and frantic expression she believes him, but that doesn’t make things any better.

“Get me eyes on that thing,” Maz instructs over the com. Artero pulls out a camera and brings it over to the machine, letting it run over the wires. Pellqua doesn’t know how much help that’s going to do.

Stormtroopers start pouring into the room and Pellqua internally groans. Looks like they are fighting earlier than expected.

She quickly lobs one of Artero’s weapon freezers to the first bunch then leaps into the mix, wielding her staff.

“Do you know what’s wrong?” the Senator asks over the com and Pellqua has to grit her teeth to keep herself from sending a scathing retort back over the link. Now is most definitely not the time.

“The thing was triggered with a human detector. DJ, you can still work on it though. Rose, watch out, it’s probably on yours too,” Maz says.

And isn’t that just great. Why hadn’t they thought of that before running head long into a trap?

DJ curses, sharing her sentiment, but he gets to work, trying to at least get something out of this disaster of a plan.

More and more Stormtroopers come pouring into the room. They don’t seem to stop.

Artero has thrown a couple more of his weapon freezers, but they can’t get them all and he’s quickly running out of them. Pellqua has a sinking suspicion that they will die on this blasted ship. She can only hope that her people will finally get the justice they deserve.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees DJ stop inputting code and look over at the Stormtroopers that are still coming into the room.

She can see the exact second he decides to betray them.

“Oh no you don’t,” she mutters, and before he has even moved two steps she swings her staff around and shoots him in the back. He drops to the ground dead and Pellqua doesn’t feel an inch of remorse.

Of course, his death led to another fresh wave of Stormtroopers entering the room. It just never ended.

“DJ’s dead,” Artero supplies through the com.

“He was almost done. Someone just has to pull out the main quarter canister. I can finish the rest from here,” Maz replies.

“On it!” Artero calls out and runs over to the machine, forcing Pellqua to get in a position to cover him. She spins and shoots and does her best, but she knows they won’t last long. Even with the poor aim of most of the Stormtroopers it’s dozens of them against the two of them – they don’t stand a chance.

Artero pulls the capsule out and thankfully it shuts down. At least they managed to finish their part of the mission.

He lets out a whoop and that breaks Pellqua’s concentration for just a moment. Just long enough that she misses the bomb one of the Stormtrooper throws next to her. Misses the sound of it’s beeping.

She turns back and only at the last second does she see it and all she can think at the moment is oh no.

Then it detonates, there is pain, then it’s darkness.

…

Rose holds onto her body, as if trying to squeeze the pain away. Some of the Qu’mquai people had given her some of their own medicine to help her and it had worked for the past two days, but well, they had all left to the planets in need of aid before she could get another dose.

And she dared not go to Doctor Tru. Even avoiding him she could see that he was not in the mood to be dealing with such things. Besides, she doesn’t want to admit that he’s right.

This will be her last mission before she gets treatment. She promises, no matter what the outcome is.

She only hopes she will be able to outlive it.

Lando expertly maneuvers the Falcon into one of the little hangars of the Starbase and with the help of Artero’s little cloaking device, manages to hide the ship. As it sets down, an uneasy feeling settles in her stomach. Rose doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t think she can.

She has to though. People are counting on her. Her sister is counting on her.

Everyone gathers around the Falcon’s exit. There is a grim determination on all the other’s faces so Rose forces her own expression to match theirs. She feels anything but determined though.

“Ready?” Finn asks them all.

“Let’s hope so,” Rey replies while Chewie roars. Rose can only nod.

“Hey, I believe in you,” Finn says to Rey.

“I believe in you too,” Rey replies, and it’s an intimate moment that Rose feels she shouldn’t be a part of.

“May the Force be with us,” Finn says, breaking eye contact with Rey and looking around to Rose, Kaydel, Lando, and Doctor Tru.

“Good luck guys,” Lando says and Rose can see his weariness, his age. He has had to live through two tyrant rulers already. She wonders if it will always be like that. If there will always be evil, twisted people who use the Force for their own gain rather than good.

She doesn’t like the thought.

Finn opens the door and exits, Rey right behind. Rose and Chewie follow after them, but not before she hears Kaydel ask Doctor Tru if he’s ready.

“Nope,” he replies.

“Me neither,” she responds.

And doesn’t that just set the mood?

Rey is the first one to disappear and Rose watches her go a strange twist forming in her stomach. She's worried for her and hates that Rey will have to deal with Kylo Ren alone, especially with what Rey's told her, but she can't do anything about it now. She has her own mission she has to complete.

As they sneak off to their control room things already start to go bad. Not for them, but for Pellqua’s group who arrived at their gun controller before them.

Rose can hear beeping and panicking over the com and Rose just knows this is all DJ’s fault, despite what Maz says. She’s going to tear DJ apart piece by piece the next time they meet.

Maz warns Rose to watch out for the trigger at her own machine, which is hardly fair since she has no idea what to look for. She’s not a master coder, her expertise is in the machinery, why was she even chosen for this part of the mission?

Rose and Chewie reach the control room and Rose looks around, having no idea what to look for.

“Maz, how do I not set off the trigger?”

“There should be a panel at the side of the room, you can switch it off from there,” Maz replies, and how she knows that is beyond Rose.

Rose looks around and, surprise surprise, there is no panel. “Chewie, any idea?”

Chewie moans and of course Rose doesn’t understand what he’s saying, but he’s not pointing at anything either which is an indicator enough.

“Fantastic,” she mutters. This really is her day.

“Rose, what’s your progress?” Maz asks, and Rose half wants to yank her com out of her ear. There is no bloody panel!

She runs her hands over the smooth walls, desperately trying to find a groove or a switch, but there’s nothing She stomps back to the centre of the room and stares at the machine. Maybe this one won’t have a trigger.

That is too much to ask.

She then sees a little switch on the ground and rushes over to it. Praying alarms won’t start blaring, she flips it and to her glee, a wall slides open revealing a panel.

“There you are! Maz, I’m in.”

“Okay then, there should be a blue chip connected to the panel under three buttons.”

For once there actually is said chip right where it’s supposed to be. “Yeah, I see it.”

“Take it out,” Maz says.

She pulls it out but nothing happens. She waits a few more moments, but again, nothing. “Okay, what now?”

“It should be okay to disable now,” Maz replies. Rose thinks that’s a bit too easy, but seeing as she won’t be able to figure it out on her own either way, she goes over to the machine. Taking a deep breath she reaches out and taps on the controls. Nothing happens.

Breathing out in relief she gets to work.

Of course, her relief is short lived – three First Order soldiers enter the room mere minutes later. Chewie deals with two of them, but one of them manages to escape, surely going to bring in reinforcements.

“Okay, hurry up Rose,” she mutters to herself sending the first wave of code to Maz to decode. Black spots are starting to appear in her vision and to her horror she realizes she is not going to last long. She prays she can hold out until her part of the mission is complete.

Distantly she can hear the chatter from Pellqua’s team and notes that they are in real trouble, but she can’t quite understand what it is. Nothing is really making any sense to her anymore. She has to bite down on her tongue to concentrate when Maz sends the first portion of code back. She quickly inputs it and taps her foot impatiently as it loads.

Her hands are now shaking at an alarming rate and her legs feel like they are going to collapse any second. She forces herself to take deep, steady breaths as she gathers up the second bunch of code to be sent off.

Behind her Chewie starts shooting and she knows they’ve run out of time. The Stormtroopers are upon them.

“Done,” Maz informs her, and if the last thing she’s going to do with her life is deactivate a genocidal weapon, then Rose is okay with that. With her last bit of strength she reaches over and pulls out the capsule, smiling to herself as she notes the power come to a halt.

Then her body seizes up in pain and she drops to the floor.

Blackness surrounds her.

…

Poe has always loved flying, it practically runs in his veins. Ever since he could walk he dreamed about flying up with the stars and his mother had done nothing to discourage him, no rather she supported his dreams every step of the way, despite Kes’ grumbles and warnings.

Poe was born to fly.

So why did it feel so foreign to him now?

He knows what to do, the controls easily bending to his will, but there is just something wrong with this whole situation. He no longer feels welcomed and it’s a scary realization for flying has been the only place where he ever felt truly at home ever since his mom died. He can’t have lost this comfort. He just can’t.

He tells himself that it’s because of his nerves, and the recent mind attack and everything else and that once this is all over he’ll be fine.

He doesn’t dare contemplate what will happen if that’s not true.

“Okay team, let’s get into formation and attack Gun 3. You all know what to do,” he informs his black squadron… or what is left of them. They also are joined with a couple of Qu’mquai pilots and a few others from the New Republic. All of them are willing to let Poe lead, which should be encouraging, but Poe can’t help but feel like it’s a mistake.

He’d rather not be the one making decisions that could end up getting people killed. Not with his mind the way it is.

He can’t change that now though.

The X-Wings all spread out and start shooting at the TIE fighters that approach them. Poe remembers flying in one just a month ago with Finn, and had it only really been a month? It feels like years have passed since then, and Finn has become such an integral part of Poe’s life that he can’t imagine a world without him. His life before Finn now seemed so bleak in comparison.

Still, thoughts of Finn are not helping.

He quickly turns his ship to the right, forcing two TIE fighters to crash into each other and approaches the First Gun. “Cover me while I take this sucker down,” Poe calls out and they all get into formation without a hint of hesitation.

“Copy that Black Leader!” Pava whoops, shooing down three TIE fighters in a row.

It’s almost like old times, yet not. The absence of Iolo and Kare is far too loud for Poe to pretend that his Black Squadron is whole.

Still, he gets to work, shooting at the guns weak points, and dodging fire that managed to get through his team.

After a few minutes work, he manages to disengage the gun from it’s joint and it goes floating off into space in flames.

Through the coms cheers ring out and Poe lets himself smile. He’s got this.

“Okay team, on to the next one.”

They all do a swoop around the ship and then focus on the fourth gun. They are about to deploy the same strategy when the Starbase starts shooting giant tracking missiles at the X-Wings, blowing up a bunch of them in a matter of seconds. Everyone else scrambles and Poe’s heart sinks.

He is not mentally prepared for this battle, yet he has to be. He can’t let his team down.

He turns his ship around and starts targeting the trackers, trying to stop as many of them as possible before they reach the X-Wing they have targeted on.

Then one of them targets on Poe’s X-Wing and he has to fly to save his own skin. He pulls off incredible stunts trying to get rid of the blasted thing, but it stays resolute.

BB8 beeps.

“Yeah, I know buddy, just hang in there,” Poe responds, yanking his ship upwards to avoid another tracker. It explodes into a TIE fighter behind him which is nice, but the original tracker is still on his tail.

“Poe!” Pava calls out, “Wexley’s targeted.”

“In a bit of a bind Pava,” Poe calls back, having to do a barrel role then a dive down. He doesn’t even know where his team is anymore.

“Guys, I’m trapped!” Wexley calls out, and then his com link runs dead. Poe turns his ship and sees the explosion of what used to be an X-Wing.

“No!” Poe breaths out, staring at it in horror. Memories, dark ones, start trickling in and for a second he freezes, letting his X-Wing just list in space.

“POE!” Pava screams, yanking him out of his episode and he yanks his ship up just in time to prevent his own ship from also exploding.

BB8 starts spewing a lot of curses in binary at him and Poe knows better than to give excuses. He has none.

He shouldn’t even be out here. His dad was right, he is in no shape to lead a squadron, kriff, he’s in no shape to even fly.

“We’ve got to get rid of these things,” Pava calls out through the com sounding tense, but choosing to ignore Poe’s near death. Poe’s grateful for that.

“Regroup,” Poe calls out, and those who are left attempt to get back into a semblance of formation. That, however, is impeded by the trackers still on more than half of their tails and to make matters worse, hundreds more TIE fighters come out of the ship, as if they had been waiting for them to be at their weakest.

Poe knows his borrowed time is up.

…

The moment Rey steps out of the Falcon she can feel him. He is waiting for her and he is smug. So certain that he will defeat her.

If the fight had been two days ago he would have, but today Rey actually has some confidence back. This fight won’t be as easy as he thinks.

Taking a breath to steady herself and tune herself in with the Force, she makes her way through the ship.

_I can sense you. You cannot hide from me Rey of Nobody._

It’s Kylo Ren, somehow able to make his voice project in her head despite her blocking off the link. No, it’s not in her head, it’s throughout the ship. He’s broadcasting to anyone who’s paying attention to the Force. The realization eases her.

“You don’t scare me anymore,” she responds.

_Come to redeem me?_ He cajoles.

“You are past redemption,” Rey spits out. She had been a fool to think she could have changed his mind.

_But it is never too late to join the darkside._

Rey reaches the room he's staying in and though she rolls her eyes at Kylo Ren’s idiotic comment she can’t help but feel a bit of unease. This room is practically oozing with the dark side of the Force.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” she manages to reply, needing to keep up appearances.

“One day you’ll see,” she hears Kylo Ren say through the door, “or maybe you won’t. I don’t care, either way, I win.”

She can’t stay outside any longer. She enters the room and sees Kylo Ren standing at the huge window, looking out it at the space battle going on. She forces herself not to look too closely at what is happening, knowing she’ll be too distracted if she does so.

“Took you long enough,” he sneers.

“Face me.”

He turns around and Rey wants to laugh – he looks nothing like the put together man she saw in her nightmares and illusions. Thinking back on it, it’s silly that she didn’t recognize the scam sooner. Kylo Ren’s skin is swallow and his eyes have a manic gleam to them, not to mention the dark circles surrounding them showing lack of sleep. His hair is greasy and limp and his sneer reminds her of a pouty child instead of a menacing tyrant.

Still, she can sense the power emanating off of him and knows she has to be careful.

“So you’ve come to fight. Pity. Last chance to join me,” Kylo Ren drawls, like this is all a game to him and people aren’t dying right this very second because of him.

“Never.”

“Very well.” He pulls out his lightsaber and activates the signature red cross. Rey elongates her staff, full well knowing how pitiful it looks compared to his weapon.

Kylo Ren looks at her staff and laughs. “A stick? Really?”

“Still going to take you down,” Rey shoots back.

“As if,” he sneers and he leaps over to her, bringing his lightsaber down in a mighty blow. Rey parries the attack but it soon becomes apparent that she can only really defend with her weapon. Anything else would leave her too open.

They both jump back and circle each other.

“We could have been great together,” Kylo Ren taunts.

“No we wouldn’t.”

And this time she is the one who attacks, hoping to get the upper hand this time. She manages to get a couple of hits in, but with her staff it doesn’t do more than bruise and make Kylo Ren angry. He pushes her away and jumps up on a ledge.

She stays where she is, knowing better than to follow him.

“Pathetic. You call yourself a jedi – you can’t even make your own lightsaber.”

And yes that stung, but she’s hardly had the time.

“Stop backing away and face me!”

Kylo Ren smirks and jumps back down, clashing their weapons together. They pair blows back and forth for awhile, neither gaining the upper hand, but then the ship shudders and Rey loses her balance.

Kylo Ren brings his lightsaber down across the outer side of her stomach, cutting it open and _burning._

She screams and reflexively slams the staff into Kylo Ren’s head, but it hardly does anything except make Kylo Ren snarl. He Force pushes her back and it only further aggravates her injury. Pain consumes her, she can’t move.

Kylo Ren slowly saunters over to her, mocking her.

“You see? You were never a match for me.” He pauses, looking her over with his evil eyes making her skin crawl. “You know, I’m in a grateful mood so I’ll give you one more chance. Join me and this will all be over.”

She laughs, for it’s the only thing she can do – weaponless and injured on the ground before him. But she will never give him what he wants. She will die before that.

And so, she closes her eyes and lets the Force take her away.

…

It’s all so familiar walking through these halls. Though he was seldom given shifts on this ship, they were all the same – immaculate walls, synthetic lights, and a horrible cold feeling surrounding everything. It only further serves to reinforce Finn’s belief that he never belonged here. And if he is successful in his mission today, he can convince others that they don’t belong here either.

He prays that he will be, for if he isn’t a lot of people are going to die today. And it will be Finn’s fault, for he is the one this mission’s strategy hinges on.

He needs to be successful. He can’t be the screw up that he has let himself believe he is.

He stops outside one of the entrances to the sleeping quarters and pulls up the duty logs. Rooms 34-73 still have Stormtroopers inside them. The closest room to him is 42 so that is the one he heads to. Hopefully a couple of them will have good heads on their shoulders.

He arrives outside of the room and sets off the lights inside. For Stormtroopers, making a dramatic entrance was a sure way to get their attention. He lets the lights flicker back on then opens the door stepping inside. Five Stormtroopers are inside looking at each other in confusion.

It’s showtime.

“Do you want to die today?”

One Stormtrooper leaps at him, but Finn easily knocks him down. The others are looking for weapons, but weapons were never allowed in sleeping quarters. Perhaps he shouldn’t have started out with something so ominous, but this would have likely been their reaction even if Finn had just said ‘hey’.

“I used to be one of you,” Finn continues, “some of you probably knew me – FN-2187.”

They all freeze.

“You! The traitor!” one of them shouts.

Finn is actually quite proud of that designation. He’ll wear that proudly. “Yeah, I’m a traitor, but ask yourselves – what did I betray?”

They all stop and look at each other and he can see their distrust and hate mixed with fear for he’s the only one with a weapon.

He doesn’t know what’s running through their minds. He doubts he ever really understood the mentality of his fellow Stormtroopers. They were always so eager to follow the status quo, to believe what they were taught. None of them had ever realized something was wrong. Finn wonders why he was so different. But that doesn’t mean he can’t change their minds. He has to try

He presses on. “They don’t care about you. They don’t care whether you live or die. All of you, and I mean all of you are disposable in the eyes of the First Order. You’re less than scum to them.”

“Let’s beat him up,” one of the Stormtroopers says, but Finn can tell they’re only saying that to save face.

“Hold on, hold on. Listen, have any of you ever asked yourself if there was more to life? Ever wonder if there was more than the awful slop you eat every meal and the debilitating drills, and the awful rules? Cause trust me there is. There’s whole worlds of amazing, brilliant things that you can all be apart of.”

“And we will be once the First Order gains control of the galaxy,” another says, the poor thing.

“Do you really believe that? You know in your hearts that you will be just tools the First Order will use to enforce their unjust laws.”

“Well there’s nothing we can do about it,” the Stormtrooper at the back says.

“Really?” Finn presses, and he can see that they are starting to think about it. Really go through the motions of what is available for them and what could be done differently.

Humans, after all are selfish creatures and they want better lives. Stormtroopers have been brainwashed into thinking that this was the only life, the best life they could get. Finn is here to tell them that they are wrong. That there is a better life.

“What do you suggest?” the first Stormtrooper asks.

Finn grins. “We start a revolution.”

They look at each other. Finn can see the worry and fear in their eyes, but he also sees hope. He knows he’s got them.

“Okay, how do we do that?” one of them asks.

“I need to get to the communications base,” Finn replies, and with a bit more looks back and forth they nod and lead the way out of the room.

Now Finn knows that they could be leading Finn to Hux right this moment, but looking into their eyes he doesn’t think they are. They truly do want out and right now Finn is their opportunity for that. They aren’t going to waste it.

Thankfully, Finn’s right and they lead him to a communications base which is currently empty, probably due to the fact that everything is currently being controlled at the main centre where Hux is due to the fight raging on right now.

Finn can only hope that everyone is still alright at this point. He doesn’t have his communicator in, knowing it would be a distraction and he needs to show the Stormtroopers that he is genuine, not just working for his own cause, even though they are aligned.

“This will broadcast to all the Stormtroopers,” one of them says.

“Thank you,” he replies and he can see the surprise. Ah yes, he remembers the first time someone had said thank you to him. It is a foreign sentiment for a Stormtrooper. Finn plans on changing that.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” another one asks.

And suddenly Finn can see everything, and by everything he means everything:

_Stormtroopers are blowing up buildings and killing people on Utmiqua._

_Stormtroopers setting fire to crops on another planet._

_Cities are being destroyed._

_Children killed._

_Artero is dragging Pellqua’s still body behind a machine, Stormtroopers surrounding them with never ending blaster fire._

_Chewie moaning over Rose’s still body while shooting at dozens of Stormtroopers._

_TIE Fighters surrounding the X-Wings, and missile trackers picking them off one by one._

_Rey on the ground injured, eyes closed with Kylo Ren standing over her with his lightsaber activated…_

Finn gasps as he comes back to himself and his mind races. What in kriffs name was that? It felt so real… yet there is no way Finn could know that, and if that is what’s happening…

He needs to stop this.

He turns to the Stormtrooper who asked him whether or not this was a good idea and looks her straight in the eye. “Trust me, it is.”


	10. Final Showdown

The images still vivid in his mind, he connects to the com link and ensures that all Stormtroopers can hear him before speaking:

“All Stormtroopers stand down. I repeat, stand down.”

And he doesn’t know how, but he can see it actually happening – the Stormtroopers on the planets stop destroying things and shooting. TIE fighters stop moving in the air. The Stormtroopers attacking Artero and Chewie both stop.

Everything stops.

Finn breaths out a breath, but he knows his work isn’t done. Soon Hux will send out an overlaying order that the Stormtroopers will have to listen to. No. He can’t let that happen.

“All Stormtroopers I need you to listen carefully. You no longer have to be a part of the First Order. Put down your weapons. The First Order has been using you and today you no longer have to be their tool that they can use and throw away as they please. Today you can stop fighting. Today you can finally be free.”

And he doesn’t know how he’s doing it, but he’s reaching out to all of them, all of the Stormtroopers and showing them what it could be like, what they are missing, what was taken away from them, and he sees them start to waver.

“Soldiers are coming,” one of the Stormtroopers informs Finn, and he means actual soldiers, not Stormtroopers. Soldiers who chose this evil path.

Finn would like nothing more than to beat them all up, but he has more important things to do.

“Let’s go.”

Now he needs a more personal touch.

He heads towards the main take off hangar where Stormtroopers wait to be deployed. Finn enters from above and looks down at the lines upon lines of Stormtroopers standing there waiting.

They all look up at him, sensing his presence.

“How many of you are tired of killing?” he calls out, and his image is now being broadcast to all the Stormtroopers along with his words thanks to his little band of deserters. “You are all about to be sent out to your deaths, but do you really want that? What is the point? Why do others get to choose whether you die or live?”

The doors open and in strides Hux followed by his loyal soldiers. Now this will be the real test.

“What are you all waiting for?” Hux demands, “Shoot him!”

None of the Stormtroopers move.

Finn smirks. “You’ve seen how they’ve just cast you aside when your use is up. That isn’t right. Your life is worth more than that.”

“Kill him!” Hux shouts.

“See,” Finn calls out, “always sending you all to do his dirty work. He can’t even do the job himself.”

Hux scowls, then turns to his soldiers. “Do it,” he hisses.

They move forward to attack Finn, but Finn easily shoots them all with his blaster.

The Stormtroopers watch it all without moving.

More soldiers are arriving at the door, but Finn quickly shoots at the controls, slamming the doors shuts. Finn feels immense satisfaction at the fear that flashes over Hux’s face, but to his credit he quickly straightens up and surveys the Stormtroopers.

When none of them move, he leers. “Fine, I’ll do it myself you stupid animals.”

Hux climbs up to where Finn is and Finn lets him, wondering how a man like Hux will fight. He has never seen Hux wield a weapon. To be honest, he’s not sure he even knows how to. 

Hux takes out a blaster, but Finn easily shoots his own, sending it flying. This time Hux can’t hide the fear that crosses his features.

He tries to back away, but in doing so trips and sprawls on his back. It’s quite pathetic really.

Finn reaches him and picks him up by the collar. Hux weakly tries and throws a punch, but Finn catches the fist in his bare palm and snaps the wrist back breaking it cleanly. Hux screams in pain.

“Pay back,” Finn says and he wants to do more. Wants to ruin this man that took him away from his family, that ruined his childhood and forced him to be a mindless soldier, but that is not what he’s here for. Instead he turns Hux and holds him out to the Stormtroopers.

“Is this the man you want to follow?” Finn demands.

They all stare up at him.

The hangar doors open again, Finn’s quick solution finally giving away, and First Order soldiers pile in. They hesitate though when they see that Finn has Hux, and it is that hesitation that is their undoing.

A blaster shot rings out from the Stormtroopers, killing the lead soldier and it sets off a trigger. Soon all of the other Stormtroopers are joining in and it’s beautiful.

“This is your legacy,” Finn whispers to Hux, then pushes Hux over the ledge.

Hux falls to the floor and dozens of Stormtroopers start shooting/attacking him. Within seconds Hux is dead, barely a splat of existence.

It’s what he deserves.

…

The TIE fighters all freeze in the air which is a huge relief. That can only mean one thing – Finn had done it. Poe couldn’t be prouder.

They still, however, have the missiles to deal with and more were coming out.

“What are we going to do about them?” Pava asks.

Poe swerves around and in doing so faces the fourth gun. It’s standing there, quietly charging amongst the space battle reminding him of their actual mission.

“I’ve got an idea, stand clear,” Poe calls out through the com and takes off. Swerving his ship left and right and up and down till he reaches the gun and starts steering the missile around and around it getting closer and closer until he is just a hair’s breath away the gun.

He yanks his ship down in a U-shape under the gun, the top of the ship’s hull scraping against the gun’s exterior causing BB8 to beep in alarm, but it does the trick. The missile, trying to follow Poe’s X-Wing goes far too close to the gun when Poe does his maneuver and slams into the ship. Poe has just enough time to spin his ship out of the way, but the blast from the gun spins him out of control for a few seconds and he very nearly crashes into a TIE fighter that is still hanging around.

Thankfully, he manages to pull his ship to the side just in time and turns to see the fourth gun become nothing more than space bits.

Two down, one to go.

Cheers fill his com, however, the elation quickly dries up – fifth gun has reached full charge is now powering up, and with his squadron all spread out dealing with the missiles Poe knows they won’t have enough time to disengage it.

He tells Maz and the Senator this through the com and waits for them to respond hoping they’ll have an answer.

Poe swoops around, trying to take off as many missiles as he can, but there are too many of them. The fifth gun is already aiming at Utmiqua. They have to do something!

“We are running out of time!” he calls out to the Olcrest Base.

“We have to,” he hears Senator Mandi say over the com.

“Senator, what is it?” he asks back, desperate for something, anything. All of Finn’s hard work will be for naught if this gun goes off.

“If an X-Wing flies into the middle of its blast, it will disable it,” the Senator replies.

Oh.

“No! That’s suicide,” he hears his dad say faintly, he must not be standing near the com.

Thing is, Poe is running on borrowed time. “I’m on it,” Poe responds, turning his ship.

“Poe don’t you dare,” Kes calls out, this time his voice much clearer.

“No there has to be another way!” Pava screeches, but she now has a missile on her tail and has no way to help.

BB8 also beeps, but its more in fear than anything. It understands.

“I’m sorry Bee,” Poe says, wishing there was some way BB8 could launch itself out of the ship while they were flying, but that would be a suicide in itself.

“Wait, what’s happing?” and it’s Finn’s voice through the com.

No! He was disconnected, Finn isn’t supposed to be hearing any of this.

“Finn, buddy,” he says, keeping his voice light and cheerful hoping that Finn will forgive him, “we’ve just got a plan to take down the fifth gun.”

“Poe’s going on a suicide mission,” his dad roars.

“Someone please escort Kes Dameron out of the room,” Poe snaps through the com, but the damage is already done.

“Don’t you dare,” Finn growls. “Maz, Senator – find another way.”

But there isn’t time. “I’m going in,” Poe calls out, and he’s almost there anyway.

“Wait!” Maz calls out, “if you disable the entire Starbase from the inside, the gun will deactivate as well. Someone needs to get to the mainframe.”

“Okay, who can get there?” Finn asks, “Rose?”

It’s Chewie who moans through the com.

“Rose is unconscious, they’re coming back to the Falcon,” Lando translates.

“We can’t either,” Artero says, “Pellqua is badly injured and our area is covered with First Order soldiers.”

“Bring her back to the Falcon,” Doctor Tru orders, “and I can wake Rose up, but she’s going to need help to disable it.”

“It’s going to be hard to get there,” Artero calls out and the sound of blasters being shot is easily hears through his com.

“Okay, Sam is helping Rose now, Chewie go help Artero,” Kaydel orders.

“We have less than ten minutes before this thing is activated,” Poe yells. He is currently shooting down missiles while circling the fifth gun, but he knows he should just get this over with. Their plan isn’t going to work.

“Okay, I’m heading over there, but Rose will have to tell me what to do,” Finn says.

“That’ll take too much time!” Rose calls, now awake. Doctor Tru certainly does work wonders, but still Rose is right – it’ll take too much time.

“I’m going in,” Poe says, and turns his ship.

“No!” Finn screams.

…

“Open your eyes.”

That’s not Kylo Ren’s voice.

Rey’s eyes fly open and she sees over Kylo Ren’s shoulder Luke standing there. She stares at him in shock as he watches them.

Through her com she can hear the desperate voices of the Resistance. Something about a gun needing to be deactivated. She needs to help them, she can help deactivate the mainframe.

“I can do that,” she says weakly, but she knows her voice hasn’t been registered, she could barely hear her own words.

“What did you say?” Kylo Ren sneers and right, he had provided her with one more opportunity to join him.

“I said, I would rather die than join you,” she spits out making her voice louder even though it hurt.

“Very well, I’m sick of you anyways.”

He raises his lightsaber, but Rey Force pushes him back. Despite her pain, she can feel the Force better than ever, it surrounds her and guides her.

Using the Force’s help she leaps to her feet and pulls Kylo Ren’s lightsaber out of his hand, bringing it down in a clean swipe, cutting his arm off.

Kylo Ren screams in pain, but Rey isn’t done yet and she jabs forward, stabbing him in the right shoulder blade.

Before she can do anything else though the ship shudders again and it’s too much for her injury. She collapses to the ground, the lightsaber falling away.

She lays there, tears rolling down her cheeks, with Kylo Ren’s screams filling the air. It hurts too much to move.

“We have ten minutes before that thing is activated.”

“I’m heading over, but Rose will have to tell me what to do.”

“That’ll take too much time!”

“I’m going in.”

“NO!”

“Go help your friends.”

It’s Luke. He’s kneeling down beside her, looking at her like a mentor would to a teacher, like Rey had hoped he would when he was alive.

It gives her strength.

She nods, and somehow finds the ability to stumble to her feet, making her way to the door.

“REY!” Kylo Ren screams, but she ignores him. He is as good as dead anyway.

She doesn’t know how, but she manages to make it to the mainframe. Finn and Rose are already there, along with some Stormtroopers guarding the door, but they let her pass. So Finn had done it, it brings her a small amount of hope.

“You’re hurt!” Finn exclaims running over to her.

“Just get me to the thing,” she rasps out and Finn, bless his soul, picks her up and carefully brings her to the section she needs to work on. Rose is already busily working away, but even Rey can see that she is not in good shape. It will all be over soon.

“You did it,” she mutters to Finn, nodding over to the Stormtroopers.

“Yeah, focus on that later,” Finn says, then tunes into his com. “Rey and Rose are both working on it now. Stand down Poe.”

It seems Finn had been able to stay Poe’s hand, at least for a little while. She knows they have to work fast.

She pulls on the Force to help her concentrate then turns to the mainframe, and thankfully the Force is with her today for she is able to make sense of it all even in the state she’s in and she gets to work.

“Less than five minutes to go,” Poe snaps through the com.

“Resistance, the Starbase will blow up entirely with your method,” Maz says, “you’ll have less than a minute to get out of there.”

And Rey wants to laugh, though she doubts she can. Of course. Perhaps they were all meant to die.

“Okay that’s not happening. I’m going in. Repeat, I’m going in.”

“Poe, this is an order, you are not going in!” Finn snaps, pacing back and forth. Rey wonders absentmindedly if their relationship is going to survive this if they make it out.

“All Stormtroopers not helping at the mainframe please exit the Starbase immediately. I repeat all Stormtroopers not helping at the mainframe exit the Starbase immediately,” Finn orders through the com, drowning out Poe’s reply.

The sounds of shooting can be heard from the hall. It seems the First Order soldiers have found them.

“Great,” Finn mutters and holsters up his blaster, going to help.

“Finn you don’t outrank me,” Poe snipes back, “wait, what was that?”

“Don’t fight me on this right now,” Finn yells back, making Rey wince as his voice echoes through the com.

“You are all going to die. I can’t let that happen,” Poe yells back, and it’s like they are all listening to a lover’s quarrel, but one where the stakes are so much higher.

“Poe I swear to… you better not do this,” Kes shouts through the com.

“I’m getting the Falcon in position,” Lando inputs, “Artero, Pellqua and Chewie are all aboard, and Pellqua is being attended to by Doctor Tru. R2D2, show me the ship’s schematics.”

There’s a pause and some beeps then, “okay, I’m about four hundred meters away form the Main frame. You should be able to make it,” Lando supplies.

And yeah, not with her injury. And Rose doesn’t look like she can make it either.

“See! Poe disengage! I repeat, disengage!” Finn calls out.

“Finn! We can’t run,” Rey calls out.

“Shit!” Finn calls out.

“What’s that?” Poe demands.

“Chewie, can you get down here? I’ll need you to carry Rose. I can take Rey,” Finn calls.

“Rey’s injured too?” Doctor Tru asks, sounding pissed off.

“Artero, Kaydel, I’m going to need you two to cover us while we run back to the ship,” Finn orders.

“On it,” they both reply.

“Hey, what happened to Kylo Ren?” Poe asks, at least for now finally shifting his focus from his suicide mission.

“I left him injured,” Rey responds and to her horror, the focus that the Force had been helping with is falling away. She’s seeing double and her hands are shaking too much to finish her work.

“In the north wing?” Poe asks and she doesn’t understand why he’s asking.

“Yes,” she rasps out, having to close her eyes. She’s in so much pain.

“Okay, I’m going to blow that section up,” Poe calls out and few seconds later the ship jolts as another section gets destroyed.

“Less than a minute,” Poe then supplies.

“Finn, baby, please get out of there,” Viola says through the com and Rey wonders how many people are crammed into the Communications base at Olcrest City.

“I’m done,” Rose calls out. Rey isn’t – she still has her eyes closed.

A presence appears at her side and hands start working on Rey’s part. Rey blearily realizes that it’s Rose helping her finish it off. Rey can’t even bring herself to say thanks.

A few moments later, she is being dragged away. She doesn’t really know what is happening anymore.

“Finn shoot!” Rose calls out.

Rey forces her eyes open and sees Finn run in, and shoots at the mainframe, sending a shudder throughout the entire ship.

He then runs over and picks Rey up, while Chewie comes and does the same for Rose.

They all start running, the Stormtroopers with them. Chewie is faster and manages to reach the Falcon before they do. For some reason, Finn is labouring and Rey can distantly feel that he is also in pain.

They aren’t going to make it.

Suddenly she is being picked up by furry arms. Chewie has come back to help her, but none of them are close enough, none of them are going to make it.

The mainframe explodes.

…

His arm, the bitch took his arm! He’s going to make her pay for this, he’s going to make them all pay!

Kylo Ren screams her name as she leaves, but she doesn’t even look back. He screams again, but it doesn’t make the agony lessen in any way.

Luke comes up to him.

Kylo Ren hates him. Hates him with his very being. He is supposed to be dead!

“YOU DID THIS TO ME!” he screams, but Luke Skywalker only shakes his head looking over him sadly. Kylo Ren doesn’t want his damn pity.

“No. You did this to yourself,” Luke responds.

The room explodes.

Kylo Ren, formerly Ben Solo, dies.

…

“Falcon? Falcon? Come in! Come in! Finn! Answer!”

It’s Poe’s voice, frantically calling through the com.

“We are getting nothing.” That’s Maz.

“No!” Violo screeches.

Finn can only stare around him in awe. He did this. He is doing this.

The explosion that is tearing through the rest of the ship is frozen around them. Finn can feel it trying to reach out and devour them, but Finn is holding it back. He’s using the Force.

He is Force sensitive!

He stumbles backwards onto the ship, not daring to believe it. This shouldn’t be possible. He shouldn’t be able to control this, but he _is._ He’s saved them!

“It’s finally awakened,” Pellqua says softly. Finn can hardly believe that she was right.

“Lando, let’s get out of here,” Rose calls out.

“You got it!” Lando whoops, and the Falcon shoots forward, out of the exploding Starship. Once they are clear, Finn lets the pressure go and tiredness swoops in him along with the pressure.

“Resistance we are alive. I repeat we are alive,” Lando says, and it’s the last thing Finn hears before he falls to the ground and blacks out.


	11. After

Finn is the first one to wake up.

Back at Olcrest City Doctor Tru had ordered that Finn’s body needed to be put in a bacta tank for 24 hours, and since Finn wasn’t conscious to complain, that is exactly what happened, finally getting his second treatment out of the four needed for his back.

So two days after the First Order’s defeat Finn wakes up.

It isn’t over for him yet though.

Doctor Tru forces him to go through the third treatment right away which involved electrodes and this weird smelling plant cream and a lot of back exercises.

The fourth treatment is putting the bacta gel on his back for the foreseeable future and attending physio therapy for at least a month. Finn supposes he can live with that.

Three days after the First Order is defeated, Pellqua is fit enough to allow visitors. She had to go into emergency surgery once they got back to Olcrest City, and she nearly lost her leg. She will need crutches for awhile and she will be joining Finn in physio therapy.

During those three days, it seems the New Republic had been busy – bringing order back to the galaxy and sending out aid to the planets in need. It helped that they now have a bunch of Stormtroopers who are willing to be useful.

There is a lot of tension between planets, as there is to be after intergalactic wars, but things are better now. Things can now start to heal.

Artero and the Qu’mquai people have been heavily involved in the negotiations and they have been granted D’Qar as their home planet. It’s a start.

Rose wakes up next. Like Doctor Tru warned, she will always have to deal with some form of pain, and for the next month or so her physical movements will be severely limited, but it will be manageable as long as she takes care of herself.

Finn and Rose sit together in their rooms providing each other comfort. The only visitor they allow in is Artero who spends most of his time with Pellqua. They know they have people who want to talk to them, but neither of them feel up to it.

Not until Poe and Rey wake up that is.

Poe had collapsed practically the minute he landed his X-Wing back at Olcrest City. Pava had been waiting for him to come out of his ship, and when he hadn’t, had gone up in concern. There she had found him completely unconscious and nothing she could do would wake him up.

Turns out, Poe was no where near being healed when he had woken up, but Doctor Tru had let him go, believing it necessary for the Resistance. Doctor Tru had apologised profusely to Finn when Finn had inquired and though Finn was angry, he forgave the doctor. After all, Poe would have likely found a way into the fight even if Doctor Tru had attempted to stop him.

However, Poe’s body is still trying to tear itself apart and his mind is a complete mess, hence why he is currently in a coma. Doctor Tru explained that Poe shouldn’t be alive, having been legally dead for an extended period and so he had no idea whether he would recover or not.

Finn has to force himself not to think of the implications of that.

Rey on the other hand should be fine. Right now Doctor Tru has her in a medical coma so that her body won’t move around while it heals. He will wake her up in two days.

So Finn and Rose sit and wait and it’s a pause from the outside world. At least for now.

“So what are you going to do after this?” Rose asks.

The question stuns Finn. He has never had to plan his life out before, not like this. As a Stormtrooper everything was planned for him and when he defected… well everything moved too fast for him to actually think about where his life was going next.

He shakes his head.

Rose smiles at him in comprehension. “Well you probably don’t have to figure anything out right away.”

“What about you? Do you know what you want?”

Rose laughs. “It’s stupid.”

“Hey, no, what is it?”

“I want to explore the galaxy, just go on a ship and go out and see what I can find. Stupid right?”

“I think that’s beautiful,” Finn counters, and he finds that he quite likes the idea too. “Do you think maybe I can tag along?”

Rose beams, “I would like that.”

And who knows, maybe the four of them will fly of in the Falcon and just see what the galaxy had to offer. That isn’t too much to ask for right?

The door opens and Doctor Tru pokes his head through. “Poe’s waking up.”

Finn’s pulse pounds in his throat and he freezes up. He doesn’t know what to do or how he’ll react when he sees him. When Finn woke up and became more aware of what was going on one of the first things he felt was fury… towards Poe. Furious that he had decided to go on the mission, furious that he had been so suicidal, furious that he hadn’t…

It was probably a good thing that Poe was in a coma.

Now though, he’s not and Finn doesn’t know what to do.

“Are you alright?” Rose asks. Finn doesn’t know how to answer that.

“His dad is going to want to see him, but I thought I would give you two the chance first.” Right, Kes. One of the reasons Finn had said no visitors - he couldn’t bear to face Poe’s dad - which is stupid really. He knows that Kes doesn’t blame him, but well it’s Poe’s dad. Finn doesn’t know what to say.

“Thanks,” Rose says and Doctor Tru nods before leaving the room. There’s an awkward silence upon his departure. “Well I’m going to go visit him,” Rose says and gets up.

Finn doesn’t follow her.

He sits in her room for a solid twenty minutes before he moves and for a few moments he contemplates just going back to his room, but he can’t. He has to do this.

He stops outside the glass window before going in and peers inside. Poe is propped up on his bed and looks… well awful. He’s smiling though at least while Rose tells him a tale, hands moving around wildly.

The mix of emotions that washes over Finn as he takes Poe in is hard to explain, but as predicted the emotion that takes control is fury.

He knows it’s not what Poe needs, nor will it do any good, but before he can stop himself he strides into the room. “Why did you try and sacrifice yourself?” he demands, stopping at the foot of Poe’s bed and glaring at him.

Poe looks over at him in surprise, but that quickly morphs into guilt, but also a tinge of relief. Still, as he takes in Finn’s form Poe’s expression darkens.

“Oh, we’re doing this now?”

And yes, this isn’t the best time, but there’s never going to be a good time. “Yes.”

“Guys,” Rose tries to placate, but the damn has already broken.

“I was trying to save as many people as possible,” Poe defends glaring at Finn harshly.

Finn scoffs. “Oh, so your life is worthless?”

“Let’s not do this now,” Rose pleads.

“Your plan almost got all of you killed!”

“But it didn’t!” Finn screams, “it didn’t! But you would have died.” Why can’t Poe see that?

“I counted the odds and that was the best outcome,” Poe says stubbornly, and kriff, Finn wants to strangle this man.

“No, it wasn’t!” Finn growls, “I did not save your damn ass so that you could go throw it away again.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have,” Poe snarls, and Finn feels like he’s been slapped in the face.

“Poe!” Rose exclaims.

Silence rings out of the room as Finn and Poe continue to glare at each other.

That ungrateful piece of shit, Finn thinks. Well if that is what he thinks than Finn doesn’t have to spend his pity on him.

“Fuck you,” he snarls and whirls out of the room slamming the door as he leaves.

He strides down the hallway and nearly crashes into Kes who has apparently been allowed in to visit.

“Finn? What’s wrong?”

“You’re son’s a bloody…”

And to Finn’s absolute horror he starts sobbing.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kes murmurs and pulls Finn into a hug. Finn absentmindedly registers that the Damerons all give good hugs. Kes gently strokes Finn’s back and lets Finn cry into his shoulder being far more patient that Finn deserves.

“He doesn’t care about his stupid life,” Finn says in between harsh breaths, “he doesn’t see who he’ll leave behind.”

“I know,” Kes says.

“I can’t… I can’t…”

“Finn I need you to listen to me,” Kes says and pulls back to make sure that Finn is present. “You have been through so much in a short period of time and you need a break. You need to find yourself and you need to just focus on you. I honestly think that Poe can’t be there for your right now for that, and you shouldn’t have to be there for Poe while he deals with his own problems.”

“What are you saying?” Finn asks.

“He fell in love with you so fast,” Kes says with a sigh. Finn’s stomach jolts at his words… surely he’s exaggerating… right? “And he would do anything for you, I know that, but right now to him that means sacrificing himself and that isn’t healthy for either of you. You’re young, take a break. There is so much of the world you have yet to explore and so many experiences you have yet to uncover. I will take care of Poe, you take care of yourself.”

Finn is silent. He wants to disagree, his heart already aching at the thought, but then again Kes is also right. Right now he can’t even think of Poe without feeling mad. That’s not healthy and it’s not helping Finn’s own piece of mind.

“How am I supposed to help myself?” he asks, feeling ashamed that he doesn’t even know how to do that.

Kes smiles sadly. “Why don’t you go talk to your mother. I understand that there may be differences between the two of you, but she loves you very much and I believe that you will benefit from that.”

Right. Viola. Finn hadforgotten about her.

“Okay,” Finn says.

Kes pats him on the bicep. “You good?”

“Yeah, thanks. You should go see your son,” Finn says, not able to look Kes in the eye.

Kes nods and starts to walk down the hallway, he stops after a couple of steps though and turns around. “I think of you as a son too Finn. You will always be welcome in my home.”

And for whatever reason that makes Finn tear up again. He gives him a watery smile.

Finn turns to go to his room, but his feet take him to the door that leads to the non-private section of the hospital.

He doesn’t know how, but he knows that Viola is sitting in the visitor’s lobby. She’s been there almost every day, waiting for information and hoping that she will be allowed to visit. Finn doesn’t know whether to feel guilty or touched.

He walks over to her. Many people stop and stare at him, but thankfully none of them approach.

Viola is reading an old-fashioned book when he approaches and it takes all his nerves to go over.

“Hi,” he manages to say.

Viola looks up with a start and her eyes brighten. “Finn!” She rushes over, probably to hug him but Finn quickly steps back holding out her hands. Her smile dims a little, but remains in place. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

There’s an awkward silence.

“So… how are you?” he finally asks.

“Good… good,” she replies. Finn doesn’t know how to handle this.

“How are things going in Olcrest city?” he asks having nothing better to say.

“Truthfully? Never been better. Businesses are booming, moral is high, everyone is celebrating.”

“Oh good,” Finn says. Celebrating. The thought of it feels weird. He most certainly doesn’t feel like celebrating.

“How are your friends?”

Finn shrugs, not wanting to talk about them. Silence reigns around them again.

“Finn, I just want you to know that I’ll understand if you can never forgive me, but I do want you know that I love you and I will always regret giving you away.”

And perhaps it’s because he’s lost so much, or perhaps it’s because he can’t be mad at anymore people besides Poe, but he forgives her. He does.

“I’d like to try… getting to know you.”

“I’d love that,” Viola says, smiling at him, her eyes watery.

Finn reaches out a hand and carefully wraps it around Viola’s squeezing it. He’s not ready to open himself of fully to her just yet, but he… hopes that one day he might be able to. It’s a nice feeling.

…

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have.”

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them and he wishes he could take them back, but it’s too late. He knows he should at least apologize, but looking at Finn who is glaring at him with eyes full of what seems to be hate… well Poe can’t bring himself to do so. He’s tired and in pain and so confused, and Finn accusing him of being suicidal is not helping, no matter how true it is.

“Fuck you.”

And that is a kick to the stomach.

“Finn wait,” Poe whispers, but Finn is already gone and he instantly feels regret. Why did he have to say such stupid things?

“Oh Poe,” Rose murmurs.

“He’s better off without me,” Poe says though his heart is breaking as he says it.

“He was ruined when he thought you were dead. He… he went crazy.”

Poe doesn’t say anything, but he knows what he said is the truth. Poe is broken, he can feel it, everything inside of him is wrong and he doesn’t know how to fix it, he doesn’t even think it can be fixed. Finn deserves so much better and Poe knows that he will learn to move on without him. He will be better off for it.

“Poe, you do know that you have so many people who love you and care for you right? Whatever dark thoughts are going through your head, at least try and get help for them,” Rose continues.

And Poe knows he is being stupid for feeling this way, knows that he has so much left to live for, but right now it all feels so pointless. There has been so much death and it makes no sense to him why he was spared. He shouldn’t have been spared.

His dad knocks on the door and Poe feels another wave of guilt run over him.

“Excuse me,” Rose says, quickly hurrying out of the room. A silence remains in her wake.

“Hey,” Poe says, trying to be cheerful.

“Oh son,” his dad says sitting down in the chair recently vacated by Rose.

Poe attempts to keep his cheerful grin up, even though he can feel it slipping.

“I understand, I want you to know that. I do understand.”

And fuck, Poe wishes that were true, but he knows it isn’t. “My mind isn’t my own anymore,” he whispers.

His dad frowns and he leans over, placing his hand on Poe’s arm. As soon as it makes contact pain spreads out from the source and Poe yanks his arm away. He breaths heavily, clutching it close to his body.

The pain has disappeared now that the touch has stopped but the memory of it remains in Poe’s mind. The thought of someone touching him again makes him physically recoil.

“Poe?”

“Just… don’t touch me.”

“Alright,” his dad says, though he looks concerned. Poe is concerned too. He has always been a tactile person, liking to give hugs and pats on the back… if he can’t handle that anymore he doesn’t know how he’s going to last.

“Doctor Tru says that you’ve had a lot of your genetic makeup switched around. I don’t understand the full details of it, but it makes sense that you don’t feel like yourself.”

Poe doesn’t respond. Genetic makeup. Hah! It was much more than that.

“Poe, I want you to come home with me.”

And isn’t that an interesting thought. Home, he’s been away from Yavin 4 for so long now that home scarcely means that to him. No, home has always meant people to him, and yes his dad is his home in certain ways, but he knows that’s not where he needs to be. Thing is, he’s not sure where he needs to be.

“Maybe,” he says. No is what he means.

…

Rey slowly wakes up, feeling more relaxed than she’s ever felt in her life. As her sluggish mind slowly brings back the details of what had happened she can’t help but wonder why she doesn’t feel any pain. Perhaps it’s because she is dead. That would be one logical explanation… but no, it doesn’t feel that way.

She opens her eyes and blinks, taking in the hospital room – it’s clean, tidy and brightly lit. Doctor Tru is standing over her looking at his pad. He looks up and smiles, seeing that she is awake.

“How do you feel?”

“Strangely alright,” Rey replies, still weirded out that she doesn’t feel any pain. She brings a hand to her stomach and there is a bandage of sorts along it which she probes gently.

“We kept you artificially sedated so that your body could heal properly. Seeing as there was no need for you, I thought it for the best, especially considering the state of your fellow Resistance members and their handling of their injuries.”

“Are they alright?” Rey asks, remembering how Rose and Pellqua had been in bad shape.

“They’re all alive, have some recovery to do though.”

“That doesn’t sound very good,” Rey says.

“Well aside from Pellqua, the rest will have long term consequences to their injuries,” Doctor Tru replies.

“Will I?”

“No, hence you being held in a coma for so long so that I could provide you with the proper medical treatment.”

“How bad is it, for the others?” Rey asks, feeling guilty.

“You can ask them yourself, they’re wanting to see you if that’s alright?”

Rey nods, and pushes herself up into a sitting position. Doctor Tru opens the door and in comes Finn, Rose, Maz, Lando, Pellqua, Chewie, and Artero. Finn hurries over to her and places a kiss on her forehead.

“How are you doing?” he asks.

Rey smiles up at him. “Really good actually. Am I right to assume it’s over?”

The others all chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s over,” Finn replies.

Rey then frowns. “Wait, how did we get out? I’m a bit fuzzy on the details. I could have sworn we didn’t make it out on time.”

“Turns out you’re not the only Force wielder out there,” Rose says, looking over at Finn.

And oh! Rey can feel the change. Where once Finn’s Force abilities, though strong had been so repressed that it was easy to miss, now you would have to be entirely deaf to the Force to not feel it swirling around him. She would almost bet that he is stronger than she is.

“Finn?”

Finn shrugs awkwardly. “Couldn’t let you die now, could I?”

Rey feels so much love for this man that’s she’s not sure how she can express herself. Finn reaches out and squeezes Rey’s hand, showing that he knows, and he feels the same.

“So it’s really over?” Rey says, not daring to believe it.

“Yep!” Lando says, “Kylo Ren and Hux are dead, and Finn has got the Stormtroopers on our side. We’re right now in the process of putting the New Republic back together again.”

“With a few amendments,” Pellqua puts in.

Everyone laughs. And they’re all here, they’re all safe, none of those visions she had were real… except, “Where’s Poe?”

The room chills, and Finn pulls his hand back, face closing in. Rey’s own stomach turns to ice. “He’s not…?” Doctor Tru would have mentioned that surely, right?

“He’s alive,” Maz says, “but he is changed.”

“How?”

Maz looks at Pellqua and they both quickly look over at Finn before looking away. Needless to say, Rey’s intrigued.

“People aren’t supposed to come back from the dead,” Pellqua finally says. Rey feels like she’s missing a part of the conversation, and looking over at Rose and Lando, she’s not the only.

Finn, however, stops the conversation from continuing further. “Let’s focus on the positives.” His smile is so forced it looks painful. Rey’s heart reaches out for him. “There is a ceremony being held in honor of us.”

Rey groans, loudly. Beside her Rose laughs.

“What? Don’t like being the centre of attention?” Rose teases.

“Please, I’ll pass.”

“Nope!” Lando says cheerfully, “You’re getting a medal and everything.”

Rey rolls her eyes. What is it with people needing to hand out pieces of metal to honor accomplishments? It seems like a waste in Rey’s eyes.

“Well, rest up. It’s in two days, so you better be ready,” Artero says. Rey groans again.

Doctor Tru comes back in the room and shoos most of them out, except Finn and Rose, which Rey is grateful for. She doesn’t want to be alone with her thoughts right now.

She’s itching to ask about Poe, but she can see that Finn is desperate not to approach that subject, so she respects his wishes. She’ll ask Rose about it later when it’s just the two of them.

“So are you two fine? Doctor Tru said you guys had injuries as well.”

“I just have a bit of chronic pain,” Rose says, “no need to worry.” Rey probes a bit with the Force, and yes the pain is there, but it is no where near as bad as it was. At least that’s a small blessing.

“I’m fine,” Finn says with a smile, “just have to keep putting bacta gel on my back so it doesn’t dry up.”

Well that’s better than she had imagined. Rey looks down at her hands trying to make sense of everything that has happened. “I can’t believe it’s over.”

“Tell me about it,” Rose says.

“Well, now we can actually get on with our lives,” Finn says.

Rey looks up, “I think there’s something we need to do first.”

“What?” Rose asks.

“Well, you two don’t have to come-”

“Wherever you go, I go,” Finn interrupts.

“If it’s a space adventure, count me in too,” Rose says.

Rey smiles, but then she grimaces, “you may not like this idea, but I’m thinking of looking for the origins of Snoke.”

Finn and Rose share a glance before looking back at her warily. “Why would you want to do that?” Finn asks.

“Because he came out of nowhere and we have no idea where he came from or how he was so strong with the Force. He might not be the only one, and we owe it to the galaxy to make sure that another Supreme Leader doesn’t come cropping back up.”

Finn sighs. “Well this is going to be fun.”

“We’ll just have to make it fun!” Rose says, “I’m in.”

“Yeah?” Rey says, and Rose’s smile is contagious and Rey can’t help but feel her stomach grow warm.

“Well, I’m in too,” Finn says, “though just for the record, I think this is a stupid idea.”

Rey and Rose laugh.

…

Pellqua stares out at the crowd, taking in the many different faces eagerly waiting for the ceremony to take place. They are all excited, she can feel it and it’s almost contagious. Almost.

None of the people actually receiving medals are in the mood for it. They are all drawn up and silent, staring out at the crowd with stone faces.

In Pellqua’s opinion this whole ceremony is a joke, but Artero has warned her time and time again that this is important for their relations with the New Republic. He is working with some other elders on getting them a seat at the table so to speak, along with the other races and peoples that the different rulers have pushed aside over the years.

The Qu’mquai people have a certain spot if she’s hearing things correctly from the grape vine, but the other groups are having more difficulty. She was right – they only care if you’re useful, which is stupid since the New Republic barely helped at all to defeat the First Order.

She needs to get away from this political mess, it isn’t good for her.

She glances over at Rey. She heard that she is planning a trip somewhere, not soon since the others need to recover, but she will be taking off. Pellqua wonders if it will be possible to tag along. She will have to convince Artero too, but that shouldn’t be a difficult task. He may be the more level headed out of the two, but even he wasn’t meant for politics. They have other capable leaders among their people who will do just fine without them.

A droid buzzes in front of her face and she resists the urge to swat it away. There are dozens of them all lined up around the area broadcasting the event to all the different planets in the galaxy. It makes her uncomfortable at the thought of so many people looking at her.

Artero reaches down and grabs her hand, gently squeezing it. “You’ve got this,” he murmurs, and Pellqua can’t help the small smile that threatens to break out.

Senator Mandi approaches the podium and a hush falls over the crowd. Pellqua scowls. That woman hardly deserves the respect.

“You know she’s better than you think,” Artero mutters, reading her mind.

Pellqua rolls her eyes, but manages to contort her face into a neutral expression.

“To all the people in this galaxy,” Senator Mandi starts out, “Those in the inner rim, and those from the outer rim. Those who were directly affected in this war and those who managed to remain outside of it. Those a part of the New Republic and those who are not.”

The Senator actually has the gal to look over at Pellqua and give her a nod of respect. Pellqua considers making a face, but in the end chooses the higher road and nods back.

“Wherever you come from, you all deserve peace, safety, and comfort. To know that your children will grow up in a safe environment and not have to be separated from them,” Senator Mandi continues.

Pellqua glances down at Viola and Kes who are in the front row of the crowd. Viola is crying, but she is smiling as well, while Kes just looks tired. Pellqua turns her attention over to Poe. Out of all of them, he looks the worst with dark circles under his eyes and swallow skin. He has also lost a ton of weight, and his clothes hang off him baggily. Death sticks to him, trying to take back what is theirs.

She and Maz need to talk to Finn about that, but every time they try Finn manages to get away, or skillfully change the subject. They’re running out of time though.

Senator Dhia continues talking and Pellqua pushes the thought from her mind, knowing she’ll have to deal with it later.

“Our galaxy faced a terrible threat over these last several years. A threat we thought we would never have to face again. A threat that had the potential to take away everything we love and cherish. I have to admit, that many of us failed in our duty to stand up against that threat. Many of us were blind, scared, or foolish and as such did not heed the warnings till it was almost too late.

I say this because even though this is a time of celebration, it should also be a reminder. We cannot let something like this happen again. We cannot let evil and greed take precedent over love and peace. We must all do our part to stand up against those who attempt to oppress us. For it will be a cold, desolate day when we let such evil take over.

The Republic failed to do that this time, but I hope that we will not be so blind as to let it happen again. And I urge you to all keep your eyes open as well. If it wasn’t for these few heroes with us today, I’m afraid all would have been lost. These heroes, some of whom are not here today should always be remembered, and though they may not agree with me, should be looked upon as a beacon to emulate. As the chosen Senator of the New Republic, I take it upon myself to thank each and every one of them on behalf of all the free people for their service to this galaxy.”

Okay, that wasn’t too bad of a speech, Pellqua admits, she still doesn’t trust the lady though. Pretty words are only pretty without actions behind them for support. She supposes her granting them D’Qar as a home planet is a step towards positive action, but there is still so much to be done.

Dhia turns and motions to her people, who step forward and place medals on each of the honoured shirts. Cheering rises up around the crowd. Pellqua looks down at her medal, it’s such a small thing but it represents so much. And you know what? She’s damn proud of it.

…

After the ceremony things are… well things are kind of weird. Rose has always had to work hard to get what she wanted, and even sometimes to just get by. Now - though she still has to deal with her pain, and she gets tired really quickly, and sometimes it’s _really_ hard to get up and move around - she doesn’t have to do much work.

Basically, every Resistance member has been granted an honorary fund which sets them up for life. Rose doesn’t even have to work again if she doesn’t want to. It’s a weird feeling.

Of course, she doesn’t sit around doing nothing. She tried that for a day and found that it drove her up the wall. Instead, while Rey and Finn regain their strength, Rose starts researching, going through Olcrest City’s vast resources looking for clues about Snoke. Sometimes Rey and Finn join her, but Rey is not a scholar. Rose still doesn’t know how Rey learned so many languages, because she sure didn’t learn them from reading books.

Finn, Finn’s good at researching, much better than Rose, and if things were totally fine in the galaxy Rose bets that he would have powered through dozens of texts and research materials already. As it is, Finn’s concentration is kind of off lately, not that Rose can blame him. She’s worried about Poe too, they all are. But unlike the rest of them, Finn is the only one actively avoiding Poe. It’s not healthy to say the least.

So most of the time it’s just Rose and Kaydel going through stack after stack of notes. Kaydel eagerly asked if she could come along with them when they left, and of course they had agreed. Kaydel is one of them, and if Kaydel comes along, then there’s a good chance that Doctor Tru, or well Sam she should say, might tag along as well. And goodness knows, they’re going to need a doctor.

“Do you think Snoke came from a planet made up entirely of bogs?” Kaydel asks, looking over a hologram.

“I sure hope not,” Rose says, glancing over.

Kaydel laughs, then swipes the image away. “Okay, break.”

“Yes please,” Rose laughs, though when she tries to get up her body seizes.

“Rose?”

Rose has to take deep breaths to get her self back in control.

“Hey ease up, it’s okay, why don’t you sit back. I can get you what you want,” Kaydel says, laying gentle hands on her arms.

“You’d think I’d be used to it by now,” Rose sighs, keeping her eyes closed as she leans back in her chair.

“It takes time,” Kaydel says.

“You can say that.”

They sit in silent for several moments.

“How are you holding up?” Kaydel asks suddenly.

Rose opens her eyes and glares at Kaydel. “I’m not made of glass you know. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Kaydel laughs. “Trust me, I know, but I’m asking for a friend.”

Rose tilts her head. “So you don’t care about my well-being.”

“Oh shut up,” Kaydel chides, “though if you must know, Rey is worried about you.”

Rose actually feels her cheeks grow red at the thought. Sometimes, Rose is ridiculous. “Why? And why does she have to go through you.”

“Because she knows you’ll tear her a new one if she asks you if you’re alright.”

“Oh so she sent you to do her dirty work?”

“Sorta.”

Rose laughs, to think that Rey, the greatest jedi in existence, is scared of her. “Tell her I’m perfectly fine, and that next time she should just talk to me.” Or well, about what she actually wants. They talk all the time, in fact they are having dinner together tonight, just the two of them.

Come to think of it, that almost sounds like a date. Rose quickly pushes the thought from her mind. Rey wouldn’t even think of being interested in someone like her. Besides, she saw the way Rey and Jessika were laughing together the other day. Those two would make a beautiful couple.

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Kaydel teases.

Rose shakes her head and this time when she stands up there is only a slight increase in her pain levels. See, she’s getting much better.

…

Poe is at the point where he can only handle droids taking care of his medical treatments. Doctor Tru is the only one who knows of this, and he has forced him not to reveal that to anyone. Not even his dad knows.

It’s not healthy, but Poe prays that this will be something that will pass. Thankfully Jessika is the only one left who can tell if something is wrong, and she is too depressed at the moment to really notice.

Finn might have noticed too, but he isn’t speaking to Poe right now. Poe is 90% thankful for that. He doesn’t dwell on the 10% that feels like there is a gaping hole is his chest without Finn there.

Right now, he and Jessika are sitting in her room, drinking some sort of rum and pretending to watch a stupid holovid. Neither of them are in the mood.

Jessika stares blankly at the holovid, taking a swing from the bottle. “You know, I always believed I would be one of those people who wouldn’t be affected by this PTSD shit. Thought I could just bounce back from anything.”

“Tell me about it,” Poe says, grabbing the bottle, but making sure no contact is passed between them. Even just the thought of skin on skin makes him shudder.

“How did your parents deal with it? I mean Kes should be able to help with this,” Jessika asks.

Poe shakes his head. “My mom died before I was old enough to really have that discussion with her, and well, dad never talks about his experiences. Though he tried really hard to prevent me from joining the war.”

“Maybe you should have listened to him… or maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t.”

Poe snorts. “I’m pretty sure between Finn and Rey, the galaxy would have been just fine.”

Jessika tilts her head and squints at Poe. “Without you though, Finn wouldn’t have been able to escape and he would have never met Rey. You were the thing that started this chain of events.”

“Finn would have found another way,” Poe disagrees, “he’s special like that.”

“Okay, can you please explain to me why you guys are fighting?”

Poe closes his eyes as a headache starts forming, that has been happening a lot lately, and not even Doctor Tru understands why. That and the dizziness, and the constant feeling that there is something wrong with his body… it just makes him want to crawl in a hole and be alone for the rest of his life, which he hopes is short.

“Please, let’s not,” Poe says, swinging back another huge gulp.

“Poe.”

“Jessika,” Poe says sharply.

Jessika glares at Poe and is about to respond when there is a knock at the door.

Poe unsteadily gets to his feet, his unknown condition and the alcohol not doing any favours for his balance. He manages somehow to make it to the door and opens it to find to his surprise Senator Mandi standing outside of it.

“Senator… what are you doing here?”

The Senator’s eyes sweep around the room, taking in the nearly empty bottle and Jessika leaning against the couch on the ground. She grimaces, but continues on nonetheless. “I was told I would find you here. I would like to talk to you, but I see that now is not a good time.”

“No… no, now is fine,” Poe says hurriedly, grabbing at the chance to get out of Jessika’s talk.

“You sure?” Senator Mandi asks, flicking her eyes over Poe’s messy state.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Poe tells Jessika then hurriedly steps out of the room closing the door behind him. “I’m sure,” he tells the Senator.

Senator Mandi obviously doesn’t believe him, but gestures for him to walk with her anyways. “I have a proposition for you, which you don’t have to agree to now. In fact, I would advise you to take several days to think this over,” she says, glancing him over once again.

Poe finds himself feeling self-conscious, he knows he looks like a mess, but surely he should be cut a little bit of slack. “What is it?”

“I would like you to join my team on the Senate,” she says, stopping Poe short. “You have shown your incredible leadership skills with your ability to make the right decisions, as well as the tough ones. You would be a valuable asset to have while rebuilding the New Republic. In a couple of years, if all goes well you could be one of the heads of the Senate.”

Poe doesn’t know what to say. Politics has never been something he thought about pursuing. He never believed himself to be shrewd enough to play the games that they play. He is far too open, far too compassionate. “I thank you for the offer, but…”

“Think it over. My people have sent you an outline of what your duties would consist of, as well as your pay and the benefits you would receive.” She pauses.  “I do hope you consider it.”

Poe nods, for that is all he can do at this point and watches as she walks away. He stands there for several minutes staring down the hallway where she had left not daring to believe that she asked him of all people to be a part of her team.

He scrambles with his pad and opens up the message. Sure enough it lists out all his duties and responsibilities, as well as the pay and benefits. Let’s just say they are quite… generous. Having worked for the Resistance for the past few years, he hasn’t really made any money and just the pay alone is tempting.

But he closes it, knowing that it isn’t a job he wants, nor can handle at the moment. Kriff, he hasn’t told anybody this, but sometimes it’s a struggle for him to even remember his name, and it’s getting worse.

Just the other day he was talking to Kaydel when halfway through the conversation Poe realized that he couldn’t remember who she was. He had quickly excused himself and it was only two hours later before he remembered.

He doesn’t know what it means, or why this is happening, but he knows it isn’t right and he knows that such gaps in his knowledge would be dangerous to have in a person in a position of power.

Figuring maybe he just needs some sleep, Poe puts away his pad and turns the corner… nearly bumping into Finn.

For one, splendid, beautiful moment everything fits into place. The darkness, or sickness or whatever it is that has invaded his mind and body disappears and he feels whole once again.

The feeling is gone as quickly as it came and it leaves Poe feeling even more desolate.

“Poe?”

Poe blinks and realizes that it’s not just Finn in front of him, but Pellqua and Maz. The latter having just said his name.

“Yeah?”

“We need to talk to you,” Pellqua says. Poe doesn’t like the sound of that.  A quick glance at Finn shows that he is unhappy with this arrangement as well.

Looking at Finn hurts though, so he quickly looks away. He knows he should apologize to him, but how can Poe apologize for trying to do something he believes to be right?

They lead him to an empty room and gesture for him to sit in one of the chairs. Finn sits across from him, which Poe wishes he hadn’t. He’s so much harder to avoid when he’s right in front of him.

Maz takes a seat as well, but Pellqua remains standing. The two share a look.

“What is going on?” Poe demands.

“I talked with Doctor Tru and based on my own knowledge, and what I have discussed with Maz, you died. Like legally fully dead to the point where you shouldn’t be here right now.”

“So?” growls Poe. He knows he is being short, but his headache has now returned full blown, and well, this conversation isn’t helping things.

Pellqua and Maz share a look again, which is really starting to annoy Poe. Can’t they just spit it out?

Finn is determinedly looking at the floor.

“Finn brought you back to life, but he did so improperly, which is why you are experiencing symptoms,” Maz says finally.

Poe is stunned, no he’s more than stunned, he’s dumbfounded. He looks over at Finn who is resolutely not looking at him.

“What do you mean, brought me back to life?” Poe asks, still trying to wrap his head around it. He certainly doesn’t remember being dead.

“You were past the point of saving,” Pellqua says, “Kylo Ren totally destroyed everything inside of you. When Doctor Tru started surgery on your body he said that you shouldn’t have even been able to breath anymore. Finn used his Force abilities and is even now using them to keep you alive, even though he doesn’t realize it.”

Poe looks at Finn once again. Finn glances up and they make eye contact for a brief second, but Finn quickly looks away again.

“So what does that mean?” Poe asks, afraid to find out the answer.

Maz and Pellqua share another look.

“The most logical route is for Finn to withdraw his… hold on you, to let you pass away like you were supposed to,” Maz says.

Strangely enough, that actually doesn’t sound half bad. After all, he was right, he is running on borrowed time.

“Finn, however, refuses to go with that option and without his acceptance that won’t happen,” Pellqua says.

Poe fixes his stare on Finn who is looking down at his feet like they are the most interesting things he has ever seen. Finn hasn’t spoken a word throughout this entire ordeal and it’s starting to piss Poe off.

“I don’t see why that’s his choice,” Poe snaps.

That causes Finn to look up and Poe can see the fire in his eyes. “I’m not killing you,” he growls.

“It’s not killing me, it’s letting me go to the state I’m already supposed to be in,” Poe argues.

“Poe!” Finn gasps and it comes out broken and pained. This time Poe is the one to look away.

“While that is the logical move, it is not the only option,” Maz intervenes, “you were brought back incorrectly because Finn didn’t know what he was doing, but that can be fixed, and it will heal some of what you are feeling, including the memory loss.”

Poe freezes. So they know about that.

“The process is painful though,” Pellqua warns, “especially since it’s been so long.”

Poe closes his eyes. Pain. Poe really doesn’t want to experience more pain. “Why can’t you just let me die.” And he really, really just wants to die. He knows it should be a scary thought, but right now it’s the only way he can see himself being at peace.

“Poe,” Finn whispers. Poe keeps his eyes closed. “I know you are ruined over all those lives that have been lost, and I know you just want to give up because you feel like you don’t deserve to live, but please.” Finn sounds so desperate that it tears at Poe’s heart. He opens his eyes and to his horror he sees tears in Finn’s eyes.

“Please,” Finn continues, “think about what your death will do to me, to Rey, to Rose… to your dad. We can’t lose you.”

_I can’t lose you._

Poe sighs and closes his eyes again. Oh Finn plays dirty. Even after everything, Poe knows that he doesn’t have it in him to let Finn down. He will do anything for Finn, and if that means enduring more pain and having to live a bit longer, than Poe will do so, even if he knows that their relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it.

Opening his eyes and looking at Finn, he can see that Finn knows that as well, but for whatever reason needs the comfort of knowing that Poe is alive.

Poe dares not think of the gravity of that, and what that means for Finn to have brought him back, for if he does, it’ll tear at his heart.

“Okay, how do we do this?”

Three audible sighs get released. It just further grates at Poe’s nerves.

“We’ll go to the hospital. Doctor Tru has a bed ready,” Pellqua says.

Poe absently wonders how long he could have held Finn off before Finn gave in and let go. Poe wonders how much would have been left of Poe at that point.

They make their way to the hospital and true to Pellqua’s word, Doctor Tru has a bed ready which Poe has to lie down on and wait while a droid hooks him up to machines. He hopes his touch problem will also be fixed after this.

The steady beep of his heart rate can be heard throughout the room.

Finn sits beside him and reaches out to grab Poe’s hand.

“Don’t!”

Finn freezes and looks at Poe in concern.

“Can this be done without contact?” Poe asks, looking between Maz and Pellqua.

“Yes,” Maz says, though there is a frown on her face.

Finn looks hurt, but Poe knows he can’t handle the feel of skin on his body right now.

Poe wonders what is going to happen. Will the lights dim? Will sparks fly?

“Just reach out and look for his soul,” Pellqua says.

Poe can see that Finn is just as confused as Poe is, and that doesn’t bode well. How can Finn fix him when even he doesn’t know what to look for?

“You’ll know what to do when you see it,” Maz says, which Poe finds incredibly unhelpful. If he had to fix his friend’s (lover’s?) broken body, he would like a little more direction than that.

Still, Finn closes his eyes, seemingly to concentrate. For several minutes nothing happens and Poe starts to think that this isn’t going to work.

A stab of pain races throughout his entire body and Poe screams. Death would have been kinder.

Then he is gone.

Poe is in a room. There are pictures in the room, lining every inch of the walls. Pictures of him. His life.

He is sitting in this room and there is water on the ground. It is getting him wet and ruining the pictures at the bottom of the walls.

There is a steady drip coming from the ceiling, ever so slowly filling up the room. Poe stares at it in a morbid fascination.

He feels pain, but it’s not really registering with him at the moment. It’s like some veil is blocking him.

“Poe.”

Poe turns and sees Finn standing in the room. For whatever reason the water has pushed away from where he is standing to keep him from getting wet. He is beautiful.

“What are you doing here?” Poe asks. It doesn’t necessarily feel wrong to have Finn here, but it is weird. He knows this isn’t something that should happen, but he doesn’t really care either. Every place is brighter with Finn there.

“What is the last thing you remember?” Finn asks.

Poe frowns… he was…

Nothing. He doesn’t remember anything. Strange. He doesn’t even know how he knows Finn, only that its seems impossible for him not to know Finn. Finn is everything.

“I love you,” Poe says.

Finn looks sad at the words, which confuses Poe. Perhaps he doesn’t love Poe in return? But that’s alright, even if they are just friends, Poe will take anything.

“I love you too,” Finn says.

So then why is he sad?

Finn slowly makes his way towards Poe, as if he is scared Poe will run away… not that there is any place Poe can run to, and why would he run away anyways? He could never run away from Finn.

Finn reaches out a shaking hand and cups Poe’s face. Poe leans into, savouring the touch.

“I need you to do something for me,” Finn says, still sounding sad.

“What?” Poe asks. _Anything_ he means.

Finn has tears in his eyes now. “I need you to pick your most precious memory.”

Poe frowns, at first not understanding, but then the pictures on the wall make sense to him and he looks around them. There is one, right near the top, one with his mom and her taking him up in her A-wing. Just the two of them and they went to this open field and had a picnic and flew around before swimming in the lake.

It’s a memory he would always look back on and hold tight when times were tough.

“That one,” he says pointing to it.

Finn looks at it and the pain and sorrow only grows. “I’m going to need you to take that memory and put it over the leak.”

Poe freezes. But that would ruin it.

“Why can’t it be a different memory?”

“Because that’s the only one strong enough to hold off the leak.”

“But I don’t want to,” Poe pleads. He can’t lose that memory. He has so few of them with his mother already.

“If you don’t all of these memories will soon be ruined too, and I know you don’t want that. Soon that one will be gone too.”

“It would be less cruel to just let me die,” Poe says.

Finn’s face crumples. “I can’t,” he whispers. “Please.”

“What about these,” Poe says, pointing to the pictures… the memories already ruined by the water.

“Those are already lost. Seeing as they were so close to the ground, most of them were inconsequential, but if you let this continue, more important memories will be destroyed.”

Poe looks around. All his precious memories. What is he without them? It would be a fate crueler than death. But losing his most precious memory? The one memory that at times was the only thing that reminded him that there was good in the world?

And he knows that it won’t just be that memory that will be gone. No, while he will still remember his mother, the essence of her will be forever tarnished. Her joy, laugh and strength will become just stories and it will be like knowing about a stranger who did good things in their life rather then knowing a mother.

“Why did you have to bring me back?” Poe asks, for while he still can’t really put the pieces together, he knows that Finn is the reason he has to make this choice.

“Because I’m selfish,” Finn says, “and I can’t see you die.”

“You’re not going to leave until I do this,” Poe says in realization.

Finn nods.

And Poe can see the toll it is taking on Finn to be here. Poe isn’t the only one hurting.

He gets up and grabs at the memory. He pauses, watching it over one last time, trying to desperately soak it all in, all the while knowing it won’t matter.

He reaches up and places the picture over the leak, carefully smoothing it over.

The room spins for several seconds, then comes back into focus. Poe can instantly feel the difference. The memories are brighter and he feels healthier and that horrid feeling that Poe now realizes was death has crept away.

But that memory is gone, and Poe can feel it’s loss, know it’s importance, but not know what it was. And that tears at him.

He turns to look back at Finn, only to find him gone.

He blinks.

And then he is gone too.

He opens his eyes and can feel the echoes of pain that his body was experiencing while Poe took the trip down memory lane.

His body feels better, his mind feels better, but for what? He has lost something and he doesn’t even know what it is.

He catches a glimpse of his necklace and his heart freezes. His mom. Somehow he has lost a piece of his mom.

“Poe?”

It’s Finn, his voice sounding hesitant and pained. A hand reaches out and grabs onto his own and instantly Poe feels the debilitating pain that he has come to recognize as touch. So that wasn’t fixed.

He yanks his hand away and looks over at Finn, who is staring at him fearfully.

“Get the fuck away from me,” Poe hisses.

Finn reels back, but then nods and stands up. “I am so, so sorry,” Finn says.

“You should have let me die,” Poe says. And this time, he really means it.


	12. New Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... welp, I'm back... Sorry for the delay...

Rey, in her naïve youth, believed that after the war she and her newfound family would be able to go off and explore the galaxy on their own and figure out how to best fit in.

Of course, finding out about Snoke is a priority, but after that… well Rey wanted to start up some jedi teachings and look for other Force sensitive children.

Thing is, she can still do all that, but not with everyone she had imagined coming with her.

Poe is taking Senator Mandi’s position. It was Senator Mandi who had been the one to announce it. Poe hadn’t even bothered to let them know that the position was offered to him.

She tried to talk to Finn about it, but he is currently just sitting in his room avoiding everyone. She knows what happened and she feels horrible for the both of them, but emotionally, she’s not quite sure how to help either.

Rey goes to Jessika, hoping that the fierce pilot will be able to provide some aid.

“Everyone is hurting,” Jessika says, “and with the war over, people are now starting to realize that their wounds are bigger than they would seem to be on the surface.”

“So what are you saying?” Rey asks.

“I’m saying that both Poe and Finn are incredibly hurt and personally I think time and space are going to be key factors.”

“But I don’t want to choose between the two of them,” Rey says. She loves both of them. They’re her family.

“My advice? Take Finn and go off on that trip to find Snoke or whatever it is you’re planning. Poe will understand and probably be thankful that you’re doing so, and you can keep in touch with him by sending messages.”

“But won’t Poe be mad at me for choosing Finn?”

“Poe loves Finn, even with whatever they’re going through. He’ll be glad that someone is looking out for him.”

And knowing that just makes this whole situation worse in Rey’s eyes.

Still, she takes Jessika’s advice and puts all her efforts into planning the trip. Finn comes out and helps her using it as a distraction. Rose keeps everything in order, and Kaydel convinces Doctor Tru, or well Sam, to come along. Then Pellqua asks if Artero and her can join as well and they have quite a team.

The night before they are to take off, Rey is in Rose’s room watching Rose go through her stretches that her physio therapist has recommended she do each night.

It’s beautiful in a way to watch Rose move. She doesn’t have the slender build that Rey has, but she can still move in a graceful, enchanting fashion.

And she looks cute on top of that.

Also, whenever Rose smiles at Rey, Rey can’t stop her heart from racing.

Rey knows what these symptoms are.

Thing is, they also fill her with dread, for she can’t give Rose what she needs.

“You’re quiet,” Rose remarks, finishing her last stretch.

“I guess just nervous,” Rey says, “don’t know what we’re going to find.”

Rose comes over and sits beside her on the bed. “Yeah, you’ve been working yourself pretty hard lately. You do know that you’re allowed to rest, right?”

Rey laughs and gently shoves Rose.

Rose laughs too, but then assesses Rey. “Turn around,” she says.

Rey frowns, but does as she’s told placing her back to Rose.

Gentle hands land on Rey’s shoulders and Rose starts giving her a gentle massage. To say that it feels good is an understatement. Rey closes her eyes and leans into the touch. “Ugh, that’s amazing.”

“You are so tense,” Rose chastises. “I thought jedi’s were all supposed to be calm and collect.”

“Not this one,” Rey jokes.

They fall into a comfortable silence for awhile, with Rey enjoying the much needed massage, and Rose happy to provide it.

Once all the kinks are out, Rose pulls away. “Rey?”

“Yeah?” Rey asks, turning around.

Rose is looking down at her hands, which are twisting in her lap. “I really like you,” she says.

“What?” Rey says stupidly, her heart rate picking up in her chest.

“Like… like like you.”

“Oh,” Rey says.

“And I know you probably don’t feel the same,” Rose says in a rush, “but I thought I should tell you, you know… in case.”

“I like you too,” Rey says, even though that ball of anxiety has returned.

“Really?” Rose says, like she can’t believe it, which is stupid. Rose is one of the most brilliant people Rey has ever met. How could she not like her?

“Yeah,” Rey says, but if Rose is brave enough to voice her feelings, then Rey needs to be brave enough to do so too. “But I don’t want to have sex… like ever.”

Rose stares at her for a couple of seconds, then smiles. “Okay, that’s fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, as long as I get to cuddle you… I can cuddle you, right?”

Rey breaths out a sigh of relief. “Yes, and kisses are okay too.”

They both giggle at each other, feeling like they had just shared a special secret with each other, which really, they kind of have.

Then Rose leans forward and chastely kisses Rey, and it’s perfect.

…

_The ropes are squeezing him tighter and tighter. They creep up to his neck and start wrapping around, taking away his breath._

_He can’t breath._

_He can’t…_

_“Rey!” he tries to call out, his voice is nothing more than a gasp. Rey has his back to him, she doesn’t turn around, he has no idea what she is thinking._

_Please Rey._

_Rey reaches out her hand towards Snoke._

_Snoke laughs and takes it._

_The ropes tighten around his neck._

Finn jolts awake gasping for breath, the lingering pain of the ropes still an echo in his mind. It takes him awhile for him to calm down, and even then, he doesn’t feel steady.

It’s not the first nightmare that he’s had recently, not even close. Every night he seems to get them and unlike what he’s read, they aren’t all the same variation of something, no these dreams constantly change, but are all equally horrible. Has his life really been that filled with so much pain that his brain has a plethora of horrible images to keep haunting him? He already knows the answer to that question.

Finn stares at his hands. They are strong, steady… the only things in his life that he can count on. He looks up and takes in his nearly empty room, just a bed and some borrowed clothes… and Poe’s jacket, the second one that he gave him.

Finn hates it. He half wants to tear that thing to pieces and throw it away so he never has to see it again. But it’s the only thing of Poe’s that he has left and he can’t bring himself to do such a thing.

Poe didn’t even say goodbye.

He yanks his eyes away from the cursed thing and instead tries to steady his mind and focus on the Force. Since helping Poe… if you could call it that, he hasn’t dared tried to tune into it. After all, why should he deserve to have such power when he can’t even use it properly?

But he is curious, for how can he not be? The Force was always this mystical thing that as a Stormtrooper he was made to fear. Then when it became apparent that Rey was Force sensitive it took on a whole new meaning, one of hope and strength. Seeing the pain that Rey had gone through because of it though made Finn pause. And what happened to Poe because of it… well it was almost enough to turn him away from it altogether.

Thing is, he feels it now and it wants out and despite anything he wants to try, so he does.

He attempts to go into a meditative state that he has seen Rey doing. He feels weird doing it, his mind refusing to settle, too many disjointed thoughts running through his mind. After about ten minutes of unsuccessfully trying to calm his mind he stops, acknowledging he needs to try a new tactic.

Instead he tries to think back to what he felt when he had saved the Falcon, that feeling of power and control… and again he can’t get it right. It just isn’t the right setting.

He tries to turn his attention to his pad which is on the small desk across the room. Perhaps if he has a goal in mind it will work. He tries and tries, pushing at unknown barriers, trying to make sense of what he is doing and willing the power inside of him that he knows he has to cooperate, but it doesn’t work.

He slams the palm of his hand down on the ground in frustration and the feeling of helplessness and uselessness washes over him again. In the First Order he was always good at everything he did. Socially, it had been a bit of a detriment, but to everyone up above he was a rising star. He isn’t used to not knowing what to do.

Since he’s defected he has encountered a plethora of situations where he has been at a loss and it grates at him.

Knowing that it will probably be a good idea to take a break, but also knowing he won’t be able to get back to sleep, he leaves his room and goes for a stroll outside. His feet take him along the empty streets of the pre-dawn morning, only the low hum of machines echoing in the crisp air.

He finds himself climbing up a hill that looks out over the city. There he finds Rey.

She’s meditating, the first few rays of sunlight washing over her body and making her look ethereal. Finn pauses and just takes her in for a moment. The power and grace that she holds is something that Finn doubts he will ever be able to replicate.

She looks beautiful.

More importantly, she looks healthy.

“I can feel you staring.”

Finn’s cheeks burn, but he smiles and goes to sit down beside her. “Do you always come out this early in the morning?”

“When I can’t sleep,” Rey replies, looking out over the city. Finn follows her gaze feeling comforted that he isn’t the only one having trouble sleeping. “The Force helps calm me down,” she continues.

“What does it feel like?” Finn asks.

“You’re Force sensitive too, why don’t you try yourself?”

Finn shakes his head. “I’ve tried, it doesn’t work.”

Rey frowns and turns to look at him. “Well, why don’t you try with me.”

Finn hesitates, not sure he wants to experience that frustration again, but Rey is looking over at him earnestly and so he agrees. They turn and face each other and Rey holds out her hands palms up. Finn places his own on top of hers and waits.

“Take a deep breath,” she instructs and so he does, then lets it out when she tells him to. They do this for awhile, breathing in and out upon her instruction and it actually is quite relaxing. Finn can feel himself calming down.

Rey stops dictating their breaths and silence surrounds them, but this time Finn isn’t bombarded with his annoying thoughts and it’s just the two of them and their breathing.

Gradually he feels the Force surround him and he gets excited, but then when he tries to reach for it, it slips out of his grasp. He growls and his concentration slips.

It also breaks Rey’s since she looks at Finn in concern.

“It’s going to take time Finn.”

“It came easily enough for you,” Finn retorts, hardly being fair.

Rey smiles sadly. “And I didn’t have years of repression leading up to this. You’re going to have to be patient.”

Finn has never been good with patience.

They spend the next hour or so just talking about this and that, avoiding any subject that would bring the mood down. Rey tells Finn about Rose and Finn is happy for her. They work together and Rey deserves that love, so does Rose for that matter. Finn ignores the spike of pain that runs through him, it does no good to think on it.

They also talk about their trip. They want to leave soon, that much is apparent, but they still have no idea where to go or what they’re looking for. Finn suggests they just go off and explore the galaxy to see what they can find. Rey is a bit more hesitant about that, wanting a plan first, but Finn thinks he’s bringing her around.

Finn just doesn’t want to stay around here too much longer.

Yes, him and Viola have started to get along better and his cousins are actually pretty cool, but his room is still empty and lonely and his heart feels empty. He needs to do something that will get his mind off of it.

When the sun has fully rose, they make their way back to the central part of the city when they receive a message from Kaydel asking them to come to the Communications Base. They hurry off there at once.

As always, the Communications Base is a buzz of activity. One of Olcrest City’s citizens looks up when they enter and hand them a portable com. A holo of Maz’s codebreaker, the one they were actually supposed to find, comes up and asks Maz to come check out these three children, one of whom is hurt.

Finn glances over at Maz who is sitting in the corner eyes looking off into space. “Why would he ask you to come check them out?”

Maz looks over at him, her eyes tight. “The echoes of the force are not just going to stop with you two. Force sensitive people are going to start appearing again.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Kaydel asks.

“Who is going to train them?” Maz asks, “how are we going to prevent another uprising?”

“We’ll train them,” Rey says, “we have the Force, we can help them.”

“Rey, you’ve got what? Two days of training? How are we going to help them?” Finn asks. Besides, they need to find Snoke’s origins. Finn wasn’t so sure about the idea at first, but the more he thought on it, the more he realized it’s important to know where your enemies are coming from. Less chance of being blindsided later on.

Rey seeming to read Finn’s mind replies, “Once we complete our mission we’ll pick those children up and others that we find and we start something. We may not be traditionally trained, but we can still help them.”

“You need to pick up these children right away. They are slaves and they will be put back into slavery if they are not, and I fear they won’t survive.”

Finn suddenly has a guilty feeling he knows who these children are.

“The New Republic won’t allow slavery to happen again,” Rey protests.

Pellqua laughs, coming out of her position in the shadows. “Child you practically lived as a slave your whole life under the New Republic’s rule. They have their central planets that they care about, but they have hardly any control over the rest. As long as they don’t cause a huge political scene, they don’t care. Those children will go right back into slavery, mark my words.”

“We have to get them out of there,” Finn says. He regrets leaving them behind and he knows he has to fix this.

Rey looks conflicted. “So we just don’t look for Snoke anymore?”

Finn doesn’t know what to say. Someone needs to look into Snoke, but they can’t leave these children to such a fate.

“Bring them here and I will look after them while you go on your mission,” Maz says.

And so it’s decided. Their start date has moved up drastically and now instead of taking their time they are quickly packing stuff they need and making sure the Falcon is ready to go. Once they drop the children off back here they are leaving right away for Rey wants to start training the children as soon as possible.

Finn is still a bit uncertain of how that’s going to work. After all, how do they know what is the right thing to teach? Sure Maz and Pellqua said that they will help, but they can only do so much, and Finn doesn’t even know if he can still even tune into the Force. Every time he tries it doesn’t work.

He decides not to worry about it for the moment.

They are outside of the Falcon, almost ready to take off when Lando and Kes approach them.

“You can take care of my ship, you hear?” Lando calls out, though there’s a smile on his face.

Rey laughs. “We’ll do our best.”

Finn stands back as Lando and Kes say their goodbyes to the others. He hasn’t spoken to Kes since Poe left and he’s not sure he knows what to say. He sort of feels that Kes broke his promise to him. He promised Finn that he would take care of Poe while Finn could not, but Poe is gone and Kes is still here and Finn knows that Poe is suffering alone.

He glances to the side and sees Viola. They had a nice dinner together with his cousins last night, but he supposes one last goodbye couldn’t hurt. He jogs over to where she is and she smiles up at him, though her eyes are tinged with sadness.

“I didn’t expect you to leave so soon,” Viola says.

“I’ll come back,” Finn responds, feeling oddly emotional.

“I know,” she says and she reaches out and gently holds Finn’s hand in her own. “I guess I just have to get used to it.”

Things are still a bit awkward between them and so while Finn gets what she is saying, at this point he can’t really relate. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. And you stay healthy too, alright?”

“Okay,” she says, though a tear falls down her cheek. “Don’t be a stranger, I expect you to write letters.”

Finn laughs, “will do.” Inside though a brilliant, stupid idea runs through his head. He locks it away for now, but knows that he will visit it later.

He leans down and hugs her, letting her hold onto him tight for several long moments. As with everything though, it comes to an end and so with a last goodbye, Finn heads back to the Falcon.

On the way he spies Jessika hanging out in the shadows. He changes directions towards her and notices in concern that she is drinking from a bottle of strong liquor.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Finn asks.

She looks him over with blank eyes. “Nah.”

“What are you going to do?” Finn asks. He’s worried for her and he doesn’t want her wasting away.

“Probably head back to my home planet,” she says with a shrug, taking another swing from her bottle.

“Okay, don’t…” _Don’t drink yourself to death_ he wants to say, instead, “take care of yourself.”

She laughs, though it’s a broken thing. “We all deal with our demons in different ways. How do you deal with yours so well?”

Finn’s mind flashes back to his nightmares, to his lack of sleep, to his inability to use the Force, to the pain in his chest every time he thinks of… “I surround myself with people I care about, and who care about me in return.”

Jessika scoffs, taking another long swing. Finn winces. “All the people I cared about are dead… well except Poe, but he’s worse than dead, isn’t he?”

And that feels like a stab in the stomach.

Before Finn can respond, Jessika finishes off the last drags of her bottle and stumbles away. He watches her leave, not saying anything. Nothing he can say will help, he can only hope that she finds someone who can.

Back at the Falcon it’s just Lando and Kes hanging out outside, obviously waiting for him to return. So much for avoiding them.

Lando is the one who approaches first, which is a bit easier to deal with. “Take care of yourself kid.”

“Thanks. What are you going to do?” Finn asks.

“I’m going to head over to Yavin 4 with this old man over here. About time I retired,” he replies, his tone light.

Finn glances over at Kes to find him staring at him intensely. Finn quickly averts his eyes. “Well… that’s good.”

Lando’s smile turns somber. “You know, things don’t always turn out the way we want them to, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You have a great life ahead of you Finn. I can see it.”

Finn knows he’s trying to be uplifting, and in a way it does help a bit, but a bigger part of Finn doesn’t want to hear that right now. So he just fakes a smile and nods his head. “Yeah, thanks.”

Kes takes Lando’s place. Finn can’t look him in the eye.

“Son, I don’t blame you for any of this.”

Finn scowls. “So you’re going back to Yavin 4.”

Kes sighs. “My son won’t listen to me. I know better than to try and change his mind at this point.”

Finn snaps his gaze back to Kes. “You promised me that you would take care of him.”

“I did, and I will, but you have to keep your promise and take care of yourself too. And that means stop worrying about him.”

Finn shakes his head and turns away, but he’s too tired to fight. “Am I stupid to believe that Poe is it for me?”

“I don’t know… I’m not the best person to ask. Shara was it for me and no one else will ever compare, but you’re young and there are billions of people out there. Don’t be afraid to try.”

Finn nods and turns back to look at Kes. He sees a tired dad who has lived through two wars. Two wars too many.

Finn holds out his hand which Kes shakes. “Keep in touch.”

Kes smiles. “Of course.

Finn enters the Falcon. Everyone else is ready – Rey and Chewie are in the cockpit, Rose is down in the engine room, Sam in the makeshift doctor’s lab with Kaydel keeping him company. Pellqua and Artero sitting in the lounge with Pellqua meditating and Artero working on another one of his gadgets.

Everyone is here.

So why does it feel like someone is missing?

“You two shouldn’t be apart,” Pellqua stays without opening her eyes. She’s talking about Poe. Of course she is, she was very unhappy to hear that he had left, seemingly more invested in Finn and Poe’s relationship than they were.

“Well he’s not here,” Finn snaps and turns and heads down another corridor. He can feel Pellqua’s glare on his back but it’s not his fault. Kriff, it’s not even Poe’s fault. Kes was right, they just need time apart.

He lets Rey know that they are ready to take off and so the Falcon lifts off, and the next chapter of Finn’s life starts.

…

_Poe,_

_I know you probably don’t want to hear from me, but well I don’t want to become a stranger to you. I don’t even know if you’ll read this, but I hope you do ~~because that means I still have a chance, however small it may be.~~ You don’t have to write back… you probably won’t… but I’m going to keep writing you letters anyways._

_I want you to know that I understand why you are mad and I don’t blame you. I can’t imagine what you lost that day and I am so sorry that I am the reason for that. It was incredibly selfish of me and yet I still can’t bring myself to regret that decision. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Maybe. I don’t know._

_~~I do know that I love you. I don’t think I ever told you that, but I do.~~ _

_I won’t however stop myself from living my life. I’ve never really had the opportunity to really choose what I want to do and so I’m going to start doing that. And I hope you are happy with the choices you’ve made and you find your happiness again._

_Right now, we are going to pick up three children who are suspected to be Force sensitive. How crazy is that? Rey wants to start building a school of sorts to teach them after we deal with the Snoke stuff, but I’m still wary of that. Will I even be good around children? I mean, I never got to be one so how will I know what the best way to teach them is? Can I even teach them? I can’t use the Force anymore… it’s doesn’t really work for me. Which is fine I guess, I’ve lived most my life without it so I don’t need it. ~~You probably wish I never even got it for those few moments that I did.~~_

_~~I’m sorry.~~ _

_~~You know what’s messed up? I’m still kind of mad at you too. I have this gaping hole in my chest because I miss you so much and yet I still can’t get over how little you think of your own life.~~ _

_~~You know what no. Kes was right. I need to focus on me, and you obviously need to focus on you.~~ _

_Anyways, so that’s what has been going on. It would be nice to hear from you, but you don’t have to. I’m still going to write you these letters, telling you about my life, but I don’t expect anything in return. I still think we can be friends though, that’s why I’m doing this._

_~~Because maybe one day you can forgive me and I can forgive you.~~ _

_I wish you all the best,_

_~~Love,~~ _

_Finn._

_~~PS. You were my first choice that ever mattered.~~ _

_~~PPS. I would have had to give up one of our memories together if our places had been reversed.~~ _

                _Message Sent_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probs not the ending people were hoping for... if there are still people around reading this lol... but this story isn't done yet! There will be some more angst and self-discovery in part 2 before it all wraps up.


End file.
